30 habits to break before 30

Currently in a middle of a crisis at work. No worries, there were no explosions, no deaths. No human casualties, just profit (and scorecard) casualties. 

But it's also a good time to reflect on myself, and my working habits, and me in general. 


Shan't go into details - as I just decided to post this while taking a break from work. However, came across this Business Insider article (I think it might be "divine intervention), and thought, why not do a tracking of this for myself?

Habit to Break	Current Status
Living for the weekends.	[In progress]
Supporting fast fashion.	[CLEARED] Nope, I don’t like to support fast fashion. On the contrary, I think I don’t have enough clothes :P
Thinking social smoking is ‘OK.’	[CLEARED] Nope, don’t smoke.
Clinging on to friendships that have run their course.	[In progress] First I need to see which friendships have “run their course”
Not having a bed time.	[In progress] Now my bed time is defined by how tired I feel, not defined by a habit.
Thinking that you can rely on your metabolism to keep weight off.	[In progress] So guilty of this…. Right now my metabolism is still in good shape.
Drinking cheap wine.	[CLEARED] I think I’m choosy enough for the alcohol I drink, and I drink with friends who know their alcohol (:
Taking special moments with friends for granted.	[In progress] Trying my best. But not sure if I’ve achieved what this statement entails
Compromising on what you deserve in a relationship.	[In progress] What do I deserve?
Doing things because you think you ‘should.’	[In progress] Technically I’m never forced to do things. But then again, how do I discern between “should” and “want”?
Putting your physical health before your mental health.	[CLEARED] I think I’m ok with this. I’m ok with all the physical health habits that I’ve been putting myself through.
Fad diets.	[CLEARED] What are fad diets?
Not collecting membership points and air miles.	[In progress] Yup, the uncle in me is doing it. Haven’t reached the final goal, but certainly on the path.
Spending time with people who make you feel insignificant.	[In progress] So far have been blessed with friends who do not do this to me (:
Buying non-eco friendly cleaning products.	[CLEARED] Can I disqualify this? :P
Cancelling plans at the last minute.	[In progress] Yup, word.
Running out of money at the end of the month.	[CLEARED] Privileged enough to not have to meet this issue. Guess that’s the benefit of living with working parents.
Putting off difficult conversations.	[In progress] Yup, more word.
Kidding yourself about things that are important.	[In progress] Yup, even more word
Barely drinking any water.	[CLEARED] On the contrary, I drink enough water to go toilet more often than necessary.
Staying out all night on a regular basis…	[In progress] Well, I stay out all night for OT. And I do stay out for drinks now regularly.. maybe once a week? But that should be fine I hope.
…Then wasting entire days hungover.	[CLEARED] Got hungover once. But that’s all. More of wasting entire days to Dota/Youtube/Sleep. But I think I have managed this.
Midnight McDonald’s stops.	[CLEARED] Same as the previous ones. I do this occasionally – now still young so can!
Not looking after your teeth.	[In progress] This reminds me I’m supposed to go for a dental checkup since 6 months ago.
Not wearing sunscreen.	[CLEARED] Got natural sunscreen – melanin.
Constantly worrying about what people think.	[In progress] Oh man… also constantly worrying what people feel.
Not having a long-term plan.	[In progress] Yup!
Not sending back unwanted online purchases.	[In progress] I don’t really shop online. But I’ll include this as my version: not unnecessarily buying things.
Trying to store all important dates and appointments in your head.	[In progress] Well, this is the cause of this shit.
Buying a coffee each morning.	[CLEARED] Never needed. Lucky. Let’s hope it stays this way.

Frog in boiling water

"Whoa why you work so late?"

My typical answers:
- This is the problem when we are too responsible: (What I want to portray: LOL, good one; What I'm probably portraying: Just being cocky)
- There's just alot of work to do
- If I don't work, I also go home play Dota, might as well be more productive

And then I just read this short post on the frog in boiling water story - a story all of us should be very familiar of. 

