my body seems to be cracking up these days
after all those exercises which I put myself through - and they are not that strenous in the first place - and I am coming back with injuries, or rather side effects:
My knee are painful when i exert anything on it, especially after a good run - which I did this morning. The run wasn't even fast, it was rather a jog, and that made me surprise since all these while I do not receive any problems until now.
My wrist also experienced some pain near the wristbone, such that whenever I push something with my palm 90 degrees, I will experience a low but sharp acute pain at the bone. I dont know why, maybe due to my usage of computers? But I have been using computers for so long and I do not experience such problem, and I normally will take rests during my usage.
My ankle, well old injury that seems to be coming back again.
Maybe I should stay away from running for the time being. Running is known - actually it is - to be high impact, especially on our knees and ankle. I should go to swimming then.. but once the recruits come, it will be back to running again. Oh well, I hope I can heal up and recover again! Gosh I really miss my old powerhouse body - not that it is very good compared to the pros, but I think its considerably good haha.
Oh well, I hope my body's fine. I don't want it to break down, I cant la. 19 years old? .. zzz
Monday, November 01, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
So.. now begins my countdown to ORD?
So.. now begins my countdown to ORD? At least 12 more months to go, 1 freaking whole year to spend in this camp at tekong. >.<
There has been alot of complains so far - from the ulu-ness (4k inside?) to the seemingly lack-of facilities to dirty bunks and other places. (sidenote: I have even referred ourselves as being part of the appendix in any directive or structural change in BMT) But over time, our own analysis has kind of turned these grievances to cheers - from being left alone and untouched by main HQ to having found sufficient facilities and being able to adapt our activities to the place (like playing squash or badminton in the afternoon instead of at night) to doing mass clean-ups of our residences. Furthermore, talking with other friends of mine in main camp has also enlightened me to my relatively better and more desirable situation.
This has made me realise 1 thing, or rather deepened the understanding that no matter how much you complain, there would always be someone worst off than you. You can either compare with someone worst off and feel better or compare with someone better off and feel worst.
In fact, I feel that the inherent point is there is no use comparing yourself with anyone else, since it is just mainly a feel-good or feel-bad gesture. If you try to show how deep in shit you are in, you are mainly just trying to "show off" and hence gain people's sympathies. That is not going to change anything at all! That is not going to improve your situation, in fact it makes it worst as you would have told your mind to tell yourself that "I am in shit". The phrase, "When life gives you lemons you make lemonade" really plays it out now. Of course, "When life puts you in ulu-ness you enjoy the surreal peace here".
Anyway, that aside, I have a full one year ahead of me. My parents have been pestering me to do stuff and not idle away my life. Well, I replied, "I do have plans". And as I predicted, "You are not showing anything" was their reply. Well, I do have plans. But I just feel like taking it one step at a time.
1) Get my driving license
2) Learn guitar - like from basics. I don't even have a single slight music ability.
3) Read up a bit on A-Level physics
4) Give tuition (to earn extra income)
5) Pursue my higher education wishes
6) Strengthen my physical abilities
7) Possibly pick up new sports like squash or continue with my badminton. Basketball is a must though :)
8) Read more books
I don't know, its my way to do it one at a time. At least I want to finish my driving license first. I want to do it in one clean shot, finish it and not having to think about passing the test again.
Is this debate in fact about our changes in thinking? My parents want to see something. I promise I will do it. They don't see it today. They won't see it tomorrow. Then next week they will see me again and ask again. I tell them construction in progress. They harp again. Ok I shall not use the word "harp", but rather "remind". Maybe I should be doing stuff now? Maybe not, I just can't get my mind of my driving. Confident I may be, but I am also equally worried. Oh well...
Anyway, changes are inevitable, and there are changes to my life already.
Our weekly meet-ups will be more infrequent and un-predictable as tuition has ended. Furthermore, my perm-staff status in NS and her increasing (never-ending) workload will definitely throw a spanner to the works of our relationship.
In addition, I will be meeting new people and will possibly be seeing less of my NS mates whom I have spent a good 6 months with already - and have found a good bond with some.
Our weekly meet-ups will be more infrequent and un-predictable as tuition has ended. Furthermore, my perm-staff status in NS and her increasing (never-ending) workload will definitely throw a spanner to the works of our relationship.
In addition, I will be meeting new people and will possibly be seeing less of my NS mates whom I have spent a good 6 months with already - and have found a good bond with some.
