Revelations

I did more self introspecting and ruminating on board the many solo travelling trips round the sunny island. Have to sort out many thoughts again, for they keep coming to bug me time and again.

I have to constantly remind myself that I actually typed out this post, so why am I not following it sometimes?
But I have some more clarification to make.

• Acquaintances are acquaintances. Friends are friends. But your romantic partner is your family.
  You can only have 1 father and 1 mother - based on the atypical child (excluding children born through surrogates and conceived via multiple donors). Because your romantic partner - your future spouse - will technically be your family, you can only have 1 spouse (that is if you are not in any religion that condone multiple spouses). And that one spouse would stay with you all the way till your deathbed (that is if you are faithful and not promiscuous).
  Your direct family will be actively concerned about your life, like what you do day by day. They will usually be the one who will know of major decisions of your life whether you informed or not; they will usually be the one who will be informed when you travel overseas. They will be always be the one you fall back to at the end of the day (at least for Singaporeans staying with their parents). Sadly, many of us do not appreciate that our parents are perpetually there for us, and we do not normally approach them when we need the safety net - only at the very last straw do we turn to them battered and bruised and hope for some miracle cure.
  However, friends, despite us being close to them, they usually come and go. Yes you can have close friends, but no matter how close they are, there will still be an invisible line that is drawn between you and them. Friends can change with time, but your parents (and by extension, your spouse) can't - I am sure this is an undisputed fact that everyone has their own personal anecdotal evidence to support. This is one main distinguishing factor that I need to realise.
  One's friends won't come purposely asking what is happening with one's life when they are busy. But for our friends, a simple "sorry I am busy, ttyl" is enough an excuse, however polite and good-natured, to brush aside someone else's problems. However, the family does. Despite the hectic work that our parents are mired in, they will be asking what happened with our day. They will be more than happy if you would want to share your day with them! Just that most of the time, we tend to huddle up with our computers (like me) and blare our sorrows to intangible online avatars with whom we have spent so much more quality time with in real life that with our own familial ties.

Problem with that statement is that I seem to over glorify parents too much. But I would like to point out that "parents" include "spouse" by extension, since he/she will legally be your immediate family once the registration of marriage is completed. Of course not all parents are the same, some might seem to be "incorrigible" or "irreconcilable", but have we given enough effort to repairing a seemingly broken relationship? Have we misunderstood them? Have we communicated enough?
We are happy to chat with our friends because they will usually agree with you and "sympathise" with you; unlike our parents who are notoriously at "loggerheads" with and constantly in love with "denigrating" us. We love to pour our sorrows with our friends because we feel they can empathise with us but not the people who provided us with the blood and life and took care of us to begin with.
Of course for those with initially broken families (wedlock, single parents for etc.), I won't say much because I have no right to. But for the rest of the more privileged us (I am one), I think we have neglected our parents too much.


That is one part of the blog.
Another part is some musing.

I have to learn to accept that my friends have their own life. I have to remember that I typed the post. I have to remember that I have gone through these thoughts before but why do I keep coming back for more reminders?
My friends won't be directly asking for my day-to-day activities. My friends will be asking me for relatively more major decisions. I need to realign my definition of "close friends" as "friends who are supposedly able to see your character and understand you" and removing the clause "friends who will constantly chat with you". Maybe my definition is not flawed and I have yet to meet any close friends?


Or maybe this is my personality and I should not change it? Why should I change to fit others, instead of letting others fit me?
That is a really big question. I would really love some ideas from you readers, and yes I am really soliciting for opinions. Yes, I am attracting attention. Yes, this is me, or is it? I am confused.