And my friend literally... like when I'm typing this... just told me "its like i didn't know how toxic my last environment was until i experienced a new one"... which is the hindsight of the story.

How do I maintain this "youthfulness", this "innocence", this "bright eyed, highly motivated, want-to-save-the-world" mindset, where I believe that everyone is doing their best, everyone wants to help each other and everyone is being nice?
However, I can slowly understand why working adults get jaded with life. Why usual advice given by "people with experience" fundamentally takes the form of: "protect yourself". Be it ensuring you have black & white when making decisions or in meetings, or trying not to volunteer yourself too readily, or drawing boundaries in roles & responsibilities.
There are "positive" reasons and "negative" reasons. For instance, having black and white evidence means that there's something that the team can fall back on - because honestly our memories can't serve us very well when there's information overload each working day. However, having black and white evidence can also be used as a form of a shield (or even sword) in times of crisis.
Both reasons are logical per se. But what differentiates them is the mindset of behind the reason. The person who believes in the former reason would probably be judged as being more naive than the person firmly believing in the latter reason.

But isn't it sad that "naivety", which can be a form of optimism, disappears?

This balance has to be carefully managed. 
I'm ok to OT because I want to help my team. Because if not me, then who? My team mates who themselves are also drowning? We are all in this together. But sometimes, the thought of just "why am I doing this?" or "am I foolish" creeps in. But I try to stem it before it gets control of my head. Because ultimately, there's no "I" in teamwork is there?

I'm also lucky to be in a privileged position where I can make this decision. I don't mind OT because I don't have significant other responsibilities. 

Nevertheless, it still can be exhausting sometimes...

"You seem to be interested in everything, but what is it that you are really interested in?"

"People don't know what to talk to you about."

"Beyond helping people, who are you?"

Thanks for posing these questions. 

Older, but wiser?

It's about a week ago, and the experience is still fresh in my memory. With the recent memory lapses, I can't trust myself to remember that experience - so why not digitally etch it in my binary notebook?

Squash in the morning with Eeboon and Yurong. Eeboon initially wanted to jio me for squash but didn't want to disrupt my birthday. Well, I clarified that it would actually be a very apt start to my birthday since I legit enjoy it. And no chances were given cause it's my birthday - I would be upset if they did that :P As usual, after each session there would be a mental reminder to work on my backhand, and reaction time. And now my stamina. Gosh, I'm old.
And Yurong gave me this cake from Breadtalk. Lol, so cute sia. A for effort.

After that it was lunch with Eeboon and Xf, with $5 Hainanese curry rice at Clementi. Yumz ^^. Treated myself to curry chicken and the char siew. Ok la, it doesn't matter if it was my birthday since I'll eat it anyway.

Then 2 dota games followed in the afternoon. And no chances were given cause it's my birthday. In fact I think I lost both games ): 

Dinner was at Fat Cow. Beef was really great, different level from what you normally get here. Then again, Singapore isn't really a "beef" country - we love to eat beef, but we don't/can't grow our own beef here. It's also interesting seeing the waiter is probably much younger than me (maybe JC or poly student?) and he's going through his well-rehearsed lines and trained gesturing. Then there was this mental debate about how companies can ensure exceptional service while training their new staff. Would probably go back again, but this time with another beef eater. 

And then there was this unexpected finale. So Yuan Ming jio-ed me out for dinner, saying he wanted to meet me to catch up as his girlfriend was busy and it was my birthday. Well, we were supposed to be meeting for like the longest time, and so I agreed. Meeting point was at Pump Room at Clarke Quay. Turns out that it was surprise birthday celebration planned by him, Leon, Hui jie and Ji Inn for me and Sey Chee (her birthday is 1 day later). When the cake came out and I saw them, I initially couldn't my eyes. But yea, they were there alright. And to top it off, they booked Teoheng at 11pm. So we K-ed from 11 till 2am. I don't know where I get all the energy from, but it was there. We just "high"-ed all the way through the night.

