Birthday

So now I (and we) are left with 3 papers to go.

Just remembered I was typing this draft before I had to leave it for something else. All I know was this post is 2 days late D:

Was really touched by all the well-wishes (SMS and whatsapp) as well as the surprise celebrations I had, and of course my parents - nope they didn't surprise me but having dinner with them was already sufficient as a present and reminder that I have two awesome family members I could rely on.
I was neither elated nor happy when I opened the door and saw Lutfi with my dance group at late afternoon and then my Hall orientation group camping my room at night. I was simply, flabbergasted?
I did not foresee anyone celebrating for me, there's a reason why I didn't want to put the date up on Facebook. I just didn't feel like telling the whole world when my birthday is. Yes I know it's awkward, you may go "what? it's your birthday leh, your special day". But to me, a birthday is simply any ordinary day, and I can make any day special just by viewing it as special. I am already having special days but having people cook breakfast for me, having a room mate who I can really synchronize with, having a girlfriend who loves me so much yet battling her inner demons, having my parents take care of me but also trying not to disturb me, having friends who randomly come over to my room just to visit me, having friends who would respond to me just makes these days even special.

I am used to not have people celebrate with me other than my parents (and my ex girlfriend - she really loves celebrating haha) I feel other people have other priorities and being examinations there is simply no reason why they should especially come down. Why won't I be ecstatic then? Well I was really astounded and I think I didn't know how to react or respond. I found myself in that stammering clamber for words and the sudden dissipation of the joker in me. I just didn't know how to react but be stunned.

But one thing I realised is this, I am unable to properly entertain guests. I really suck at it. When guests come to my room, I don't know what to say, don't know what to do. Yet I have this feeling to entertain them, because I already have the honour of them coming over especially to my room to visit me, shouldn't I then entertain them in response? Like talking to them at least. I have no food that people will like (my food choices are weird),  have no common games to discuss and don't watch the same dramas/serials that many do. But oh man, I wonder (mainly to dancers who wouldn't be seeing this blog anyway, and my OG group) how I was like when they came into my room. I felt like someone totally different, someone who was soft and quiet and not his usual loud spoken, crappish self.

Oh well.
Maybe that's the real me? And behind all my loud, confident, overbearing voice is someone actually needing affirmation, attention yet scared to appear too eager nor too friendly and not knowing how to handle social situations?

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So examination is over! At least 2 out of 5.
(ok toilet break, I had to dump all my birthday thoughts while the other side is preparing to dump too)
So next week, it will be just 3 days and we will be done with this round on Thursday. 

I think I am camping too much in my room and hall. Have to go outside and absorb some sun and give out some sweat.

And I think I forgot what I wanted to blog about anyway. Ok that's about it.!