Would like to emphasize a thought again, something that makes sense and I wonder why I didn't think of it:
If you want to help someone or make someone feel good, make sure the person gets helped. There's really a time and place for everything, no use trying to help a person who does not intepret your actions the way you do, you only end up making the rift between you and him/her worst.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Random #1
#Warning: this will be a relatively disjointed post, compared to my other posts#
It just makes me feel so good, when someone initiates a random conversation with me just to share with me something random about his/her life. And I appreciate every bit of it.
Sadly, I myself am unable to carry on conversations.
Thinking back about me in class, maybe I am actually an introvert, but I act as if I am an extrovert because I want attention. But put me on a bus with a friend most likely the friend will end up getting bored (if he/she is looking for a conversation)
Somehow there are a million voices talking in my head, scrolling through all the thought catalog and random inspirational/humblebrags that I have read. But I realised they are actually largely contradictory in concept. The most important thing is where to draw the line.
For instance, we want to be ourselves, but if we simply be ourselves we will also impose upon others.
I need to learn to work with people of different personalities. And not misintepret things. But if I just take things at surface value, I become "insensitive". Oh my god...
And I have to reevaluate my commitments. And what factors should I take into account to do this reevaluation?
It just makes me feel so good, when someone initiates a random conversation with me just to share with me something random about his/her life. And I appreciate every bit of it.
Sadly, I myself am unable to carry on conversations.
Thinking back about me in class, maybe I am actually an introvert, but I act as if I am an extrovert because I want attention. But put me on a bus with a friend most likely the friend will end up getting bored (if he/she is looking for a conversation)
Somehow there are a million voices talking in my head, scrolling through all the thought catalog and random inspirational/humblebrags that I have read. But I realised they are actually largely contradictory in concept. The most important thing is where to draw the line.
For instance, we want to be ourselves, but if we simply be ourselves we will also impose upon others.
I need to learn to work with people of different personalities. And not misintepret things. But if I just take things at surface value, I become "insensitive". Oh my god...
And I have to reevaluate my commitments. And what factors should I take into account to do this reevaluation?
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
The Trouble with Bright Girls
Stumbled upon this post, and got really enlightened. A logical piece that could potentially explain some of my concerns:
The Trouble with Bright Girls
I would really love you, my reader, to read it. And to read it good. Read and reflect. Personally, there are several elements in it that I agree with, and that I am guilty of. But do not have any negative thoughts on yourself. Change them into motivation, pure motivation.
If you do read my blog, and I know it, I would want you (J,C,J) to read. I just feel that tagging you on facebook would just demean this post, and sending you this link while you are in class would not solicit the right amount of respect for this article.
The Trouble with Bright Girls
Excerpt: How often have you found yourself avoiding challenges and playing it safe, sticking to goals you knew would be easy for you to reach? Are there things you decided long ago that you could never be good at? Skills you believed you would never possess?I really recommend all my female friends (and male friends included, it may even apply to you despite the target gender of the article) to have a good read with it.
I would really love you, my reader, to read it. And to read it good. Read and reflect. Personally, there are several elements in it that I agree with, and that I am guilty of. But do not have any negative thoughts on yourself. Change them into motivation, pure motivation.
If you do read my blog, and I know it, I would want you (J,C,J) to read. I just feel that tagging you on facebook would just demean this post, and sending you this link while you are in class would not solicit the right amount of respect for this article.
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Leadership
Just realised, there's a difference between "Working in a team" and "Working alone with people assisting you".
On the surface, both seems to be the same.
But probe deeper they are worlds apart.
In a team, everyone trusts each other to do their part to the best of their abilities, and hence do not overly concern themselves with parts they are not allocated.
Whereas for the latter, you are still concerned about every other parts, even though you have "assigned" people to do it, ultimately you are still thinking about how they will do it.
This probably changes how we view leadership in a team.
So how do we balance?
More importantly, now that I am aware of this, what should I do?
On the surface, both seems to be the same.
But probe deeper they are worlds apart.
In a team, everyone trusts each other to do their part to the best of their abilities, and hence do not overly concern themselves with parts they are not allocated.
Whereas for the latter, you are still concerned about every other parts, even though you have "assigned" people to do it, ultimately you are still thinking about how they will do it.
This probably changes how we view leadership in a team.
So how do we balance?
More importantly, now that I am aware of this, what should I do?
