City of Angels and the Highway to Hell

It’s been a while (like duh) since I last blogged. Honestly, I felt really touched when people asked about my blog (eh when you going to revive it?). It always feels good to know that someone is indeed interested in your life. I shall start with the standard “updating of my life” kind of thing.

Los Angeles

(Seemingly) Artistic photo taken on the way back

 Went to LA with Matthew, Thanh and Syazana. I’m probably the “outlier” in the group – I don’t usually hang out with them. Nonetheless, that didn’t stop us from enjoying a great time by ourselves. One thing that make groups click is the synergy and spontaneity. While plans should still be made to ensure we do not waste too much time milling around, this doesn’t mean plans can’t be fluid. I must applaud them for being so spontaneous (read Syazana, queen of spontaneity) and providing so much fun. Yet, we were still able to hold some deep conversations which I appreciate a lot as well.

One thing about me planning for trips is this perpetual fear that the itinerary is too boring/tiring. I like it when people show their own desires for the trip – sometimes the word “anything” is quite irritating. I just like this “confirmation” that people are enjoying themselves and by filling the itinerary what they requested is probably the most obvious way to get this confirmation. For instance, Matthew specifically requested to take some photos of some buildings, and Syazana suggested with not coming with 3 of us to Six Flags because she didn’t feel like it. There’s the balance of compromise and assertion, and I didn’t really need to worry if I was over asserting myself and not letting my travel partners have a say in what they do.

It was an interesting trip, which saw us going to Joshua Tree Park, and staying at an AirBnb house that’s in suburbs. The 10-km hike around the Lost Horse Mine Trail is particularly interesting, but not because of the scenery – there were definitely vantage points where we saw just HUGE pieces of land with nothing but sand / rock on it (the only “structural” highlight was an abandoned mine, which was not really inspirational a little bit). What was more interesting is how we walked, and chatted, and simply spend time with each other. It’s basically: even if you are in a middle of a desert, friends (rephrase: the right friends) will make even the most mundane places / task interesting.

Probably one of the few interesting things in Hollywood
*Fanboy*

The owner of the AirBnb house was super friendly, and the accommodation was furnished beyond our expectations. Furthermore, we were allowed access to the kitchen and most of the food there was “free for all”. As it was my first time in an Airbnb, I had no expectations; but they seriously raised the bar of what Airbnb accommodation can provide. Airbnb seems like this: In giving up your freedom (privacy), you gain additional financial freedom as well as social interaction with different people from all around the world. While I don’t foresee Airbnb coming into Singapore homes anytime soon (in fact the later it launches in Singapore the worst it will get as the size of our house is inversely proportionate to time), the idea behind Airbnb is pretty simple, and effective. 

Death Valley

View from Wildrose Peak - second highest point

Death Valley trip was the last trip of the year with my room mate. It could have been the same quartet (me, my room mate Wouter, Sean and Yoshi, a Japanese) but Yoshi couldn't make it. So we got the next best "alternative", Kent, another Japanese, and to add it up Kent and Yoshi are pretty close! 

It's the longest drive, furthest destination, and highest point I have ever been while in US. Death Valley presented a new sort of "challenge" and of course more types of view. Spectacular in terms of sheer mass, and variety - from white crystalline salt to brown barren rock to green shrubs. This is in contrast with Yosemite, which had more vegetation and was more mountainous.
There are other interesting facts about Death Valley that you can read up, and hence I shall not bore you with them (irony intended). However, Death Valley is a place where either you really like it, or you will find it boring. I heard some "bad reviews" about this place, and while it is indeed not somewhere where you can have a laundry list of "things-to-do", I enjoyed myself pretty much while in Death Valley!

Pretty-sight-on-arrival. By the time we reached the motel it was dark. 

The main highlight of this trip though, wasn't the 8.4 mile hike up (add in strong winds which felt as though if you were to jump off the ground you would be displaced horizontally by the wind) but rather the extremely exciting test of wit, adaptability and skill of changing a flat tire and finding a replacement one.
Changing the tire was the simple one, in fact I was surprise as to how intuitive the task actually is. However, because the spare tire was a "doughnut" - it is meant for you to bring your car to the nearest tire shop to get it replaced, we had to find a tire shop. And in the middle of a desert in Nevada, there's not many places with a tire shop. Furthermore, because our Jeep is a very new model (it has a tire specification of P205/70R16), many shops did not stock - even Walmart. And we went all the way to Pahrump only to find that the shops didn't stock, and camped in some random hotel/casino, and then made our way to Las Vegas just to change our tire. And because they didn't have the exact tire specifications, we had to settle for something like P205/70R15 and change both front tires because we can't have a lopsided drive back. And I had to drive at 40 mph (~64 km/h) because that's what was recommended for the doughnut, any higher we have to probably use manpower. Funny thing is, I got so used to driving at 40 mph the moment I had the new tires I was "cruising" at such slow speeds. And now I'm trying to claim money back, but Citibank nor Enterprise were willing to reimburse the $270 ):
But then again, am so glad I'm back in Berkeley.

