ah ... all goes well.. erm hmmm?

the "talk" went pretty well... I am ok with anything.. scold me, lecture me... but please... never ever.. do that...
I have borne the brunt of my folly. And I truely appreciate the experience. It seemed that someone had planned it all along, and I kind of predicted it.. but dared not take the risk... Overall I am thankful for that person to let me understand me better....

at least my conscience is now clear, and I think the 1000-word essay is the ticket to my normal self.. no more nightmares, deep thoughts... hmmmm ...

however... I actually uncovered much more stuff.. the school is indeed a political arena... really... never ever say things.. cause you never know the backlash that might occur.......

just think about it

(if you want to know more.. just ask me)

Looking at my own personality, ENSP..

I found out this interesting relation: "ENSP : More starts than finishes".

And I find this VERY relevant to me..
for me.... its not just any finishes, but rather CRAP and LOUSY finishes.
I think I have to buck up... but HOW?
HOW am I going to do it? ... =(

man..
furthermore... the people I want to work with... "reject" me? ... maybe cuz I am too noob already? ... I attempted in 3,4 competitions, yet I won nothing... whereas for my friends, participate in the same one, win like... zzz ..

oh man..
seriously...

what's wrong

闲，我已经站在地雷了！
throughout the months.. I have been keeping silent, quiet... and now I have to pay for all this 避开-ness.

well... now it all depends on myself... i caused it, i asked for it.. so I face the music myself.

ah...

jia xi so pr0 lor..
win liao lor

then me
dunno what..

wa
just finished watching Dreamcatcher on Channel 5.

it is an adaptation from the story Dreamcatcher by Stephen King..
rather interesting... there's the usual story plot... but still it is exciting and gripping.

hmm i think I should read more of such stuff ... getting spooked aint my cup of tea >.<

Stephen King, by the way, is a famous and excellent horror story teller.

this marks my centurian post! =D
should post maybe longer.. hmm ? =D

anyways was surfing around the net, stuck at an integration question (hate them)... then found this uber cool, good website : http://www.angelfire.com/bug/calc/integral/index.html. It seriously rox man I tell you!
Just put in a function, it'll integrate for you!!!
however, you must input your stuff properly
for example,
tan x > tan(x)
log x > log(x)

I havent tried for base e. yea..

haha go see yourself


anyways.. today we HAD A HALF DAY. OMGAWD!!! WOOTS... all the achievements.. but only 2 hrs of half day >< .. but anyways its still a discount?

went home.. and started playing = = ..
darn early.. lolz


furthermore.. today rain like siao siao siao.
crazy la..
but the weather was nice lorhz =) ..
so cooling.. no need fan.. can sleep LIKE .. *who ah* ...

Its a beautiful day....

A nice song by U2.... nice music =) ...

and I really hope I get one in the future...

Just realised I screwed up several things.. oh man .. sian....

I just wish the songs I am listening to .. can be real
I just wish the dreams I am pondering over .. can be real
I just wish the people I am wanting to meet .. can be real

I am not sure already.

watching Live In The Undergrowth now...

you all should just see how zai the animals are... more brilliant than we humans....
using "primitive" methods to great effectiveness and efficiency...

omg..

to think the small 8-legged spiders.. small but unique..

omg omg omg.... zai

I think we humans need to really sit down and watch them..

I have been randoming throughout the day...
however.. randoming to myself only..

thoughts.
ideas.

whatever you call it

不知道我如何这么样
天天又想同样的回事
却不能又不会处理它
可能我太着急了，
可能我太着慌了，
可能我太糊涂了，
什么也不懂不会
只好默默地过生活。。。

======================

and I just felt very surprised and ... cold... after hearing something

I am not sure why.
I am not sure how.

Friends seem to come and go, arrive and leave.
Some go quietly, others with a bang.
Some go off gradually, others in an instant.

Some come slowly, others click on the spot.
Some come heartily, others through unkempt silence.

but.. looking around...
how many do I really have in fact?

how many can I confide in?
how many can I share my worries, my happiness?

not sure.
not really sure.

am I losing more than I am gaining?

=================================

then again, this thought seem to be ringing in my head.. usually at around this time..
the time when I am pondering, thinking, recalculating, recounting... about me, myself and I

" Destiny has its own way of recorrecting things... "

Let me see if it works, because I need one severely now.

well...
just created the above image in 10 minutes lol lol ..

random pix ? ..
hmm ..

does it tell feelings in my heart? or not?

it is up for anyone to tell...

whoa... love the uber impromptu assembly performance today by 4 very pro gentlemen in our class!

Love you Yew Wei for your outstanding dexterity with the guitar! =) .. haha... even though I have heard it before.. it is still as good to listen!! LOVELY man....

Music seriously change the perception of a person...
Seeing Gerald and Zong Ning playing their musical instruments... (with all passion and concentration displayed in their faces).. listening to the melodious music
omg... somehow i just.. kinda... admire them =) ..


haha somehow am proud of my class today .. heh

They say being happy is good for your health.

I am elated!

This is getting crap, sick and I am bloody tired of this..

Waking up:
Aching limbs,
Pissed,
Lethagic
Eyes itch
Clothes stinking from sweating during sleeping

In School:
Running away from teachers for certain things
Poor grades
Feeling inferior thanks to others

At Home:
Have to answer rhetorical questions over and over again.
Then... think and feel about .. other stuff..
Feel like asking others, but cant.

Sleep:
I just wish .. everyday could be just like this
Somehow I forget all my worries when I am about to sleep..


What's wrong?

Gone. Gone gone.

I thought it must have disappeared for a few years... but it must have been a facade..
oh well ...
the signals are now clear. oh well...

can you all please just ... dun be so nosey and pokey?
its irritating..

i am trying to change, yet you are holding me with a leash.
i changed for good things, you still bug me with history.

what the hell..

and the thing is you are living in the same house as me

its so freaking hot!... zzzzzzz