Once I started work I just thought that such days would no longer apply to me. And being single, why would there be a surprise being planned for me?

Sidenote: Lost my iPod amidst being stunned/shocked/surprised. The iPod has served me for a great 4 years. It has amazing battery life, still synchronizes with the computer well, works like a charm, and definitely as reliable as old Nokia phones. But it's ok, I gained something that night too (:

Special Mentions:
Adeline for singing a birthday song to me via whatsapp call. Omg it's like been a while since I last talked to anyone on the phone other than work. And it felt both weird yet funny at the same time.

My P&G team mates for getting a cake while having claypot with me

Thanh/Clara/Shawn/Ankit/Daniel/Clarice for wishing (:

Fearless?

Taurus

(April 20 – May 20)
As a Taurus, they don’t want others to know how their insecurities get the best of them at times. And that’s because they portray themselves as being a confident and fearless individual in life’s most challenging pursuits. But deep down, a Taurus genuinely cares what others think of them. But they absolutely hate to admit it. They are constantly worried if the impression they’ve made is a positive one. And they have a strong desire to be liked by everyone.

Source: Thought Catalog - The Personality Trait You Hide From The Rest Of The World, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

It's quite interesting (for lack of a better word) that sometimes you would encounter certain gems such as this, something that you can relate to. And then you'll read the rest of the article in hope that the Barnum effect does not apply. 

But in this case, I think I have to admit it. I've always tried to preach to others to do "what they like" or "not care what other people think" but I always find myself sliding down the contradictory path. But sometimes I do things just cause. Or is it I have a lower threshold? Can I even include those little incidents as examples? 

And Mr Ankle isn't reaching back to normal capacity. Still missing those runs ):

But picking up some punching. Quite a fun workout! No worries I do not imagine anyone at the punching bag - hope to keep it that way. Can't kick ):

Weight: 56kg
Height: 161cm
BMI: 21.6%
Body Fat: 16.5%

Looks like 55~56kg is now my new normal range. Don't see any "hope" to go back to 53kg with my current life style. And to my concerned friends, I'm not overly concerned. I'm happy with my current weight!

Oh, and it's time to change my blog theme soon. Recently have been in a certain "sondering" mood.

More firsts, and a hydra

More firsts to come, but some are "lesser firsts" since I have experience in such events/activities, but not in the same scale/magnitude:

• Engaging an external agency to plan teambuilding activities for an event: gone are the days where the team personally executes the activities, we pay someone else to do these things for us
• Staying in a local hotel (Sheraton)
• Helped organise a non P&G activity (Human Library Singapore) as a working individual
• Signed up for fitness membership at Fitness First: I never thought I would do this, like I used to have so many fitness options and I rather play sports. But the convenience of the gym, and the relative inaccessibility (it's quite hard to get interested individuals and amenities) to sports as a working individual tipped me to making this first step

There would definitely be more firsts to come. I guess I'm like a level 50 in vanilla World Of Warcraft now, close to lvl 60 to reach end game content. Hmm... when I would reach lvl 60?

Still liking my job, firefighting problem solving everyday. Keeping me on my toes. Issues are like hydras. Chop one off and 3 more sprout in its place. However, this hydra is also slightly more special:

• Leave one on and 3 more would also sprout beside it. 
• Some heads won't bite immediately, but would hide from you and bite you in a few months' time

And it's very easy to get lost into the operational work, as colleagues have warned. And there're so many things to take note of, sometimes all you want to do is just do your job and not care too much.

Oh, and key statistics:

Weight: 56 kg

Height: 161 cm

BMI: 21.6

% Body Fat: 16.2% 

Guess it's real time to hit the gym, or rather to hit the road/pool and run/swim. The fitness trainer (I get 2 free sessions) mentioned that I need more muscle. Definitely~

Many firsts

In a span of 2 weeks, there were many firsts.

