Quick glance for 2013 in review

Going off for a game of basketball soon, but while I am waiting why not relieve this blogging hiatus of mine?

An eventful year, it really is; with new experiences and new friends.

Let's try to start off chronologically... as much as I can.

I met her. Someone whom I personally pledge I would love, not neglect and treasure, not spoil. I thought it would be really hard for me to get another, since I was "unwanted", and I was probably not the funny, fun-loving yet sensitive person like many others. I was the overly serious, can't-take-jokes and constantly put on a face of being owed a million dollars. I am still learning how to develop the relationship, balancing my priorities, but also maintaining my own identity - in the past I was so overly engrossed with my relationship I neglected my personal life (other than studies), it was terrible.


There was HOCC, the ultimate dance competition in NTU between all the halls. The competition was only half the story, the jubilation of finishing the routine, the satisfaction of actually remembering all the moves, and the pride of showcasing our 1 month+ long worth of effort. The other half was the commencement of a stronger relationship with the dancers. Looking back, we have understood each other better, felt more comfortable with each other and that's where the true colours appear. Some have commented how I have changed from last year, becoming more troll this year =/ It makes me wonder, how long does it take for people to truly open up.
My dancers are truly one bunch. They may not be the most compatible, they may have their own faults and their own worries. But we share and love good company. The feeling of completing something together is sometimes so immense it bonds us. However, not everyone will be bonded, but at least we feel more open to each other.


Drumming lessons and the beginning of other spin off hobbies. I probably went through another round of self actualisation and discovery. I do love music, although I am certainly not good with music. I can't sing, nor can I compose or even play music. But I have my own pattern, and my own tune, and I play my own band in my head. I pride in being able to recognise most songs that I have with me after hearing just around 5 seconds? Of course I'd reckon many others are able to do so, but I shall treat it as my own little achievement.
Nonetheless, the drumming lessons provided two .. benefits (I don't know how to call it):
1. Provided some roomie time out of the room - Discovered although we don't know anything in the world, we kind of catch things quickly and we just simply love having fun even if we don't foresee ourselves using that in the future
2. Discovered my love for music - Nope, I won't make music as my career, but I realised how fun it is to split a song into its components and listen to the various layers. Although I won't especially go out/drop my current commitments to practice music, fiddling with music is at least part of my "to-do-when-I-am-bored" list. Yep, guitar / drums let's go! 
Another hobby: Learning French. Yep, it is fun to learn a language, and more fun when you are really learning it at your own sweet pace. Of course it may not be the most efficient way or effective way to learn, and I might be probably wasting more time, but hey it's still learning no? I never know when I can use it, but learning new things is always better isn't it?


Becoming a senior. This is probably the 3rd time I had the feeling of being a senior. Firstly in my secondary school CCA, then in JC and now in uni. Becoming a senior is like this "coming of age" thing. Now that you know the system, you are used to the way things work here. And it's interesting to watch the starry-eyed juniors coming in with their fresh slate of mind. The trepidation, hesitation, nervousness, excitement and passion that usually come packaged with them is so refreshing. I have always liked to teach and share my opinions (sometimes too much haha). Furthermore, being a senior and knowing the system means things are probably done more efficiently and time is saved on having to figure out cumbersome administrative work and effort is spared on assignments that are not numerically significant - if not graded, it's ok to slack. And of course, we all learnt that nothing in university is "compulsory", unless when it comes to prerequisites for courses and grades to graduate.


Becoming more aware of my friendships - and concretizing some. I am really glad for the people around me. Not everyone might be a good friend, but I can always be a person to open to. I wish to reinforce some of the closer friendships I have, whilst opening and developing new ones. It will be tough, and it will be time consuming. This is a shoutout to the 4 other musketeers who frequent the class table with me. They have suffered from my incessant chatter, ludicrous comments and unrefined behaviour, but they are still surviving at the table and (probably) happily staying there and entertaining me nonetheless. They have a good balance of fun and study, something which I appreciate. I do take my studies a bit more seriously and I place higher importance in attending and participating in classes. There is always room for improvement, and I hope to inspire and improve all those around me. And I do hope to carry such relationships beyond university life, and integrating them with my own personal life.


