Beginning of an end, a temporal end

So this marks the beginning of a temporal end.
First of my 5 papers, which will take a hiatus before I see similar ~ 5 (coupled with the stress, and sitting between Hui Jie and Carina) papers in November 2013.

Really had a good relaxation day, feel so guilty, but why should I? To quote Joan, "chill x999"
Maybe I deserved it, or maybe... I just want to spend more time with people (and exercise at the same time)
Basketball was cui imo for myself, my shooting was totally off form, didn't feel that proper handling that I used to train for. Ugh.

Sean asked me to reconsider the decision, kind of glad I took it. At least got to know someone a bit better, or rather know some more things better (and also found out I got bo jio-ed, although it's kay) I think it's really quite hard to get into the mood of talking... deeper things with some people around? As in, it's not that I can't talk with them, but the opportunity seems to take much longer to present itself. 

After that had a go with LoL with Bryan. Today marks the first time I am playing with him. Decent player but he doesn't talks much on the chat, but that's probably his personality. He is silent and good whereas I am the noisy idiot making a fool of himself. Somehow felt much better, more than simply a game of LoL.. probably more bonding opportunities?This reminds me how I always dub playing LoL with my roomie as "roomie time". Well, friends do things together and then talk about these things. So playing games with each other should count as "spending time" too? At least this would open up more opportunities to talk and interact with each other.

Motivation is back up. Good. There should seriously be less whining and self-mutilation (emotionally and psychologically). The fact that you know (知己知彼) where your weakness are, go and affect it. Of course some complaining is fine (it gets conversations starting some how) but at least don't let it take over your head, unless of course you are whining for the sake of attracting attention. 

So it's almost a week. Lucky there is studying to do and hence minimal talking. This reminds me of one of my "memorable" history. But this also reminds me of my weirdly bipolar-ness? Sometimes I can be "liberal" and "open" and "practical", but there are times  where I am totally conservative and wary. It's like in the past I used to initiate 1000 times / day and now probably 1 time / 1000 days? Ok you get the picture.. I hope.
Read again... I think I have a lot of friends (not to say I'm popular), but not many for me to really talk to and 讲心事. But I think there should be something that's more than that... "close friends"?

Maybe I should kind of cut down on my talking with others. My desire to interact could be interfering with my studies, and that's bad. Even if the "payoff" for talking with people is higher, is that more short term or long term payoff? Ultimately I still have grades to obtain, and I hope I am not falling into any over complacency trap.

Ok shall sleep. And wake up early tomorrow to restart my mugging clock. Roomie mugging but here I am chilling like a boss.

Wake up Kevin, complacent piece of shit.