• Emceeing to a crowd of 100+
• Choreographing (includes music editing + simple blocking) and teaching a 2 min dance routine to office colleagues 
• Making a speech (as valedictorian)

Grateful is the emotion of the day. With the strong support from my family, friends and everyone else, I could achieve so much today. 

Key learning: grab the opportunity when it's there. If the potential work to be done scares you, think about the regret you'll have if you gave the opportunity up. 

Wasn't easy, spent several late nights and even had to skip my exercises/sports for 1 whole week - which is a relatively rare occurrence for me. 

Now to think about my next steps...

2 weeks into work

So it's 2 weeks since my contribution to the "employed" statistics in the Singapore workforce commenced.

And to mark the occasion, P&G offered to provide a body composition analysis - ok they didn't. There was this machine in my workplace and so I decided to use it. Here are my key statistics:
Weight: 53kg
Height: 160.9cm
BMI: 20.5
% Body Fat: 9%
Shall measure monthly to keep track of my general health. I can already feel some "weakness" creeping into my body after 2 weeks of "office life".

I think entering the workforce off-cycle (because REP is a 4.5 year programme) gave me some rude awakening that there are indeed so many people out there.
Was attending a new hire training and well... the participants primarily consisted of experienced hires - some even nearing 10 years into the workforce!

And then there's this feeling of becoming a minority, especially when you are working in the APAC HQ of an MNC. Everywhere I turn is someone else who you wouldn't speak Singlish with.

And then there's this feeling of having to adult. You've got to start to watch your actions, what you say and what you do even more. People have less time, and less incentive to learn more about you. And in a world where first impressions matter, I've got to cut down on my joking around - at least until some basic fundamentals have been established. 

And then there's this feeling of becoming a student again. It's so exciting to learn new things and try to implement/execute them. But now, your actions have real impact beyond grades. In addition, more importantly, how can I maintain this insatiable want to learn?  

And then there's this feeling of being in your parents' shoes. You get to finally be able to empathize with them. All these while we have been observing them as a student without life's responsibilities (or at least a bulk of it). Now, we are like them.

And then suddenly you realised your life actually just begun. It's like playing World of Warcraft, and your student years were similar to just leveling up to the maximum level (I think it's lvl 120 now). Only when you reach the maximum level, you can access the end-game content; and that's when players usually say that the real game of WoW would have finally started. So likewise, it's like, bam.. life actually begins now. The daily balancing act begins now, between work, personal life and family life. Between your dreams, your friends and the bread/bacon sitting at home.

Well... glhf (good luck have fun) to me, and all of you readers and anyone else starting their work life (:

2 sides to a coin

The typical saying goes: "there are 2 sides to every coin".

After gathering numerous feedback and opinions, I realised that there is no unequivocal "opinion". And this is easily extended into other aspects of life.

How do we determine whether a person is truly selfish, or simply looking out for/taking care of himself?
When do we judge if someone lacks perseverance or do we nod at his understanding of when to give up?
If someone is ignorant, do we blame him for not finding out, or do we assume that he is busy tending to other matters?


And we typically like to "see the situation" before we make our judgement, but how much are we really willing to dig into? And even so, how can we determine the real intention of the person?

End of the day, there is no "right or wrong", nothing beyond science is as black and white as "1 + 1 = 2". It all boils down to your decision. Which perspective to take, where to stand, and how to move on with the decision that has been made.

But there's a caveat, each decision you make affects others as well. Now the decision making has become even harder - or should it? 
What if you were affected by a decision that is not yours?

Orange is the new team spirit

It's times like this that renews and reaffirms me. A simple yet relatively ludicrous idea that led to the nearly full support of everyone in the group. Each member would have to suffer from a day of intense limelight, and most of them would not have liked to bask in such glory, but they went ahead anyway. 

To the 8 of you, thank you so much. You guys probably don't know it, but it really meant a lot to me walking into class and seeing 8 other bright shirts. Because it's not just 8 bright shirts, but 8 beacons of support (: