wth

I am speaking this with vent up emotions, but please pardon me for whatever I am saying.

Freaking hell, when can you ever just shut up?
Its like, every week I hear something about studies and shit. Ok not even every week. Every 3 days I am “counseled” about how my studies must take precedence over everything else, not even a day can be set aside for a really fulfilling CIP. F*** you man. Please don’t be so f**king pragmatic will you?
I know you are trying to instill “sense” into me, do you know that your definition of “mature” is just basically to be “pragmatic”? ( On the side note, the post just before this touches briefly on pragmatism )
I am glad and grateful you have made me so, but at the same time please do not overlook the power of emotions and feelings. If everyone was like you, what is trust? Then won’t the world just become suspicious of each other? I am not calling for perfect altruistic utopia, but rather just understand things like “I want to go because I feel for it”. If you believe in such things, then what is a school for? I my as well be in a single class by myself and not mix with anyone else?

One reason why I am not telling you things is because I already know how you react to it, and I do not want to hear it all over again. I might be living in my own illusion and denial, but the problem is you are also living in yours – or at least I think so. Hearing you is like listening to an emo person, seriously… its just freaking depressing to hear you talk. Every little thing ooze with sarcasm and critique, and is devoid of motivation and hope. DO you know the power of motivation? I am trying to make myself self-motivated through various things – my friends, the ones that I love, the ones that I treasure, and my own personal dream(s).

I know I am rude and that you deserve to know what is going on with me. However the thing is I find that “Ignorance is bliss”, and that for you knowing less is bliss to me. This is really sad, but sorry, this is what I feel. If I told you I am going for CIP or for my SEE2 meeting, I will be lectured with the same script all over again.
I think the rest of my holidays should be spent in school or the library.. staying at home just ________.


( btw, Nicholas on the Arena – RI team last speaker – is super cool heh )