Saturday, August 31, 2013
2 key ideas
These few days have made me wonder about my own personal beliefs, and also brought upon me the idea that once we hit a certain age, our own beliefs and thinking has almost been set in stone (unless a super strong wind is able to pick it up and fling it)
Hence I think it is only right to make my own ideas (or whatever I can think of now) concrete.
I like making analogies, and my recent reply to Sean's post (I can't hyper link because I'm typing from my phone) + some other recent posts brought about the idea of interaction, and my subsequent use of the interaction analogy.
We only have so much limited information about each other. We have only this amount of memory space that can store certain amounts of information about each other. Hence it is only natural for us to assume things about others since we base our judgement on whatever limited information we have. Furthermore, over time, as new experiences and information enters our mental hard drive, some preexisting data may inadvertently get over written, hence causing us to "forget" certain things about others.
Assuming kind intentions, we shouldn't be particularly disappointed if people do forget things about us. You have to see the amount of interaction you have with the person to make the judgement. Why blame someone for forgetting you had a girlfriend if the last time you have interacted with him was years ago? Even if you do interact with the person, did you give him the necessary information?
At the very least, we should be thankful if people do ask about you. This is what matters more, the initiation to know about you. At least he makes an effort to try to remember you.
Another principle I have is feedback. We all want feedback, but sometimes we are also afraid of the painful truths. We like hearing praises but criticism etches deep in our hearts. We continually self reflect until the point of despise if we keep hearing criticism, hence as nice people we try not to be "mean" and not tell people off. Of course there is a tolerance level we should all have, but when was the last time did you have a serious talk about your actual behavior? We can be nice and diplomatic in our packaging, but has any actual content been passed? Maybe sometimes in a serious talk we should not play so nice and sometimes say the real feedback.
And why do people like to talk about others but not to the person in question directly? Once or twice for ranting or venting frustration is fine, but if it's a "chronic" thing, aren't you unfair to the said person? You are complaining about a person but you don't give him a chance to reform. Even if you for try to have subtle hints, how about simply going to the person and talking face to face? It's "fun" and OK to be the one gossiping, but the one being gossiped? I doubt so. He will simply do it again and again (probably annoying things) because he does not know how it affects you!
Of course, if you have done your part and talked to him or communicated with him (I meant actual words not insinuation), and he doesn't change, that is a different matter. Maybe you might know the reason for his doing, and probably it won't be so bad after all. ultimately, assume kind intention.
Lastly, I am thankful for friends who have been entertaining me and trying to reach out to me. I apologise that I am sometimes not free to reciprocate your offers. (Don't go into business law mode Thank you very much)
I am also trying to balance out my relationships. Have to keep maintaining contact with my friends, because I don't want to lose them either. It will not be an easy task, but it will be worthwhile.
My post may sound angsty, but mark my words, my door is always open for communication.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Brief recollection of Academic Year 2 Sem 1 Week 1
1. RPR still feels the same to me though, reminding me of the entire year I spent listening to lectures, going through tutorials and having quizzes.
2. I still have to fight for my table (by going there early), maybe I should make a mark there xD
3. My behaviour hasn't changed, probably only got worst by distracting people. Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt disrespect?
4. Work will only get tougher, and with more commitments that I want to take up, there got to be a reshuffling of priorities, and possibly abandon activities that may not be "efficient use of time". But I could use some second opinions - but question is how do I do it approach it objectively?
5. I might have to pay attention to more "after class mingling", or maybe not?
6. I like to focus on my own plans too much, and not waste time in travelling. But I am fine with being in the place early and "wasting time". I tend to walk further in front, rather than chilling at the back and talking. Maybe I need to change that as well?
7. Should I change my group? But even if I change my group, it will usually end up with those standard "non-productive" talk cock anyway. How can I encourage people to talk to me in a deeper level? I'm always a door open but few has yet to walk through it... or could I have accidentally closed the door on someone?
Thursday, August 08, 2013
Burden
Someone once told me, "In life, you can be anyone, but never a burden to others, especially your loved ones".
So here comes the concept of a burden.
And my mind started to develop ideas, definition and perspective of this theme: burden.
But warning: this piece can be highly controversial and may sound very pragmatic. Judge me all you want, but these are issues that one have to deal with anyway.
So what defines a burden? There can be many definitions, but I settle for this generalization.
