"Whoa why you work so late?"
My typical answers:
- This is the problem when we are too responsible: (What I want to portray: LOL, good one; What I'm probably portraying: Just being cocky)
- There's just alot of work to do
- If I don't work, I also go home play Dota, might as well be more productive
And then I just read this short post on the frog in boiling water story - a story all of us should be very familiar of.
And my friend literally... like when I'm typing this... just told me "its like i didn't know how toxic my last environment was until i experienced a new one"... which is the hindsight of the story.
How do I maintain this "youthfulness", this "innocence", this "bright eyed, highly motivated, want-to-save-the-world" mindset, where I believe that everyone is doing their best, everyone wants to help each other and everyone is being nice?
However, I can slowly understand why working adults get jaded with life. Why usual advice given by "people with experience" fundamentally takes the form of: "protect yourself". Be it ensuring you have black & white when making decisions or in meetings, or trying not to volunteer yourself too readily, or drawing boundaries in roles & responsibilities.
There are "positive" reasons and "negative" reasons. For instance, having black and white evidence means that there's something that the team can fall back on - because honestly our memories can't serve us very well when there's information overload each working day. However, having black and white evidence can also be used as a form of a shield (or even sword) in times of crisis.
Both reasons are logical per se. But what differentiates them is the mindset of behind the reason. The person who believes in the former reason would probably be judged as being more naive than the person firmly believing in the latter reason.
But isn't it sad that "naivety", which can be a form of optimism, disappears?
This balance has to be carefully managed.
I'm ok to OT because I want to help my team. Because if not me, then who? My team mates who themselves are also drowning? We are all in this together. But sometimes, the thought of just "why am I doing this?" or "am I foolish" creeps in. But I try to stem it before it gets control of my head. Because ultimately, there's no "I" in teamwork is there?
I'm also lucky to be in a privileged position where I can make this decision. I don't mind OT because I don't have significant other responsibilities.
Nevertheless, it still can be exhausting sometimes...