I am also now placed in the commander's position, and with power comes great responsibility - literally. From basic discipline of the recruits to training them with the right skills to handling tough medical and psychological cases of the recruits. Even though it could sound as easy as to just refer the recruit to the appropriate higher authority, it will require some skill and experience to be able to discover and pry open such secrets and information that others might find undesirable to be shared.
Oh well, changes are undesirable in the sense they disrupt our sense of comfort in predictability. When we know what lies ahead we will feel safe. With a foggy horizon we will lack even a sense of direction and that immediately propel us in fear - that's natural human instinct anyway. But then, with humans being humans equipped with the power of creativity and the mind, one have to translate this fear into a form of curiousity - which is a positive feeling. And yes, to the sense, hones our adaptability. I won't deny that I did complain and whine about such changes, but I know that I will use this to analyse myself better, to understand what is inside me. Whether I can in fact command recruits, earn their respect and also, interact with other people - literally. I really can't wait to get my first batch of standard BMT - not trying to put them down but rather one must concede that they have other forms of thinking and perspective? So yes.. can't wait!
So yes, this is alot of writing. I just decided to sit down and blog. alot. Well, it has been a blog drought and deciding to just stop playing some games - ok I did played some games which interrupted this posting - to do something other than gaming. At least blogging enables me to put down what is on my mind these few days. >.<
Yes.
Thanks for reading :)
Tuesday, October 05, 2010
there is more than it meets the eye
the quote "never judge a book by its cover" comes pretty true - at least at Rocky Hill Camp.
Initially, we entered the place with much disgust at its utter ulu-ness and rural-ity. But now we have pretty much settled in this place :) You just need a bit of adventure and exploring, and you will be able to at least find some tiny jewels here and there!
Haha... so yep. I can't wait for my recruits to come. Alot of questions are waiting in my head to be answered...
Initially, we entered the place with much disgust at its utter ulu-ness and rural-ity. But now we have pretty much settled in this place :) You just need a bit of adventure and exploring, and you will be able to at least find some tiny jewels here and there!
Haha... so yep. I can't wait for my recruits to come. Alot of questions are waiting in my head to be answered...
Monday, September 13, 2010
Starlight
Not the song from Muse, neither is it 星亮 in Chinese.
It is 星光 in Chinese, and it is not as pretty as what you admire in the midnight skies.
It represented the last hurdle of my training, the toughest training we would ever have for the past 6 months.
It is an open secret, but I am still not supposed to be saying what I am going to say, so I have to keep mum about it. =/
It has been tiring weeks away from the creature comforts - or whatever make do we can - that reside in our sheltered nests at home. Firstly, you are literally cut off from the world. Be it being set back by 21 episodes of 爱, or not knowing that NSFs are given some $$ to their Medisave, or not knowing that it is Mooncake Festival coming soon. Secondly, you only care about one weather which in the end - I don't know whether to say it was a pity or a blessing - did not arrive. (I have this sadistical yet innocent like a child's curiousity to have a first hand experience at some natural disasters, well you won't get that in Singapore won't you?) Thirdly, you have hardly a proper day's rest between each of the sub-exercises. Worst still, the going gets tougher. Lastly, you have great sadistical enjoyment soaking in the screwed up weather - where it gets scorching hot and dry in the morning and cold, windy and wet in the afternoon + offering ur body and blood to the 101 insects (now the phrase "流血汗" has a new meaning)
But there were some lessons I learnt:
1. Your body is tougher than you think it is. Despite the unruly weather, most of us got away without falling ill - in fact bodily injury was more common than sickness.
2. When the going gets tough, it is a battle between your will and despair - and you are not alone.
3. Take care of yourself first, because if you don't no one else will take care of you in the end. Of course I am not saying to be selfish, but don't do silly things like bring lesser underwear.
4. Sometimes you need to be flexible, and at the same time having contigency plans to cover your own ass if need be.
5. Empty vessels make the most noise.
Up for you how you comprehend the 5 statements - there are the good, bad and ugly. Especially with the experienced talking alot of things but not moving.