Having shortcomings need not necessitate a burden; only when the shortcomings can adversely affect the relationship in the future then a burden is present. Sometimes even strengths can be a burden. Let's give an example. (and of course, whether something "adversely affect" is also down to perspective, so this passage is based on mine)
Weakness that is not a burden:
Inability to entertain the other partner for long hours may be a weakness that is evident during the dating phase (oh my partner is so boring), but will not have any lasting impact. (when u are busy working there is no inherent need to entertain)
Being a burden not only waste resources, but unnecessarily consumes effort and time. Of course, in a relationship we have to share weal and woe together, and "complement each other", but each partner also has the responsibility to remain "worth of each other". Remember, doesn't mean you have the partner means you can stop all your efforts to impress the person. In fact, you have to maintain yourself, if not you are ultimately being a cheat/liar. For instance, you used not to smoke then you suddenly pick up smoking. Of course some of these things may be trivial, (like being funny when in fact all you did were memorize jokes and once she knows your hidden truth you are like "uh shit"), but even some seemingly trivial things may be important (if you have a pet peeve against your partner but you refuse to tell your partner for fear of being judged, you will end up suffering as your pet peeve happens again and again when you are with a partner).
But having a current disability or something does not necessitate burden unless the disability will be permanent. What is more important than all these "tangible symptoms" will be the mindset. The most crucial mindset in a relationship will be the desire to learn and explore. Only through constant learning and exploration will you be able to accept new ideas and adapt to your partner's changing needs (as they grow old or enter new phases of the life) It is also with this desire you will continually try to improve and outdo your current self, honing your own physical, mental and psychological well being.
So you may ask, will I "screen" a person before I take him/her as a partner for life? Yes I would. TV shows may be all drama, but they sometimes offer real lessons. Will you seriously want to marry into a family where you will be interlocked with family politics and infighting? Is it really that easy to just elope with your partner and run off? Maybe it is, but is it so feasible all the time? Good thing is, many things that may seem to be a problem, ain't problems at all, because they can be easily remedied. And some problems can't even be classified as problems. Remember, the "problems" I am referring to are those that may be life-threatening or have high impact to the lives. For instance, HIV/AIDs will be considered a problem. But having a broken arm will not be a problem since most fractures can be healed over time.
These problems are more "mental" rather than "physical". Someone who is highly intelligent but equally stubborn and obstinate will definitely remain in a forever alone group. But someone who is less intelligent but willing to learn will have more potential as a mate.
Of course, I guess a counter argument running through your head will be, what to do when someone eventually grows old. This is where this article will lose its hold. In fact I am not addressing those concerns when your partner grows old and naturally become weaker. But mindsets remains when your partner grow old. Will your partner, due to his/her aging body, become self depressed and complain non-stop without trying any means to get better? Or will your partner, despite the age, attempt to keep his/her life colourful so as to retain his/her mental faculties as much as possible? These are real crucial questions that you must ask yourself, because when everyone else grow old, only you have the responsibility to take care of the person, unless divorce is an option.
So what does this post essentially broach about?
Love, although idyllic and sometimes idealistic, is far from that. Love is formed from compromise, where both parties have to put in effort to maintain the relationship. This means a balance of both "me" and "him/her". As I like to tell my partner, "I love you because for who you are, not an extension of me (because you are too clingy)". Furthermore, I use a rope analogy for relationship. Imagine a relationship is like a rope that has to be lifted above ground to succeed. So 2 people come and lift the rope on both ends so that the rope will be lifted above ground. If one partner goofs off or is simply unable to hold on the rope properly, the rope will have a higher chance to touching the ground and the relationship will be strained. If one partner no longer loves the other party (he/she has dropped the rope), no amount of work (lifting of the rope) by the other party will not save the relationship.
So be true to yourself, but also be true to your partner. Do your best to grow yourself, because that's one of the best ways to keep your relationship growing strong. Of course, when you need help, ask!
So here comes the concept of a burden.
And my mind started to develop ideas, definition and perspective of this theme: burden.
But warning: this piece can be highly controversial and may sound very pragmatic. Judge me all you want, but these are issues that one have to deal with anyway.
So what defines a burden? There can be many definitions, but I settle for this generalization.
