Political Ideologies

Was rummaging through, or rather packing, my old notes and I found this "idiot's guides to the various political ideologies in the world" - in form of cows. No, that's not the title of the work, but rather what I think it is :)


I think reading this can give you a basic understanding of the different ideologies - or it can be fun reading when you have nth to do.


Scenario: You have 2 cows (unless otherwise stated)
Communism: You give both cows to the government, the government sells you some milk.
Socialism: You give both cows to the government, the government gives you some milk (take note the difference)
Nazism: The government shoots you and takes both cows.
Fascism: You milk both of them and give the government half the milk
Capitalism: You sell one and buy a bull.
Bureaucracy: At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Bureaucratic Socialism: The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.
American Democracy: (Assuming you have no cows) The government promises to give you 2 cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate"
British Democracy: You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government does nothing.
Singaporean Democracy: The government fines you for keeping 2 unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
Hong Kong Capitalism: You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile you kill the 2 cows because feng shui is back. (I am serious no mistakes here when typing)
Feminism: They get married and adopt a veal calf.
Surrealism: You have 2 giraffes (not cows). The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. (Yes again, I am serious)


Oh apparently, that is in fact a satirical commentary by this professor named Gus Dicomitis, ok not like we bother.


Enjoyed it? I did :)

Your arrogance and much-too-inflated confidence has led you to more misery.
Good job Kevin, you really screwed up.

Woohoo! In Japan now!

Kon Bawa (Good evening)!
Haha, omg just had a steamy bath in the hot springs :)
I am spending 100 yen = $1.60 SGD for 15 minutes of Internet, quite scam right? And the internet is so freaking slow compared to the one in Changi Airport, which is free and MUCH faster.
Having fun so far, ate good shashimi (omg I so love it...), had nice hot springs bath, reminiscing Mongolia days (icy cold weather), and sleeping alot.
Guess what, i have already put on 1KG!!!! wahahaha!
(7 minutes already wtf - wa lau I want to chat with people, but there is no time :( )
Yep, missing some people here and there, but overall still having fun. Hope you guys have fun back in Singapore too :)

You guys will sure love the hot springs... it literally humbles everyone, if you get what I mean hehe. And it also makes you much more confident about your body (more hints there)
(9 minutes ... sian)
Ok la, realised most Japanese food not very nice, must eat at specific places one. Or rather Hokkaido. Maybe its all found in Tokyo? lol

And ya, Japanese stuff are severely expensive and overpriced. No wonder its said to be the most expensive place for expats to live in, and I really mean expensive. Ok la, some are not bad, but most are really ex. And cigarettes are damn cheap k? 300 Yen for 1 packet, which can only buy you like less than half of a bowl of la mian or -don or whatever.

Ok, I just realised the Internet speed is 64KB/s, I better click *Publish post* before time runs out.
And.. to make you all jealous... SNOW!!

lol i am still here...
stupid airline, cock up some delay for some reason.. now stuck at home

the adrenaline and excitement's totally defused now

in 25 mins time i'll be in a taxi to the airport!
ciaos ppl!!
be back on the 17th dec :)

sick

no, not in the mind, but rather the body - I not so sick la
man, what's with my body? I have been getting sick so often, and here's the perfect method on how-to-make-kevin-sick

1. sleep beyond 1am

that's it
and I will be sick

had the sniffles today, which made my mood foul
seriously, being sick is damn shit
its like you don't want to do anything at all - just lie in bed and stone stone stone
furthermore the rainy weather makes sleeping on the bed just the ultimate incentive haha

THINGS TO DO

SO MANY THINGS TO DO SO LITTLE TIME!

1. get good clothes for prom
2. get new laptop
3. recontract my internet
4. get better mobile phone plans
5. BUFF UP
6. play more basketball
7. go out more often
8. declare
9. find holiday job

OMG LIKE THAT SO MANY THINGS HOWWW

ok at home, changed, ready to go out
yea.. as what I read from my other friends, A level just finished .. like that. yes like that.

no bang
no hooha
no woosh
just "yay its over"

and now, we students are left to be aimless zombies
gosh, i have thought of this scenario, and why am i not acting on it?

12 years...

12 YEARS OF WAITING!
the day of RECKONING HAS FINALLY COME ON THEE
YESSSSSSSS
TIS' THE DAY WHEN MEN SHALL RULE :D (ok me)

WAHAHAHAHA
OH YES! I CAN FEEL IT
ITS ENDING IN .. 3 hrs ++ !!! OH YES OH YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!