When it came to R&R, that was the fun part - or rather not so fun. I tried most of the food that I set out to try: 臭豆腐 (smelly toufu), 鸡排 (chicken cutlet), oyster meesua, 牛肉面 (beef noodles) and 奶茶 (milk tea). Well some of the food already exist in Singapore - commonly sold by Shilin Street Snacks and other drink stations - but I wanted to taste for myself the original! And what a blast it was! Haha now I taste Singapore 奶茶 with a pinch of .. salt? heh
too bad Tsai said the smelly toufu not smelly hence not authentic enough - I agree though. I thought it would be some interesting taste but it ended up just like another piece of toufu that seemed to have grown lots of holes.
I also think my chilli tolerance has possibly increased? Good news for many I hope - but still I won't willingly take chilli. I think chilli robs the natural taste of the food la, and leaves the tingly sensation on ur tongue >.<
Anyway, most of taiwan's chinese is in traditional form, hence hindering my attempts to comprehend them with my already broken Chinese language rawr! But then I managed to help Syamil converse with the locals now and then, way to go Kevin! :) I think my Chinese might have also improved heh.
I bought a nice short sleeve shirt for myself at 伍份. I think its like one of my maiden spending on myself? Well it was nice and I felt I looked good inside and since I am on R&R and since I am already 19 and since I have no nice clothes so why not just get 1 shirt? Besides we bargained and it was for a neat below SG$25!
I think my most fun trip was to Shilin la. The food there, actually the night market resembled our own hawker centre - where all the shops almost sell the same thing and first-time travellers can only discern the good and bad by the number of customers (my standard way of finding which is better) eating. Well isn't that skill similiar to queueing up at the longest queue in Singapore? Also I went to ride a mechanical bull - waiting for Syamil to upload it heh. wa got tossed around like mad, especially with a first-timer like me who don't even know what to expect. But it was maddening good fun, and a 3-day leg ache at the thighs.
overall, maybe cuz i am Chinese hence I did not really get a culture shock when I entered Taiwan. But one culture difference that is quite distinct is that Taiwanese generally dont let you try their clothes (applicable to road-side shops la) on, only allow you to compare to ur body but not physically put it on.
the R&R was indeed a good holiday, a good 3-day reward for our 17 day chiong-suaing :)
It is 星光 in Chinese, and it is not as pretty as what you admire in the midnight skies.
It represented the last hurdle of my training, the toughest training we would ever have for the past 6 months.
It is an open secret, but I am still not supposed to be saying what I am going to say, so I have to keep mum about it. =/
It has been tiring weeks away from the creature comforts - or whatever make do we can - that reside in our sheltered nests at home. Firstly, you are literally cut off from the world. Be it being set back by 21 episodes of 爱, or not knowing that NSFs are given some $$ to their Medisave, or not knowing that it is Mooncake Festival coming soon. Secondly, you only care about one weather which in the end - I don't know whether to say it was a pity or a blessing - did not arrive. (I have this sadistical yet innocent like a child's curiousity to have a first hand experience at some natural disasters, well you won't get that in Singapore won't you?) Thirdly, you have hardly a proper day's rest between each of the sub-exercises. Worst still, the going gets tougher. Lastly, you have great sadistical enjoyment soaking in the screwed up weather - where it gets scorching hot and dry in the morning and cold, windy and wet in the afternoon + offering ur body and blood to the 101 insects (now the phrase "流血汗" has a new meaning)
But there were some lessons I learnt:
1. Your body is tougher than you think it is. Despite the unruly weather, most of us got away without falling ill - in fact bodily injury was more common than sickness.
2. When the going gets tough, it is a battle between your will and despair - and you are not alone.
3. Take care of yourself first, because if you don't no one else will take care of you in the end. Of course I am not saying to be selfish, but don't do silly things like bring lesser underwear.
4. Sometimes you need to be flexible, and at the same time having contigency plans to cover your own ass if need be.
5. Empty vessels make the most noise.
Up for you how you comprehend the 5 statements - there are the good, bad and ugly. Especially with the experienced talking alot of things but not moving.
When it came to R&R, that was the fun part - or rather not so fun. I tried most of the food that I set out to try: 臭豆腐 (smelly toufu), 鸡排 (chicken cutlet), oyster meesua, 牛肉面 (beef noodles) and 奶茶 (milk tea). Well some of the food already exist in Singapore - commonly sold by Shilin Street Snacks and other drink stations - but I wanted to taste for myself the original! And what a blast it was! Haha now I taste Singapore 奶茶 with a pinch of .. salt? heh
too bad Tsai said the smelly toufu not smelly hence not authentic enough - I agree though. I thought it would be some interesting taste but it ended up just like another piece of toufu that seemed to have grown lots of holes.