Having shortcomings need not necessitate a burden; only when the shortcomings can adversely affect the relationship in the future then a burden is present. Sometimes even strengths can be a burden. Let's give an example. (and of course, whether something "adversely affect" is also down to perspective, so this passage is based on mine)
Weakness that is not a burden:
Inability to entertain the other partner for long hours may be a weakness that is evident during the dating phase (oh my partner is so boring), but will not have any lasting impact. (when u are busy working there is no inherent need to entertain)
Being a burden not only waste resources, but unnecessarily consumes effort and time. Of course, in a relationship we have to share weal and woe together, and "complement each other", but each partner also has the responsibility to remain "worth of each other". Remember, doesn't mean you have the partner means you can stop all your efforts to impress the person. In fact, you have to maintain yourself, if not you are ultimately being a cheat/liar. For instance, you used not to smoke then you suddenly pick up smoking. Of course some of these things may be trivial, (like being funny when in fact all you did were memorize jokes and once she knows your hidden truth you are like "uh shit"), but even some seemingly trivial things may be important (if you have a pet peeve against your partner but you refuse to tell your partner for fear of being judged, you will end up suffering as your pet peeve happens again and again when you are with a partner).
But having a current disability or something does not necessitate burden unless the disability will be permanent. What is more important than all these "tangible symptoms" will be the mindset. The most crucial mindset in a relationship will be the desire to learn and explore. Only through constant learning and exploration will you be able to accept new ideas and adapt to your partner's changing needs (as they grow old or enter new phases of the life) It is also with this desire you will continually try to improve and outdo your current self, honing your own physical, mental and psychological well being.
So you may ask, will I "screen" a person before I take him/her as a partner for life? Yes I would. TV shows may be all drama, but they sometimes offer real lessons. Will you seriously want to marry into a family where you will be interlocked with family politics and infighting? Is it really that easy to just elope with your partner and run off? Maybe it is, but is it so feasible all the time? Good thing is, many things that may seem to be a problem, ain't problems at all, because they can be easily remedied. And some problems can't even be classified as problems. Remember, the "problems" I am referring to are those that may be life-threatening or have high impact to the lives. For instance, HIV/AIDs will be considered a problem. But having a broken arm will not be a problem since most fractures can be healed over time.
These problems are more "mental" rather than "physical". Someone who is highly intelligent but equally stubborn and obstinate will definitely remain in a forever alone group. But someone who is less intelligent but willing to learn will have more potential as a mate.
Of course, I guess a counter argument running through your head will be, what to do when someone eventually grows old. This is where this article will lose its hold. In fact I am not addressing those concerns when your partner grows old and naturally become weaker. But mindsets remains when your partner grow old. Will your partner, due to his/her aging body, become self depressed and complain non-stop without trying any means to get better? Or will your partner, despite the age, attempt to keep his/her life colourful so as to retain his/her mental faculties as much as possible? These are real crucial questions that you must ask yourself, because when everyone else grow old, only you have the responsibility to take care of the person, unless divorce is an option.
So what does this post essentially broach about?
Love, although idyllic and sometimes idealistic, is far from that. Love is formed from compromise, where both parties have to put in effort to maintain the relationship. This means a balance of both "me" and "him/her". As I like to tell my partner, "I love you because for who you are, not an extension of me (because you are too clingy)". Furthermore, I use a rope analogy for relationship. Imagine a relationship is like a rope that has to be lifted above ground to succeed. So 2 people come and lift the rope on both ends so that the rope will be lifted above ground. If one partner goofs off or is simply unable to hold on the rope properly, the rope will have a higher chance to touching the ground and the relationship will be strained. If one partner no longer loves the other party (he/she has dropped the rope), no amount of work (lifting of the rope) by the other party will not save the relationship.
So be true to yourself, but also be true to your partner. Do your best to grow yourself, because that's one of the best ways to keep your relationship growing strong. Of course, when you need help, ask!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
REP Camp
So everyone is blogging about the REP camp... or at least all the posts that I have been reading is about the camp.
It's always different when u are now involved not as a participant but as an organiser. Ok fine, I did not technically organised, but rather floated around as a senior with no obligations.
As some would have already known, I deliberately decided against joining the committee last year (even after Sean and other people approached me) because I planned for my surgery to occur during this period and I didn't want to be "non-existent" for the camp.
So ended up I was really not involved in the planning at all. Had no news about the FOC until it was quite near the camp (around 1,2 months away).
