So.. now begins my countdown to ORD?

So.. now begins my countdown to ORD? At least 12 more months to go, 1 freaking whole year to spend in this camp at tekong. >.<

There has been alot of complains so far - from the ulu-ness (4k inside?) to the seemingly lack-of facilities to dirty bunks and other places. (sidenote: I have even referred ourselves as being part of the appendix in any directive or structural change in BMT) But over time, our own analysis has kind of turned these grievances to cheers - from being left alone and untouched by main HQ to having found sufficient facilities and being able to adapt our activities to the place (like playing squash or badminton in the afternoon instead of at night) to doing mass clean-ups of our residences. Furthermore, talking with other friends of mine in main camp has also enlightened me to my relatively better and more desirable situation.

This has made me realise 1 thing, or rather deepened the understanding that no matter how much you complain, there would always be someone worst off than you. You can either compare with someone worst off and feel better or compare with someone better off and feel worst.

In fact, I feel that the inherent point is there is no use comparing yourself with anyone else, since it is just mainly a feel-good or feel-bad gesture. If you try to show how deep in shit you are in, you are mainly just trying to "show off" and hence gain people's sympathies. That is not going to change anything at all! That is not going to improve your situation, in fact it makes it worst as you would have told your mind to tell yourself that "I am in shit". The phrase, "When life gives you lemons you make lemonade" really plays it out now. Of course, "When life puts you in ulu-ness you enjoy the surreal peace here".

Anyway, that aside, I have a full one year ahead of me. My parents have been pestering me to do stuff and not idle away my life. Well, I replied, "I do have plans". And as I predicted, "You are not showing anything" was their reply. Well, I do have plans. But I just feel like taking it one step at a time.

1) Get my driving license

2) Learn guitar - like from basics. I don't even have a single slight music ability.

3) Read up a bit on A-Level physics

4) Give tuition (to earn extra income)

5) Pursue my higher education wishes

6) Strengthen my physical abilities

7) Possibly pick up new sports like squash or continue with my badminton. Basketball is a must though :)

8) Read more books

I don't know, its my way to do it one at a time. At least I want to finish my driving license first. I want to do it in one clean shot, finish it and not having to think about passing the test again.

Is this debate in fact about our changes in thinking? My parents want to see something. I promise I will do it.  They don't see it today. They won't see it tomorrow. Then next week they will see me again and ask again. I tell them construction in progress. They harp again. Ok I shall not use the word "harp", but rather "remind". Maybe I should be doing stuff now? Maybe not, I just can't get my mind of my driving. Confident I may be, but I am also equally worried. Oh well...

Anyway, changes are inevitable, and there are changes to my life already.
Our weekly meet-ups will be more infrequent and un-predictable as tuition has ended. Furthermore, my perm-staff status in NS and her increasing (never-ending) workload will definitely throw a spanner to the works of our relationship.
In addition, I will be meeting new people and will possibly be seeing less of my NS mates whom I have spent a good 6 months with already - and have found a good bond with some.

I am also now placed in the commander's position, and with power comes great responsibility - literally. From basic discipline of the recruits to training them with the right skills to handling tough medical and psychological cases of the recruits. Even though it could sound as easy as to just refer the recruit to the appropriate higher authority, it will require some skill and experience to be able to discover and pry open such secrets and information that others might find undesirable to be shared.

Oh well, changes are undesirable in the sense they disrupt our sense of comfort in predictability. When we know what lies ahead we will feel safe. With a foggy horizon we will lack even a sense of direction and that immediately propel us in fear - that's natural human instinct anyway.  But then, with humans being humans equipped with the power of creativity and the mind, one have to translate this fear into a form of curiousity - which is a positive feeling. And yes, to the sense, hones our adaptability. I won't deny that I did complain and whine about such changes, but I know that I will use this to analyse myself better, to understand what is inside me. Whether I can in fact command recruits, earn their respect and also, interact with other people - literally. I really can't wait to get my first batch of standard BMT - not trying to put them down but rather one must concede that they have other forms of thinking and perspective? So yes.. can't wait!

So yes, this is alot of writing. I just decided to sit down and blog. alot. Well, it has been a blog drought and deciding to just stop playing some games - ok I did played some games which interrupted this posting - to do something other than gaming. At least blogging enables me to put down what is on my mind these few days. >.<

Yes.

Thanks for reading :)

there is more than it meets the eye

the quote "never judge a book by its cover" comes pretty true - at least at Rocky Hill Camp.
Initially, we entered the place with much disgust at its utter ulu-ness and rural-ity. But now we have pretty much settled in this place :) You just need a bit of adventure and exploring, and you will be able to at least find some tiny jewels here and there!

Haha... so yep. I can't wait for my recruits to come. Alot of questions are waiting in my head to be answered...