I also think my chilli tolerance has possibly increased? Good news for many I hope - but still I won't willingly take chilli. I think chilli robs the natural taste of the food la, and leaves the tingly sensation on ur tongue >.<
Anyway, most of taiwan's chinese is in traditional form, hence hindering my attempts to comprehend them with my already broken Chinese language rawr! But then I managed to help Syamil converse with the locals now and then, way to go Kevin! :) I think my Chinese might have also improved heh.
I bought a nice short sleeve shirt for myself at 伍份. I think its like one of my maiden spending on myself? Well it was nice and I felt I looked good inside and since I am on R&R and since I am already 19 and since I have no nice clothes so why not just get 1 shirt? Besides we bargained and it was for a neat below SG$25!
I think my most fun trip was to Shilin la. The food there, actually the night market resembled our own hawker centre - where all the shops almost sell the same thing and first-time travellers can only discern the good and bad by the number of customers (my standard way of finding which is better) eating. Well isn't that skill similiar to queueing up at the longest queue in Singapore? Also I went to ride a mechanical bull - waiting for Syamil to upload it heh. wa got tossed around like mad, especially with a first-timer like me who don't even know what to expect. But it was maddening good fun, and a 3-day leg ache at the thighs.
overall, maybe cuz i am Chinese hence I did not really get a culture shock when I entered Taiwan. But one culture difference that is quite distinct is that Taiwanese generally dont let you try their clothes (applicable to road-side shops la) on, only allow you to compare to ur body but not physically put it on.
the R&R was indeed a good holiday, a good 3-day reward for our 17 day chiong-suaing :)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
catching up
catching up.. is really something that fuel's a human need: social interaction.
also, it is really nice (like .. nice) to talk to good old friends, especially with relationships that have lasted years.
yes..
so good!
also, it is really nice (like .. nice) to talk to good old friends, especially with relationships that have lasted years.
yes..
so good!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
YOG
watching the YOG opening ceremony now.
I can't say I am impressed, because I am not really impressed. Yes we are praised for our logistical genius and I can concede with that, but for our creativity, there is still much room for improvement.
But something more compelling which drove me to comment is the country presentation. Basically the last part - the most important part - is the showcase of all the participating countries. I know it is difficult to coordinate with hundreds of athletes, but this segment should be almost picture perfect. It is atrocious to see youths walking around with their flag trying to find their respective placard with their country's name. Why can't they pause to let the athlete wave their flag for a while, to take in the audience, before walking away to form up at their positions? It is disrespectful to the flag, and doesn't mean they are youths the importance and solemnity of the flag should be undermined. To quote a sgt, fast is slow, and slow is fast. Why bother walking so fast when the flagbearer cannot catch up, hence making it quite disorganised.
However, I must say it was quite an eye-opener. In some ways I felt that the YOG had more emphasis than the NDP, in terms of the more elaborate costumes and performance. What is more satisfying is the filled up seats of not Singaporeans but rather people from 205 countries. Also I like the fact that youths from different countries were roped in for the performances, which (my vocab is failing) demonstrates the spirit of YOG. Also, I like the water-ed part of the platform, adds quite nice effects and enhances the visual feast.
Personally, I did not understand some of the performance in the YOG, especially why the involvement of so many little children in the performances. Ok I agree that some children can be involved to add some "young blood", but then this is a YOG not a COG? =/ maybe I am just being too particular.
The last part, especially the official torch lighting segment, was dramatic and hence exciting. I liked the super lit boat, and the running down of the torch bearer, and of course it was a good choice to give Darren, since he has been two time champion and hence "worthy" of it :)
In general, I am quite proud that Singapore managed to get the hosting rights for this inaugural YOG. it will seriously put Singapore on the world map, and it is one big advertising feature to youths - the future spenders and leaders. Also we get to know quite a number of less-known countries too - well we were one before weren't we?
I can't say I am impressed, because I am not really impressed. Yes we are praised for our logistical genius and I can concede with that, but for our creativity, there is still much room for improvement.
But something more compelling which drove me to comment is the country presentation. Basically the last part - the most important part - is the showcase of all the participating countries. I know it is difficult to coordinate with hundreds of athletes, but this segment should be almost picture perfect. It is atrocious to see youths walking around with their flag trying to find their respective placard with their country's name. Why can't they pause to let the athlete wave their flag for a while, to take in the audience, before walking away to form up at their positions? It is disrespectful to the flag, and doesn't mean they are youths the importance and solemnity of the flag should be undermined. To quote a sgt, fast is slow, and slow is fast. Why bother walking so fast when the flagbearer cannot catch up, hence making it quite disorganised.