Participating in new activities I wouldn't have reasonably foreseen in the past.
1. F1 pit walkabout
2. Driving into Malaysia all the way to Taman Negara
3. Building a submarine (which kinda failed but it was fun nonetheless)
4. Going Bangkok with my parents and my dancers - and learning how to be more "loose" with my wallet
5. Attending my first ever church service (and seeing someone in action)
6. Removing my metal plate from my arm (I'm no longer wolverine D: )


I am hoping to be someone more sensitive, yet still being down-to-earth and pragmatic. I still staunchly believe in pragmatism, but I see that pragmatism is not the way to go in some occasions. In fact, adaptability is a far greater and superior trait than pragmatism. We should acquire and learn as many skills as possible, so as to increase our adaptability to situations; such that when faced with a situation, we are able to increase our options. Never should we pick a decision simply because it is "impossible", but rather "I can do it but I rather do something else". For instance, we can be thrifty, but we should also learn to be able to get clothes that fit us and know which clothes are of good quality. I was the former, but never the latter. I knew how to save, but at the expense of my inadequate knowledge in fashion and dressing myself up to look good. Of course we shouldn't be spending too much on clothes, but I was unable to even make myself look good in the first place. Now I would say I know a thing or two in dressing up, but at the same time I know when to save and when not to be so stingy with the cash.
Furthermore, I want to change the way I speak. Many at times my voice do not match my intentions, and my tone might intimidate people instead of encouraging them. I have to be practical, yet not be too harsh demoralizing. I have to also not judge people on the fly, and always try to understand the root causes of certain decisions. Remember, assume the goodness in others. Even if people ask questions which I think are silly or have a rhetorical question, either I am so obvious I am trolling or I answer the question without adding any form of judgement in my reply. Don't assume that people know what you know, and don't always be trolling people, sometimes it pisses people off.

There are many things that are, and will be, new to me. Especially with the other sex. As I used to commonly quip, "Girls are mysterious creatures that men constantly try to, but fail, to understand" (hey this is my own personal quote in the past haha), I am learning how girls tick. At the same time I must decide when I should give in, and when I should affirm my stand. 

Again, I would like to take this opportunity to thank those at my table: Joan, Ji Inn, Clarice and Sean for tanking my eccentricities during class.
Thank you Sean for all your insights you shared with me.
Thank you Ji Inn and Clarice for not making me feel lonely during Creative Writing class.
Thank you my readers for ... reading; it touches me to know that you read my blog, as I see it as an effort taken to understand me beyond the classroom. 
I know this seems to be so REP-ish, and so here are more kudos:
Thanks to my primary school gang for still being with me, especially my basketball gang (although they probably won't read this), for providing me with sports and tanning opportunities on Sundays
Thanks Hong Rui for just accompanying me (:

And thanks to my parents for providing me with my allowance! Haha joking, and much much much more than that.

Help

It's really a weird thing. Helping people should be good right?

But why do we, occasionally, have second thoughts when helping? People judge, and you are afraid that people judge you or attempt to "decode" your efforts.
Outside: "Thanks for the help!"
Inside: "Whoa, this guy study so fast already, coming to show off is it?"

And then there's this issue of whether your help would actually help the intended person. If you end up sounding like another confusing professor blabbering on, both your time will be wasted; but your poor friend would still say they are "fine with it" because they do not want to make you feel bad.

So you end up not helping. But is it an overall more efficient use of resources?




I wonder what have become of me with examinations. I do not want to complain, because complaining is not going to do anything and it will simply end up in a spiral. But I too want to let out some steam? Maybe it's because I want to show that I have faults. It's nice to know that people regard me highly, but sometimes it becomes irritating instead. As in, I don't mind getting teased now and then but sometimes I get this feeling that people in fact do think in that way and then they assume!
Not say I have done fantastic this time round, I have grown much more slacker, probably too slack? I'm not sure. Maybe we are all already used to this examination mode.


Now is the final exam. Finally! And I have decided to go on trips with people... but sadly things seem to be cropping up, such as the Bangkok protesting.

And holidays are here... Looks like Round #3 of "Who will you be with during the holidays". Time to catch up with old ones and rebond those decaying ties...