The flat tire...
Disclaimer: All 4 of us assisted in whatever way we could. And I did the cranking of the tire too, just that because I took this photo I obviously wasn't doing the task xD

This is the Closest to Drunk, that I've ever been

And I don't wanna do anything now..

And all I could do was to sleep in
And all I could feel was to vomit
When sooner or later I woke up
I just realised it's 5 freaking pm

Hope you got the song reference (:
But yea, this is such a fantastic experience I shall blog about it while waiting for dinner (or whatever food that my stomach can take) in 30 minutes.

No worries, I have tons of biofuel in my body in terms of alcohols, this should provide me with lots of energy hehe.

So shame the culprits I shall:
Yuan Ming, Thanh, Jia Rong, Yanling, Theodore, Sey Chee, Leon

But yep, it was a whole hell of fun. Like pure fun. And Sey Chee gets special honourable mention for being so funny and cute (and she just drinks when told to do so without much resistant lol-worthy)
And knowing that you are in a bunch of friends you feel ok to just drink. And I have nothing on in the morning, so hell yea!

But I wasn't entirely drunk though, just having that disoriented feeling. I could walk back to my room unassisted, but Yuan Ming was kindly around in case anything happens. (And of course that random 5am message on the REP whatsapp group, idk but I just saw the first group that I knew Yuan Ming was in and hence I just posted in there)

But it was the aftermath that hit. I think because I wasn't that drunk I did not vomit last night (or this early morning - We stayed till around 4.30am and I slept at 5am) So after lunch (yep I had lunch), my stomach suddenly felt damn weird, and like vomiting. So while trying to have conversations with friends my stomach was feeling like shit. And I don't want to vomit because vomiting is such a terrible and horrendous experience (link to Bangkok trip when I got food poisoning). End up, enough was enough, I just went back to sleep.

So now I am going for dinner.. shall choose my food wisely. No dairy, and no food that's harsh on the stomach. There must be still alcohol in there, waiting to vomit.

But still, I had fun. And this is a good experience.

Random thoughts

Yes! Finally completed an assignment in one day of sitting (ok, I completed the easiest question 1, but managed to tackle the last 3 questions in the afternoon + night).
Frustrating, but nonetheless that sense of achievement is still awesome. There's like the 4 stages of guilt finding an error in your workings:
1. Horror (OMG!)
2. Self-denigration (wts, why am I so toopid?)
3. Denial (am I really wrong? sure or not?)
4. Relent (haiz, just redo ..) OR IDGAF (screw this shit)

So I had the glorious opportunity to experience that roller coaster of emotions multiple times today. Let's say those rides taught me to become more careful and know which are the areas that carelessness breeds.

Other random things:
1. Akin to another post, sometimes I still feel I am on vacation. In the sense, I am still a tourist, just living here for a year.
2. My flatulence smells really different from that in Singapore (idk, I have no clue what caused the change)
3. We are spending hours on assignments that contribute to a measly sum (as low as 0.4%/homework) to our final grades - but they definitely provide more value such as revision and practice
4. I am growing long hair. Like I am now breaking personal records for hair length every day I wake up. Matthew suggests I put on a mullet. It's pretty cool too, I like rockers with rockingly long hair. It just puts an extra cool factor to these people. But idk whether I can pull this off =/
5. We are beginning to fall into a routine
6. Have to resist adding more load into the already packed schedules. Might seem unpacked at times, but that's because "let's do this another time"
7. Still focusing on EWB, and getting inspired to add a continuity back home
8. And focusing on some key friends - not enough time and spare effort to get to know everyone else in a deeper level. This will take time, but I think it will bear fruit.
9. And not forgetting those abroad (home included). Appreciate, communicate and reciprocate.
10. Money outflow >>>>> money inflow
11. Planning trips is both fun, yet mentally exhausting.
12. Still on mousehunt (lol)
13. Stupid US$15 TP-Link wireless adapter is causing more inconvenience than convenience
14. Have to stop getting jealous of others who are more capable (or seemingly). Sometimes it just sucks when you see others who seem to "beat" you in every aspect of your life, it's like shoving the phrase "what have you been doing" down your throat
15. What do I want to be known as?
16. It's getting more and more random the more I type. Probably cause the clock says 12.22AM
17. DOUBLE RAINBOWS! Lazy to post, but it's on insta :D
18. And omg, can you imagine a university which rear cows for dairy as well as butchering? The cows are literally there for you to touch. And I touched cows. Moo~
19. I really like driving. I appreciate whoever who lets me drive. Vroom vroom.
20. H.a.v.e...t.o...s.p.e.a.k...s.l.o.w.e.r... or rather, enunciate my words better.
21. Stay in shape! Can't stress this importance enough. Have to maintain my regime.
22. Supposed to be planning for my 2 trips, which seemed so far away the last time I thought about it, but to think about it they will be made in less than a month's time
23. MY CAREER ): ):
24. Why am I concerning myself with so much stuff?
25. It's awkward in dance clubs when you don't know 90% of the songs =/
26. I think it's time to sleep. My eyes are going to call it a day.