However, I must say it was quite an eye-opener. In some ways I felt that the YOG had more emphasis than the NDP, in terms of the more elaborate costumes and performance. What is more satisfying is the filled up seats of not Singaporeans but rather people from 205 countries. Also I like the fact that youths from different countries were roped in for the performances, which (my vocab is failing) demonstrates the spirit of YOG. Also, I like the water-ed part of the platform, adds quite nice effects and enhances the visual feast.
Personally, I did not understand some of the performance in the YOG, especially why the involvement of so many little children in the performances. Ok I agree that some children can be involved to add some "young blood", but then this is a YOG not a COG? =/ maybe I am just being too particular.
The last part, especially the official torch lighting segment, was dramatic and hence exciting. I liked the super lit boat, and the running down of the torch bearer, and of course it was a good choice to give Darren, since he has been two time champion and hence "worthy" of it :)
In general, I am quite proud that Singapore managed to get the hosting rights for this inaugural YOG. it will seriously put Singapore on the world map, and it is one big advertising feature to youths - the future spenders and leaders. Also we get to know quite a number of less-known countries too - well we were one before weren't we?
Monday, August 09, 2010
NDP
watching NDP with my parents now
must say this year's one is quite big, and destructive - millions of grass of the Padang kena trampled on
I do not quite like the new song, well its an attempt to be "relevant" and hence such a modern song, but hey sorry I still settle for the old catchy "Count on me Singapore", "Stand up for Singapore" and "Home" songs, those are more closer to my heart, maybe because they were taught to me in Primary School? Haha.
But anyway, with my entry into NS I now understand abit more of the parade proceedings, including the Malay commands and the parade proceedings. I could also show off my knowledge to my parents on the various weaponry system that the Army has =)
Looking at the various performers, sometimes I wish I could also participate in one parade, like being on stage or backstage. Or maybe part of the videos that they show. Somehow every year they supposedly get hundreds of people but I am not chosen? Why ah? I have heard about how tough the various rehearsals are, but then what things aren't tough? My POP parade from BMT was also pretty tough but at the end of it the satisfaction is still fulfilling! .. mmm
Anyway, regarding this year's theme about Dreams, Father posed me that question. Personally, my current dream is mainly to have a great healthy family with us having enough to be contented. No need lavish, but just enough to live happily, and possibly afford some holidays now and then. But then my short term dream, I still really don't know - you can tell from my current inaction. Maybe I have yet to mature, maybe I have yet to grow up? I hope my 2 years in NS can show me the light.
Then what is your dream?
must say this year's one is quite big, and destructive - millions of grass of the Padang kena trampled on
I do not quite like the new song, well its an attempt to be "relevant" and hence such a modern song, but hey sorry I still settle for the old catchy "Count on me Singapore", "Stand up for Singapore" and "Home" songs, those are more closer to my heart, maybe because they were taught to me in Primary School? Haha.
But anyway, with my entry into NS I now understand abit more of the parade proceedings, including the Malay commands and the parade proceedings. I could also show off my knowledge to my parents on the various weaponry system that the Army has =)
Looking at the various performers, sometimes I wish I could also participate in one parade, like being on stage or backstage. Or maybe part of the videos that they show. Somehow every year they supposedly get hundreds of people but I am not chosen? Why ah? I have heard about how tough the various rehearsals are, but then what things aren't tough? My POP parade from BMT was also pretty tough but at the end of it the satisfaction is still fulfilling! .. mmm
Anyway, regarding this year's theme about Dreams, Father posed me that question. Personally, my current dream is mainly to have a great healthy family with us having enough to be contented. No need lavish, but just enough to live happily, and possibly afford some holidays now and then. But then my short term dream, I still really don't know - you can tell from my current inaction. Maybe I have yet to mature, maybe I have yet to grow up? I hope my 2 years in NS can show me the light.
