Friday, May 30, 2008

thanks for the time...








and whatever you have done






and why must this week end so fast?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

a whole new stage
a whole new level

“亲” 一个特别的意思

Monday, May 26, 2008

today's CIP taught me, if nothing else, one thing:

how to play with kids =D

haha...
it's one thing when you derive personal enjoyment from the fun.. doing things that you have never really done or indulged in before for 4 years?

chasing...
skipping...
erm having kids snatch things from me..
taunting them to step on my leg, only to move my leg when they try to...

but to me,
what's so so much more important than that
is
the smile on their faces
the look of gratitude reflected on their faces when i tell them, through my actions, "someone cares".
the fun they get when they spam ink on my leg

with them,
i truly forgive and forget (:

wth

I am speaking this with vent up emotions, but please pardon me for whatever I am saying.

Freaking hell, when can you ever just shut up?
Its like, every week I hear something about studies and shit. Ok not even every week. Every 3 days I am “counseled” about how my studies must take precedence over everything else, not even a day can be set aside for a really fulfilling CIP. F*** you man. Please don’t be so f**king pragmatic will you?
I know you are trying to instill “sense” into me, do you know that your definition of “mature” is just basically to be “pragmatic”? ( On the side note, the post just before this touches briefly on pragmatism )
I am glad and grateful you have made me so, but at the same time please do not overlook the power of emotions and feelings. If everyone was like you, what is trust? Then won’t the world just become suspicious of each other? I am not calling for perfect altruistic utopia, but rather just understand things like “I want to go because I feel for it”. If you believe in such things, then what is a school for? I my as well be in a single class by myself and not mix with anyone else?

One reason why I am not telling you things is because I already know how you react to it, and I do not want to hear it all over again. I might be living in my own illusion and denial, but the problem is you are also living in yours – or at least I think so. Hearing you is like listening to an emo person, seriously… its just freaking depressing to hear you talk. Every little thing ooze with sarcasm and critique, and is devoid of motivation and hope. DO you know the power of motivation? I am trying to make myself self-motivated through various things – my friends, the ones that I love, the ones that I treasure, and my own personal dream(s).

I know I am rude and that you deserve to know what is going on with me. However the thing is I find that “Ignorance is bliss”, and that for you knowing less is bliss to me. This is really sad, but sorry, this is what I feel. If I told you I am going for CIP or for my SEE2 meeting, I will be lectured with the same script all over again.
I think the rest of my holidays should be spent in school or the library.. staying at home just ________.


( btw, Nicholas on the Arena – RI team last speaker – is super cool heh )

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Looking at the 四川 earthquake, and the charity show that's now showing whilst I am blogging, I can't help but find emotions welling in me.

However, there's something wrong. I compare myself with my friends, with the host and hostess, with the various "performers", I cant help but feel a bit cold and unfeeling. It is like I can't reach that kind of emotion?

Searching myself, I find myself a pragmatic. I think too much, I think about the hidden meanings, the hidden agendas.
Look at the various media hype about China, look at the various aid pouring in into China, dwarfing the amount of aid to Myanmar. I just can't help to think that countries are helping China more... because of economic reasons. Sorry to say, but Myanmar is of much lower economic concern to these countries than China.
This show is just a show to raise money, and to show China that Singapore care, so that will add another reason to why China should be on friendly ties with us.

To look even deeper, this incident might be more of a wake-up call, and I cannot help but shrug. The main contributing factors to such great destruction is blamed to poor and shoddy construction brought about by cost cutting measures. I feel that this earthquake is a way to alert and warn the Chinese not to take such important things for granted, and to look severely into these things dealing with basic infrastructure of the country.

Also, if you are media literate, you might just view this whole show as a tear jerker, tugging at your heartstrings... what other better way than to play up emotions in order to get the money out from you?

sorry but if I sound just too pragmatic and unfeeling. I do feel sad and stuff, but not too such extent.

maybe due to my past experience? or maybe because this stupid world of media has just made me cold and numb mmmmm ?

Saturday, May 24, 2008

First day of holidays !

and someone just woke up an hour ago....

sleep lah
sleep so much

but good heh .. you needed it anyways..

and now ... 得到了双喜..

... and then .... OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.. WHEEEEEE

:D

now is holidays.. maybe I should sleep more too haha .. blerhx.
so much things
so little time
this is REALLY crazy...