And of course, thanks for reading (:
More smileys (: (: (:
(somehow I have this funny notion that smileys are trademarked by me, and others who use this (: smiley (the bracket first) are infringing my copyright)

Maybe I am actually a hardcore extrovert but I have yet to fully understand it.

From Carina:

Because coming back for people puts a lot of pressure on them, and it can sometimes be disappointing. You realise you're very dispensable. But it also teaches you to be okay. Be okay with the fact that friends, life and all that stuff you use to put so much emphasis on, is actually not that important, and things are fleeting/nothing but momentary.

Succinctly said (ok maybe not so "succinct" as defined by the word). 
But being "okay" is something that I have yet to gripe with. I can say it, I act it out sometimes. But at the very root of it, I still refuse to accept it.

I try. I try sometimes. I try all the time. But the very idea/notion of this just haunts me.

And when you see other people who seem to be "best friends forever", so close, so tight together, I just can't help but be green with envy.

Of course, I made my choices, I have to live with it. But then, when will I be actually "okay"?

And I have to stop "pleasing" everyone. It's really getting tiring. And yes, I am dispensable. But is there such thing as people "on your side"? Isn't it a fact that people will generally not be on my side? I mean, there are so many people more popular/skilled/awesome/funnier/less controversial.

Maybe I am actually a hardcore extrovert but I have yet to fully understand it.

Purchasing the iPhone 5s

What consumed (kind of) my life for the past few days was over in a matter of minutes, or so I thought.
I had a problem, or rather, a new "want". There was no real need, but since I was about to get anyway, why not get it?

So here's the context: My current xiaomi is not getting any data speeds higher than 2G + it's battery life is declining (or so I think).

So I decided, why not just get a new phone and then stick to it. And if I want to get a new phone, let's get a good one, one that would last me 2 years at least.
And so I went about looking for iPhone 5 / 5S.

I thought, how about a second hand phone? As in, it won't be so crappy, and it would still last, because Apple right?

So I looked through Amazon, and then Germaine/Sean showed me this website which acts as a "flea market".

And I bought a second hand iPhone 5S for $450, and to think that I was happier?

Yes I was happy, but several considerations soon popped out:

1. Why was I so weak, and flinching? Should I have said no? The phone wasn't exactly in mint condition, and the front screen has some minor scratches
2. Should I have tried to negotiate more?
3. Shucks, now there are some things that Android has that iOS doesn't (think of widgets in home screen)
4. Should I have just spent the extra $150 (that's about 33% more) and bought a new fresh phone from Apple store?
5. Should I have risked and took a gamble and bought the iPhone 5S from Amazon which claimed to be in better condition and provided even the earphones - all for the same price?
6. Do I even need to get the phone in the first place?
7. Why not just get iPhone 5 instead of 5S? Do I really need that?

All the more I tried to pacify myself and fight the cognitive dissonance, the more I realised how contradictory I have become. Have I become so materialistic? Am I really someone who wants to always "win", as in trying to get the best of both worlds? 
Ugh... I have to stop and just accept my decisions.
I have made so many decisions, which only after "experiencing" it, then I realise my decisions were wrong. And thing is, I could have thought of it....

Ugh... 

The road ahead.