Then what is your dream?
updates!
wow, its been almost a month since I last blogged. I am sure some people would have missed me greatly :)
many things have happened in this short span of time
like for instance my intelligence has dropped (ok I have been musing about this, but it has really happened - ask my friends)
I have also finished all but one key event for my SGT training - including the uber Grandslam and 32km CSB march. I tell you, one have no slightest idea how the heck one could even walk that 32km with the 15kg load on your body. It was really a mind over body challenge, where at the first 4km you were so shag you could tell yourself to give up, but somehow you made it to see the day (cuz we marched from 2000 to 0300)
I hope that my training in ROC would be the same, shag but I will somehow pull it through - well many have done it already what - and then rightfully earn my SGT rank and my pay increase :D
And with the pay increase, it will be when my amount spent < amount earned = savings! :D
anyway watching Ai now, wahaha. yes its an auntie show but practically my whole family (ok its only 3 people to begin with) is watching it and this is probably one of the rare times i watched the Sunday episode in full - cuz I have to book in by 2130 on sunday most of the time? <3 long weekend breaks!
and ya I listened to the national day speech and of cuz this is a happy national day cuz I have a long weekend break? Thanks SAF :) i think i deserved it =/
and ya, where did lai jialing go! oh man why are the pretty girls so stupid? for jialing, its like duh ur husband is an asshole and such a loser why do you still bother sticking with him? must be stupidity is proportionate to her prettiness sia. (I think shuhua also nt too bad, and she's pretty dumb too)
ok ai is pretty much a show that can go on and on, I think its like a show that dictate the lives of a few families for pretty much past few years lol. always got new plots, and mainly cuz of the stupid people. zzz
anyway, it has been .. 6 months into army life already. you are learning quite alot, in terms of perspectives. sometimes you wish you could believe certain people, but then there will always be this so called 'practical', 'self-centred' nature that will always be the devil advocate, making you turn a deaf ear against them. and also, you have to learn to "defend" yourself sometimes, cuz there's something called limits (in chiem terms - donor fatigue)
and also, it has also been 6 months since army came between us. glad we have some backdoor access now and then :) wheee, hope it can be maintained this way, and I hope you do not feel any less neglected by me, for it is sometimes Hobson's choice la :P.. remember its still a test eh?
so ya, been idling around alot. I need to get back to work regarding my tertiary education. there have to be that spark in me, but where is it?
many things have happened in this short span of time
like for instance my intelligence has dropped (ok I have been musing about this, but it has really happened - ask my friends)
I have also finished all but one key event for my SGT training - including the uber Grandslam and 32km CSB march. I tell you, one have no slightest idea how the heck one could even walk that 32km with the 15kg load on your body. It was really a mind over body challenge, where at the first 4km you were so shag you could tell yourself to give up, but somehow you made it to see the day (cuz we marched from 2000 to 0300)
I hope that my training in ROC would be the same, shag but I will somehow pull it through - well many have done it already what - and then rightfully earn my SGT rank and my pay increase :D
And with the pay increase, it will be when my amount spent < amount earned = savings! :D
anyway watching Ai now, wahaha. yes its an auntie show but practically my whole family (ok its only 3 people to begin with) is watching it and this is probably one of the rare times i watched the Sunday episode in full - cuz I have to book in by 2130 on sunday most of the time? <3 long weekend breaks!
and ya I listened to the national day speech and of cuz this is a happy national day cuz I have a long weekend break? Thanks SAF :) i think i deserved it =/
and ya, where did lai jialing go! oh man why are the pretty girls so stupid? for jialing, its like duh ur husband is an asshole and such a loser why do you still bother sticking with him? must be stupidity is proportionate to her prettiness sia. (I think shuhua also nt too bad, and she's pretty dumb too)
ok ai is pretty much a show that can go on and on, I think its like a show that dictate the lives of a few families for pretty much past few years lol. always got new plots, and mainly cuz of the stupid people. zzz
anyway, it has been .. 6 months into army life already. you are learning quite alot, in terms of perspectives. sometimes you wish you could believe certain people, but then there will always be this so called 'practical', 'self-centred' nature that will always be the devil advocate, making you turn a deaf ear against them. and also, you have to learn to "defend" yourself sometimes, cuz there's something called limits (in chiem terms - donor fatigue)
and also, it has also been 6 months since army came between us. glad we have some backdoor access now and then :) wheee, hope it can be maintained this way, and I hope you do not feel any less neglected by me, for it is sometimes Hobson's choice la :P.. remember its still a test eh?
so ya, been idling around alot. I need to get back to work regarding my tertiary education. there have to be that spark in me, but where is it?
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