Tried joining in for some meetings, and I remembered pestering people with "if got meeting tell me ah" reminders through both verbal and SMSes, and trying my best to contribute as much as possible. Of course after a while I thought I might have talked too much (as usual), I should simply let the committee decide themselves, and if they needed help, then they can approach me.
So as the camp proceeded, I find myself wondering if I should have joined in the organising team. I had ideas, but didn't dare put forth because I didn't want to doubt the pre-existing plans. I wondered if it would be irresponsible of me to be leaving at night to take care of my arm during the camp.
So yea, a question that will not be answered. You can give me your own replies, but of course there will not be the actual thing happening. But I am grateful that I didn't join in, because I think I will do feel very bad about leaving halfway.
I am aware this post might make me sound haughty and proud / arrogant... but yea...
I too do not regret leaving the RSR and deciding to plant myself in ABC group (Adi, Bryan and Clarice) on Day 1. Don't know if I made any impact, I tried my best to rar-rar the group without hurting my vocal chords too much or sounding really too crazy or neurotic. Realised that all the group simply needed was some catalyst to get them going.
I still remember at fright night, (clarice and adi and bryan had to deal with fright night) E group still had no clue what to do. And our group seemed so quiet it was quite disconcertingly quiet.
But one takeaway is this: To get people to contribute ideas, you have to show that giving ideas, however stupid or dumb, is possible and won't get you judged, so they won't be afraid of giving ideas.
And lo and behold! What a pleasant surprise they gave me. I was there watching their very first rehearsal, and seriously.. they touched my heart! Of course no crying heh (I'm a man) but still giving me some fuzzy feeling.
And now.. I can't wait for Hall camp.
------------------------------
Have to constantly remind myself: it is ok to be not in the know.
And... there's no reason why people should talk to you... if they want, they will, if they don't want to, then they won't.
It's always different when u are now involved not as a participant but as an organiser. Ok fine, I did not technically organised, but rather floated around as a senior with no obligations.
As some would have already known, I deliberately decided against joining the committee last year (even after Sean and other people approached me) because I planned for my surgery to occur during this period and I didn't want to be "non-existent" for the camp.
So ended up I was really not involved in the planning at all. Had no news about the FOC until it was quite near the camp (around 1,2 months away).
Tried joining in for some meetings, and I remembered pestering people with "if got meeting tell me ah" reminders through both verbal and SMSes, and trying my best to contribute as much as possible. Of course after a while I thought I might have talked too much (as usual), I should simply let the committee decide themselves, and if they needed help, then they can approach me.
So as the camp proceeded, I find myself wondering if I should have joined in the organising team. I had ideas, but didn't dare put forth because I didn't want to doubt the pre-existing plans. I wondered if it would be irresponsible of me to be leaving at night to take care of my arm during the camp.
So yea, a question that will not be answered. You can give me your own replies, but of course there will not be the actual thing happening. But I am grateful that I didn't join in, because I think I will do feel very bad about leaving halfway.
I am aware this post might make me sound haughty and proud / arrogant... but yea...
I too do not regret leaving the RSR and deciding to plant myself in ABC group (Adi, Bryan and Clarice) on Day 1. Don't know if I made any impact, I tried my best to rar-rar the group without hurting my vocal chords too much or sounding really too crazy or neurotic. Realised that all the group simply needed was some catalyst to get them going.
I still remember at fright night, (clarice and adi and bryan had to deal with fright night) E group still had no clue what to do. And our group seemed so quiet it was quite disconcertingly quiet.
But one takeaway is this: To get people to contribute ideas, you have to show that giving ideas, however stupid or dumb, is possible and won't get you judged, so they won't be afraid of giving ideas.
And lo and behold! What a pleasant surprise they gave me. I was there watching their very first rehearsal, and seriously.. they touched my heart! Of course no crying heh (I'm a man) but still giving me some fuzzy feeling.
And now.. I can't wait for Hall camp.
------------------------------
Have to constantly remind myself: it is ok to be not in the know.
And... there's no reason why people should talk to you... if they want, they will, if they don't want to, then they won't.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Long overdue
*Background music on*
My mum decided to shift in to do her work in the same room and me... and me playing the "good boy", shall not have my final game before I sleep...
*after scrolling through facebook*
Some friends have commented on my lacklustre performance in the blogging community. I would correct them, reminding them that I have NOT blogged at all. The very most I probably did is to THINK about blogging, but that doesn't constitute any contribution right?