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Last day of Semester 1 tomorrow

Why do I feel so excited?
mmmm

The "holidays" is just an uber long break time lor.
*look at my organiser*
omg so many dates occupied.
blerh!

i think normal school day is actually more slack lor

mmmmm
heh

anyways... the last day of school is a cause to celebrate for as well
... and I shall end the last day of school with ...
1) A chem test .. YA A TEST ON LAST DAY OF SCHOOL? WTH!!
heh
pfft




and of course.. not forgetting special people .. :D

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

A new challenge is going to await me
we decided on it only just
mmm

but i think it'll be an interesting one
yet enlightening one
and possibly a solution to most of our questions....


mmm

Monday, May 19, 2008

went to the temple to pray for Vesak Day today

hehe

freaking crowded

( I felt like talking about how religion is important to society, and how it has shown the other side of ourselves.. but now i dont, maybe some other time i'll type it out )

oh ya.. there was this dumb car parked illegally outside the temple.. then this policeman took a photo of the carplate.
hmm innovative way? hehe... that picture is concrete 100% plus chop evidence lor.

imagine this :

Driver: pray pray pray.. whoa i feel good i have done a good deed in the temple. i feel blessed, i feel great!
Driver walks out
Driver: *^%$^#$%$&#$%#&# F**K STUPID KAYU MATA! GO DIE LA.. MAKE ME pAY THIS STUPID SHIT! HOLY CRAP. OMG! WA LAU !!! just now fine.. now also fine.. wa shit!!!

hehe...
indulge :P

Saturday, May 17, 2008

ok 3 days gone like this

and i come back with more homework

wow ....

and i am left with 2 more days

this is seriously cool...
wish me luck that tml i dont waste my time

-----------------------------------

on another note..
is it quantity or quality that matters.... mmm
it still bugs in my brain .. what defines being more blessed

黄城夜韵 - 你我的心声

本是默默无名的落尘,在我们手中却 擦亮成一颗闪亮的黄城之星。
- 1999年 服装组

在这单程的人生旅途中,我要抓紧某种形式的票根,来证明自己曾经地参与。
- 1999年 摄影组

在黑暗的隧道中,我们是目的地的眼睛
- 2000年 灯光组

三个月,一个字:累。
为了《黄城》,人累心不累。
- 2001年 技术总监

终身难忘,毕生怀念。
- 2001年 ASM

囚禁在黄城,我心甘情愿,无怨无悔。
- 2001年 《囚》

《黄城》...... 因为爱你,所以愿意。
- 2001年 《愿》

一言难尽...
- 2001年 音响组

肺腑之音,胜于天籁。
- 2001年 音响组

在让外面的世界认识到《黄城》时,我也重新认识了你、我、他。
- 2001年 宣传组

一闪一闪,忽明忽暗,我们有一份热,发一份光
- 2001年 灯光组

就算是执迷,我也执迷不悔。
- 2002年 《警》

不要问,不要说,一切尽在不言中。
- 2002年 《警》

爱你 是我窒息前的力量,奋斗后的勇气。
- 2002年 宣传组

谁说水火不能相融?
《黄城》就融合了我们火热的情感 一级努力付出而流淌着的汗水。
- 2002年 服装组

原来爱上黄城,不需要任何理由
原来爱上黄城,是为她付出一切
回到原来,倾听黄城的跳动
你,是否已被深深地感动?
- 2002年 道具组

黄城能让人忘记时间,时间却无法让人忘记黄城......
- 2003年 《从盒说起》

我不懂什么叫累。
我只懂什么叫值得。
- 2003年 《4343》

黄城是......非言语所能表达出来的。
- 2003年 摄影组

感谢,不只三言两语。
感动,不止三分两秒。
永远,黄城。
- 2003年 财政

有累过,有泪过。但累得快乐,泪得值得。
- 2004年 《半杯水》

我伫立在快乐与悲伤的边缘,看不清楚自己的方向。
但到最后,三个月的泪水中,倒映着的十三个月后的微笑。
- 2004年 《半杯水》

灯光令我的岁月不再留白
- 2004年 灯光组

你叫我在生命与黄城做出选择,我选择了生命...
但你不知道的是 黄城 就是我的生命。
- 2004年 宣传组

致:《黄城夜韵2004》
的照片,
不是淡忘,是惦记。
二十三年耐心堆建的堡,
守护着一颗颗你我赤热的心。
里,
想起那首熟悉的歌曲。
那时的欢笑化作今日回忆里悠扬的律。
我们 还未来得极怀念,
黄城又来了!
还未来得及欢笑与惆怅,
戏演完了。
诚心捎来一份载满关切的祝福:
演出成功!
《黄城夜韵》2001-2003 启

爱上黄城就像是得了种治不了的自虐症。爱得越深,睡得越少,使趋势的痛苦越深刻,就越喜欢黄城。
我病了,病得不轻。
- 2005年 《我们这里还有味》

去年黄城忙得不可开交,以为今年不参加了。可是,我还是回来了。这就是黄城的魅力。
- 2005年 摄影组

没有灯光,看什么戏?
- 2005年 灯光组

如果三个月的共同奋斗能换来毕生的友谊
如果三个月的疲惫能换来无限的满足感
如果三个月的煎熬能换来一生的感动
如果没有黄城,这一切都只会是"如果"
- 2005年 服装组

疯了,真得疯了
许多人都认为我们这群为黄城而拼的都是疯子
但是,我们疯得很光荣,疯得很骄傲
至少,我们每一个人都把握了疯狂的机会
至少,我们每一个人都拥有疯狂的勇气...
而你呢?
- 2005年 技术总监