To improve my resume try out something new that Singapore does not seem to have (keyword "seem": I recently learnt of a club in NUS that also offers "consulting" services to companies in Singapore. In addition, there are marketing clubs in Singapore that have also established links with private companies. Just that probably these clubs are reserved for the super-elite or I just didn't bother/couldn't find them), I decided to apply for Imagical (a marketing group) and Berkeley Consulting (a consulting group) as they are both interesting and I am willing to invest 24/7 onto them.
However, my practical side sounded some alarms - a particularly strong one in fact: we (me and REP people) are only here for one year, and they (the clubs) will probably want members who can stay with them for as long as possible. Nonetheless, the defensive pessimist (or is it optimist/perseverant?) decided to try and apply for it, what's there to lose?

Lo and behold, all I got was some computer generated email from both sides:

Thank you for applying to Berkeley Consulting. Unfortunately, due to the competitive nature of the selection process, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for a first round interview with Berkeley Consulting. 

I want to assure you that we considered your candidacy carefully and that it was a very difficult deliberation process given the number of extremely qualified applicants we received this semester.

Kind of expected, but this certainly was a direct stab in a heart. I mean, why don't you just provide me with an interview? Ok, maybe they have prevented me from wasting my time, but isn't this a good chance for you to use the interview to get to know other willing people? Ugh, oh well. My stubborn self made me waste 2 nights of my life (which could have been used for squash and homework).

Also, I have decided not to join the Squash team. Nope, I am not going to stop playing Squash, but I won't fork out the $300 required to be in the team. The $300 covers transport and some team outfits, but I feel that it will only be worth it if I get to play in competition. I know I am not up to par, but can't I wish for it sometimes? Well, squash to me is my "best relative" game, the one with the highest "comparative advantage". For the befuddled, there are significantly many more pros in badminton and basketball, the other sports that I can (defined as being able to engage in some level of game without having to spend much time picking balls) play, as compared to squash. 15 people will be recruited into the team, and I think I can make it to the team. But only the top 10 will be given the opportunity to play in competitions with other schools, and from my observations I definitely will not be able to make it - even if I mugged squash every night. C'mon an opportunity to travel around US and play with other people? That's like once in a lifetime experience + there's so many perks to it.. all for $300? (+ some possible extra fees) That's a real steal!

So what's my plan now. I am definitely not someone who is fine with doing nothing - I have come all the way here, and I have decided not to pick up the 150B course that the 10 other chemical engineer classmates have picked up = more free time more me!

But again, that quote still stays: You can do anything, but not everything.
After some rumination, here's a condensed list:

• Make some good international friends. Everyone can be a friend - it's pretty easy to make friends. But 99% (I'm exaggerating the numbers) of these people will be relegated to hi-bye friends. While we should maintain contact with people back home, now is a good chance to develop strong friendships with other people from around the world.
• Travel (and drive hehe) around California to appease my nature loving self
• Better my squash (I got a new racquet :D) - I will try to make it better so I can at least play properly back in NTU. Shoutout to Yu Rong and Leon who would probably be my squash buddies this year.
• Work extra hard in the Engineers Without Borders chapter in Berkeley. 

I think I should stop being a "jack of all trades", and try to master something, or at least be decently better than what I am now. Realised I have to play catch-up to simply too many things. 

Side note:

~$180. Vans for $30 (:

Went shopping at Livermore Outlet and here's my loot. Honestly I should have brought clothes so I don't need to buy. But that Gap T shirt was like USD$4, so why not? XD
and I think the pair of Vans was a splurge, but I probably need the other shoes. In fact I'm wearing the Columbia shoes now to break into them. And I realised I am a US 7.5 feet.
But I have to get more stuff - for the more "official" and "officy" look. Omg, I saw my watch for sale, but it wasn't on discount ): I actually thought it was out of season, as I last checked the online catalog it was absent - and it still is ):
And leather shoes. And a cardigan. (omg, shopaholic me)


And below is a random anvil I saw at a car workshop. Can you believe that there's an "F1" team in United States, where students actually build cars (some even built their own engines) and race? Like.. How cool is that? Joan would certainly love this ;)
 

Always see them in virtual games.

 

Reflections 2 weeks late

*Cue nice music*

Yes Sean, yes Joan ... This is certainly due. And I shall dive straight into it - and this time with little or no organisation. Anything that comes into my mind will be placed without significant rearrangements.