So, many things have happened in this few months.
For some, practical work/internship takes precedence and hence more money to spend and some work experience to accrue. I applaud your decision (even if its forced for some of you, thank yourself for "being forced to work").
For others, some travelling and overseas exposure. Good too, at least you are now more aware of around the world unlike those who are still in Singapore. You have seen some of the world, which is always good.
And for me... happily waiting for my surgery to take place... and it did take place!
So now I am waiting for my arm to recover fully, such that my arm does not overwhelmingly attract my mother's attention. I want to get back to my sports, I want to get back sweating in the sun, and I want to be able to use both hands with equal ease and dexterity and not having to raise my left hand like some statue of liberty while showering.
Maybe I am really stubborn, but the doctors have clarified that there is no dietary restrictions for me. Yet my parents still claim I cannot consume seafood and poultry, which kind of narrows down my food options by quite a bit. I still don't take cold drinks nor excessively spicy food, but I have been itching to eat chicken. Actually I can do without chicken, but I don't like having this loss of choice to eat chicken. Nevertheless, I still waited for 1 week, and will probably wait another week before I sink my fangs into the avian species - or at least after I remove my stitches!
A few people visited me, or "called me out". And I thank them for being so kind! I have never known how to entertain people, and although I like to be visited, I find myself cringing in anguish trying to think of something for my visitor to do. Like trying to start random conversations. But I just can't seem to really do it.
Didn't really accomplish much. Part of me wished I never had broken my arm so I would be in a middle of a job and feeling much more self-worth. It's really weird when I am so free and am spending all my time playing games. Like c'mon, my motivation levels to do anything beyond gaming has plummeted? At least I am picking up watching videos - yes documentaries or some short clips of science. I'm still interested in science-y, nerdy stuff, but hey that's me! I grew up reading about science so why should I stop? Just that all these 'science' will not significantly contribute to my future job, at least I think they don't.
But then again, holidays are meant to unwind and relax?
I think I have some competitive drive in me, that's always comparing between people and me. I don't normally show it (or maybe I do often but I am unaware of). But this flares up more when I am alone and having my own introspection. Advantageous because it keeps me going, gives me the drive to do things, but certainly not beneficial when the drive turns the other way round and becomes a "kevin-you-just-suck" in your face kind of thing.
Then again, I did a couple of things which probably won't appear in a CV or that my future employer wouldn't bother. But at least for my own personal experience, I have never regretted doing whatever I have done, which can be quite.. "astounding"?
1. I took a 3 day course in drums. I will never forget this! I really enjoyed it and want to continue, but the course fee is expensive... and now I can't really play drums without screwing my left wrist.
2. I worked for free for 2 weeks in a kitchen. Although I have kind of forgotten whatever I learnt, but it did open my eyes up to different profiles of people. And I learnt that the Westerners children grow up REALLY FAST!
3. Took a refresher course for driving by driving up to Malaysia. Once you can drive in Malaysian highways, Singapore roads become simple streets to you.
4. Worked on my gaming skills in League of Legends. Still far from being very good, I am at least playing and learning at the same time. I have become more aggressive in improving my skills, such as watching more replays and reading up more guides rather than mindlessly playing each game.
Yep! Sounds fun right my holidays?
Well I think it sure is. Fun. Productive? Maybe no...
But that's what school is for isn't it?
Some of you might probably know it, but I am probably a weird person as I am eagerly waiting for school! Partially because I like mugging, gives me this directional pole for me to follow. At least now I know I have to mug and score well, rather than mindlessly existing in my house. But mostly because I get to meet my friends again.
Will think about my "resolutions" for this coming year, and of course shall "promise" to abide by it. But generally, whatever projects that I am in I shall push for earlier completion rather than the trademark last minute rushing that every student in Singapore will face. And of course, more constant revision. Summary: more consistent work, less last minute.
So here you go. Kevin Seng, your classmate, eagerly waiting to see your face. Of course he might probably see your face and end up doing his own thing, but no worries, at least he has seen your face and know that all is well with you. He's just that kind of person. He doesn't foresee him expanding on whatever existing friendly relationship he has. Holidays are time where friendships either grow stronger, or will die faster.
My mum decided to shift in to do her work in the same room and me... and me playing the "good boy", shall not have my final game before I sleep...