一个剧的完美 不在于它完美与否
而在于它有没有诚意...
- 2006年 《9》

酸甜苦辣-在黄城全都尝到了。
但,在谢幕的那一刻,
我将只记住其中的甜。
- 2007年 《你怕黑吗?》

从来没有这么执著过。
- 2007年 《玻璃鞋》

熬过无数夜,流过无数泪,
到了现在,还需要亲口宣告
“我爱黄城” 吗?
- 2007年 宣传组

没有谢幕过 不会了解黄城代表的是什么
没有唱一首华初的歌 就不会爱上黄城,也不会有所感动
- 2007年 道具组

黄城夜韵,死了都要爱!
- 2008年 《晚安 妈妈》

开声日当午,
汗滴拍戏府,
谁知黄城戏,
场场皆辛苦。
- 2008年 《冥》

黄城让我又爱有恨,
恨之深,爱之切。
- 2008年 宣传组

参加了黄城,爱上了黄城。
陪伴着我们的月光,从未如此璀璨。
- 2008年 灯光组

2009年的黄城夜韵,将会是种怎么样的奇迹?
我 拭目以待...

Thursday, May 15, 2008

ok, so somebody told me "post better posts", so here i am posting.
(should i put you with a blow-by-blow account of what is happening with my life?)

actually i really don't know what to post yet, so i shall return later to edit this.


=====================================

edit:

haha .. wheee dunno why got 灵感

in JC you realise you have alot of new things that you have yet to experience in secondary school:

1. Conducive lecture areas (for sleeping)
2. Lengthy breaks (for doing more homework)
3. "Specialized" subjects (only to have worst-off grades)
4. Another life (get what i mean)

I am not sure if there are anything else
i think this is basically it..
haha


mmmmm
anyone can think of more irony? XD

=====================================

edit edit:
i am some pseudo-kevin.
trust me, i'm not kevin.
and therefore i have no idea what is the real kevin's blogging style. so i can't post less random and more constructive posts.

and because i am a pseudo-kevin blogging in his name, i have no idea what happened these past two days during his IMCB attachment. all i know was that it was recently changed from protein trafficking in mammalian cells to the human genome. which the real kevin has already done before (i think).

hmm...
sometimes, are things really what they appear to be like on the surface?
like, does a pseudo character really exist?
or do we double- and triple-doubt our own words so much we no longer know what to believe in, and would rather give up thinking about it at all?

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

yay 6 day holiday !!!

Wed, Thurs, Fri: IMCB attachment
Saturday: Parents and Grandparents
Sunday: Outing? Study? Catch-up with work.
Monday: Vesak Day


wheeee

6 days no school

Sunday, May 11, 2008

It is 2258 hours and I blogged

yay
at 2230 hours
on 11th may 2008

i blogged.

(this is something totally random.)

Thursday, May 08, 2008

again...
why has this got to happen again?

my expectations not met
their expectations not met

i didn't know that they have a high expectation of me...
and now ... i degraded and stuff, and kind of disappointed them and myself included

mmmmm

i am not sure myself
what is happening to me?

i know i shouldn't be emo, shouldn't feel sad, shouldn't take it to heart...
i know i shouldn't be brooding over it, crying over it...
yet i still have this down feeling inside me

you might say... you only view yourself in your little world, not knowing that you are just competing with the top... but then.. ask yourself can you help it ? does your environment call for it ?

"You tell me to have confidence in myself, i am telling you not to lose hope in what you KNOW you can do. 2 years from now... we will admire at what you wanted to be in, ok ? "

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

wheeeeeee

thanx !!

Sunday, May 04, 2008

my Sundays....

Sundays are filled with

1. chit-chat
2. stoning
3. music listening
4. newspaper reading
5. failed attempts to do homework
6. sleep or rather napping
7. playing sports

that's all i have been doing on my Sundays for years and years...

heh
i wonder if there's any need for change?

Saturday, May 03, 2008

How to waste 30 minutes

What do you do when you wake up on an MRT train, and see the station that you are supposed to get down just moving away, as in the train just leaving the station?

Because of that, I had 30 minutes to spare

I thought of the following options:

1. Take all the way to Boon Lay and then take back to Clementi
2. Go to Jurong East, walk to IMM, and take the bus from IMM to Clementi MRT
3. Take back to Clementi, and just wait for transport to arrive.

I chose option 3, however, I had 20 minutes left to boot.

So here's what I did:
1. Count the number of taxis queuing up : 8
2. Find the latest car plate you can find (in terms of their letters) : SGF xxxx
3. Listen to music
4. Walk to and fro
5. Think about things you do not normally think about whilst doing work, for example,
Why are places where taxis stop called "taxi stand", and places where buses stop called "bus stop"? Why not "taxi stop"


So basically, after all those... 30 minutes literally flew away.

there are other things which I could do where I was:
1. watch the sky and trace the path taken by certain clouds
2. try to spot birds hidden in trees or the holes in the MRT track
3. count the human traffic
4. go to the mama shop and stare at each sweet
5. find the outlet for the dripping water from buses

follow it if you have to
before you know it.. you just wasted 30 minutes

(disclaimer: I am not responsible for any depression that arises for realizing that time is precious and that 30 minutes have been lost just like that.)