Here are some things that I picked up:

1. The word "big" just grew bigger when you travel from Singapore to US
2. There's just so much land everywhere you go
3. And animals too. Mooo. Mehhhh... *insert deer sound*
4. Air is significantly drier, and weather is cooler - but still bearable and in fact it's like permanent air-conditioning -> this means my feet is constantly wet (I have "sweaty palms and feet" in cold weather)
5. Everyone here is good in something, and when they are good, they are really good. Puts me into shame -> what am I doing with my life?
6. There's really so many cultures and other people in the world. The world is like FKING huge?
7. It's one thing to know, understand and read about; and another to experience it in full blast in your face
8. There are many Koreans in International House as well, we can probably fight with the Korean contingent
9. The system here supports alot of recycling, but somehow, paradoxically, some people do not bear the "recycling" or "save the earth" mentality. It's like you have recycle bins, we do drop in the food into compost bins and plastic bottles into the recycling bin for plastics, but we do not cut down on the initial consumption... It's like we have NEWater but we still waste water nonetheless
10. I like this campus because it makes people walk, and walk alot. It's like walking from Hall 11 to Can A everytime -> not too far, but not that near.
11. There is an epic fitness culture here, almost everyone is doing something related to health/fitness I think one can easily catch the fitness bug. It's all about making the decision to get out of the room, through the cool/cold air, into the sports facilities, and sweating it out and getting into shape. The sports facilities are almost always crowded with people. They might not be 80-90% occupied, but at least 40-50% full at ALL times - including off peak periods like mornings and mid day.
12. Making friends is 'easy', but actually creating a bonded relationship - that requires some effort. I think one can be easily "overwhelmed" with the number of "friends" you can have.
13. A term is coined: socialising saturation point / friendship saturation point
14. There are 2 ways to spend this time in CA, US:
• Do different things with the same people to deepen the relationship
• Do different things with different people to expand your circle
15. There's really so much thing to do and so little time.. which leads to
16. This quote: You can do anything, but you can't do everything.
17. Now I have to find things that lie in the "I want" & "I can" quadrant. Joining the established clubs just mean one thing: selection. And that's tough.
18. Now distance is calculated in hours, rather than just minutes.
19. Relatively laggy internet -> boo ):
20. More 花草树木 ;)
21. Simply more experiences lie ahead. Make a choice, and work with it. Grass is always greener on the other side, but be thankful that you have the opportunity to be where you are at the moment.
22. I like wearing caps + hoodies -> Gonna have a new style yo~ wassup~
23. And finally, more self actualisation. Who am I?

Yosemite

That's pretty much about it. Time to go for lunch then class ~

Thanks Clara for this wonderful photo.
I pretty much look like this everyday.

So she is now away. Challenge accepted.

And now, I am faced with several decisions.
Do I take the path least travelled? Or shall I search for other unbeaten tracks? Do I even have the courage to take on the path least travelled? Seems like I have been born with the silver spoon all the while, and all I have to do is to comply. But when I don't, disagreements will surface. Now what?

What do I actually want in life?
Financial freedom. Self-fulfillment. Mental stimulation. Health.

And how do I re-evaluate my friendships? Have I been too greedy, or probably overly confident of myself in my abilities? Could there be more one-sided relationships than I have thought?

The prospect of graduation and working is looming. 2 years left to go. Some planning must certainly start now.

Inspiration from old friend

If you think you are good, you are dead. Always keep learning.

Businessmen always go to where there are more successful people to learn from.

And sometimes, all you need is belief. If you truly believe in something, you will go all out for it.

Prophase I

So now is the short interim phase before that long phase overseas.
But I got 2 new things, ok.. 3 (including a mouse which I kinda bought on the fly right after exams, with the reason being me being unable to throw a grenade with the broken middle mouse button of my previous mouse, .. but the new mouse only costs $10 so... can pardon me hor? xD)

1. Bought a new Xiaomi Redmi phone.. which isn't red in colour because the red ones were sold out. Needed a relatively budget phone to replace my previous Ace 2 phone which had a black LCD tumour that was growing at the bottom left. Initially it consisted of a short line of dead pixels, but the disease spread and now the spot is practically as big as my thumb.

2. Finally was able to get an internship. And yep, can't say much about what I am doing because... classified (lol, joking), but rather I don't really know what I am doing yet. All I know I would be given a project to do, but what it will be about (and what I have to do) is still unknown.

So yea, life changes so quickly. Everyone is now either overseas, working, or not working. (lol like duh). And I am now thrown into the 8am - 5pm work cycle, and being a worker again.

Now to see if I would be willing to work in such an environment.