*after scrolling through facebook*
Some friends have commented on my lacklustre performance in the blogging community. I would correct them, reminding them that I have NOT blogged at all. The very most I probably did is to THINK about blogging, but that doesn't constitute any contribution right?
So, many things have happened in this few months.
For some, practical work/internship takes precedence and hence more money to spend and some work experience to accrue. I applaud your decision (even if its forced for some of you, thank yourself for "being forced to work").
For others, some travelling and overseas exposure. Good too, at least you are now more aware of around the world unlike those who are still in Singapore. You have seen some of the world, which is always good.
And for me... happily waiting for my surgery to take place... and it did take place!
So now I am waiting for my arm to recover fully, such that my arm does not overwhelmingly attract my mother's attention. I want to get back to my sports, I want to get back sweating in the sun, and I want to be able to use both hands with equal ease and dexterity and not having to raise my left hand like some statue of liberty while showering.
Maybe I am really stubborn, but the doctors have clarified that there is no dietary restrictions for me. Yet my parents still claim I cannot consume seafood and poultry, which kind of narrows down my food options by quite a bit. I still don't take cold drinks nor excessively spicy food, but I have been itching to eat chicken. Actually I can do without chicken, but I don't like having this loss of choice to eat chicken. Nevertheless, I still waited for 1 week, and will probably wait another week before I sink my fangs into the avian species - or at least after I remove my stitches!
A few people visited me, or "called me out". And I thank them for being so kind! I have never known how to entertain people, and although I like to be visited, I find myself cringing in anguish trying to think of something for my visitor to do. Like trying to start random conversations. But I just can't seem to really do it.
Didn't really accomplish much. Part of me wished I never had broken my arm so I would be in a middle of a job and feeling much more self-worth. It's really weird when I am so free and am spending all my time playing games. Like c'mon, my motivation levels to do anything beyond gaming has plummeted? At least I am picking up watching videos - yes documentaries or some short clips of science. I'm still interested in science-y, nerdy stuff, but hey that's me! I grew up reading about science so why should I stop? Just that all these 'science' will not significantly contribute to my future job, at least I think they don't.
But then again, holidays are meant to unwind and relax?
I think I have some competitive drive in me, that's always comparing between people and me. I don't normally show it (or maybe I do often but I am unaware of). But this flares up more when I am alone and having my own introspection. Advantageous because it keeps me going, gives me the drive to do things, but certainly not beneficial when the drive turns the other way round and becomes a "kevin-you-just-suck" in your face kind of thing.
Then again, I did a couple of things which probably won't appear in a CV or that my future employer wouldn't bother. But at least for my own personal experience, I have never regretted doing whatever I have done, which can be quite.. "astounding"?
1. I took a 3 day course in drums. I will never forget this! I really enjoyed it and want to continue, but the course fee is expensive... and now I can't really play drums without screwing my left wrist.
2. I worked for free for 2 weeks in a kitchen. Although I have kind of forgotten whatever I learnt, but it did open my eyes up to different profiles of people. And I learnt that the Westerners children grow up REALLY FAST!
3. Took a refresher course for driving by driving up to Malaysia. Once you can drive in Malaysian highways, Singapore roads become simple streets to you.
4. Worked on my gaming skills in League of Legends. Still far from being very good, I am at least playing and learning at the same time. I have become more aggressive in improving my skills, such as watching more replays and reading up more guides rather than mindlessly playing each game.
Yep! Sounds fun right my holidays?
Well I think it sure is. Fun. Productive? Maybe no...
But that's what school is for isn't it?
Some of you might probably know it, but I am probably a weird person as I am eagerly waiting for school! Partially because I like mugging, gives me this directional pole for me to follow. At least now I know I have to mug and score well, rather than mindlessly existing in my house. But mostly because I get to meet my friends again.
Will think about my "resolutions" for this coming year, and of course shall "promise" to abide by it. But generally, whatever projects that I am in I shall push for earlier completion rather than the trademark last minute rushing that every student in Singapore will face. And of course, more constant revision. Summary: more consistent work, less last minute.
So here you go. Kevin Seng, your classmate, eagerly waiting to see your face. Of course he might probably see your face and end up doing his own thing, but no worries, at least he has seen your face and know that all is well with you. He's just that kind of person. He doesn't foresee him expanding on whatever existing friendly relationship he has. Holidays are time where friendships either grow stronger, or will die faster.
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