30 habits to break before 30

Currently in a middle of a crisis at work. No worries, there were no explosions, no deaths. No human casualties, just profit (and scorecard) casualties. 

But it's also a good time to reflect on myself, and my working habits, and me in general. 


Shan't go into details - as I just decided to post this while taking a break from work. However, came across this Business Insider article (I think it might be "divine intervention), and thought, why not do a tracking of this for myself?

Habit to Break	Current Status
Living for the weekends.	[In progress]
Supporting fast fashion.	[CLEARED] Nope, I don’t like to support fast fashion. On the contrary, I think I don’t have enough clothes :P
Thinking social smoking is ‘OK.’	[CLEARED] Nope, don’t smoke.
Clinging on to friendships that have run their course.	[In progress] First I need to see which friendships have “run their course”
Not having a bed time.	[In progress] Now my bed time is defined by how tired I feel, not defined by a habit.
Thinking that you can rely on your metabolism to keep weight off.	[In progress] So guilty of this…. Right now my metabolism is still in good shape.
Drinking cheap wine.	[CLEARED] I think I’m choosy enough for the alcohol I drink, and I drink with friends who know their alcohol (:
Taking special moments with friends for granted.	[In progress] Trying my best. But not sure if I’ve achieved what this statement entails
Compromising on what you deserve in a relationship.	[In progress] What do I deserve?
Doing things because you think you ‘should.’	[In progress] Technically I’m never forced to do things. But then again, how do I discern between “should” and “want”?
Putting your physical health before your mental health.	[CLEARED] I think I’m ok with this. I’m ok with all the physical health habits that I’ve been putting myself through.
Fad diets.	[CLEARED] What are fad diets?
Not collecting membership points and air miles.	[In progress] Yup, the uncle in me is doing it. Haven’t reached the final goal, but certainly on the path.
Spending time with people who make you feel insignificant.	[In progress] So far have been blessed with friends who do not do this to me (:
Buying non-eco friendly cleaning products.	[CLEARED] Can I disqualify this? :P
Cancelling plans at the last minute.	[In progress] Yup, word.
Running out of money at the end of the month.	[CLEARED] Privileged enough to not have to meet this issue. Guess that’s the benefit of living with working parents.
Putting off difficult conversations.	[In progress] Yup, more word.
Kidding yourself about things that are important.	[In progress] Yup, even more word
Barely drinking any water.	[CLEARED] On the contrary, I drink enough water to go toilet more often than necessary.
Staying out all night on a regular basis…	[In progress] Well, I stay out all night for OT. And I do stay out for drinks now regularly.. maybe once a week? But that should be fine I hope.
…Then wasting entire days hungover.	[CLEARED] Got hungover once. But that’s all. More of wasting entire days to Dota/Youtube/Sleep. But I think I have managed this.
Midnight McDonald’s stops.	[CLEARED] Same as the previous ones. I do this occasionally – now still young so can!
Not looking after your teeth.	[In progress] This reminds me I’m supposed to go for a dental checkup since 6 months ago.
Not wearing sunscreen.	[CLEARED] Got natural sunscreen – melanin.
Constantly worrying about what people think.	[In progress] Oh man… also constantly worrying what people feel.
Not having a long-term plan.	[In progress] Yup!
Not sending back unwanted online purchases.	[In progress] I don’t really shop online. But I’ll include this as my version: not unnecessarily buying things.
Trying to store all important dates and appointments in your head.	[In progress] Well, this is the cause of this shit.
Buying a coffee each morning.	[CLEARED] Never needed. Lucky. Let’s hope it stays this way.

Many firsts

In a span of 2 weeks, there were many firsts.

• Emceeing to a crowd of 100+
• Choreographing (includes music editing + simple blocking) and teaching a 2 min dance routine to office colleagues 
• Making a speech (as valedictorian)

Grateful is the emotion of the day. With the strong support from my family, friends and everyone else, I could achieve so much today. 

Key learning: grab the opportunity when it's there. If the potential work to be done scares you, think about the regret you'll have if you gave the opportunity up. 

Wasn't easy, spent several late nights and even had to skip my exercises/sports for 1 whole week - which is a relatively rare occurrence for me. 

Now to think about my next steps...

2 sides to a coin

The typical saying goes: "there are 2 sides to every coin".

After gathering numerous feedback and opinions, I realised that there is no unequivocal "opinion". And this is easily extended into other aspects of life.

How do we determine whether a person is truly selfish, or simply looking out for/taking care of himself?
When do we judge if someone lacks perseverance or do we nod at his understanding of when to give up?
If someone is ignorant, do we blame him for not finding out, or do we assume that he is busy tending to other matters?


And we typically like to "see the situation" before we make our judgement, but how much are we really willing to dig into? And even so, how can we determine the real intention of the person?

End of the day, there is no "right or wrong", nothing beyond science is as black and white as "1 + 1 = 2". It all boils down to your decision. Which perspective to take, where to stand, and how to move on with the decision that has been made.

But there's a caveat, each decision you make affects others as well. Now the decision making has become even harder - or should it? 
What if you were affected by a decision that is not yours?

Maybe I am actually a hardcore extrovert but I have yet to fully understand it.

From Carina:

Because coming back for people puts a lot of pressure on them, and it can sometimes be disappointing. You realise you're very dispensable. But it also teaches you to be okay. Be okay with the fact that friends, life and all that stuff you use to put so much emphasis on, is actually not that important, and things are fleeting/nothing but momentary.

Succinctly said (ok maybe not so "succinct" as defined by the word). 
But being "okay" is something that I have yet to gripe with. I can say it, I act it out sometimes. But at the very root of it, I still refuse to accept it.

I try. I try sometimes. I try all the time. But the very idea/notion of this just haunts me.

And when you see other people who seem to be "best friends forever", so close, so tight together, I just can't help but be green with envy.

Of course, I made my choices, I have to live with it. But then, when will I be actually "okay"?

And I have to stop "pleasing" everyone. It's really getting tiring. And yes, I am dispensable. But is there such thing as people "on your side"? Isn't it a fact that people will generally not be on my side? I mean, there are so many people more popular/skilled/awesome/funnier/less controversial.

Maybe I am actually a hardcore extrovert but I have yet to fully understand it.

The road ahead.

To improve my resume try out something new that Singapore does not seem to have (keyword "seem": I recently learnt of a club in NUS that also offers "consulting" services to companies in Singapore. In addition, there are marketing clubs in Singapore that have also established links with private companies. Just that probably these clubs are reserved for the super-elite or I just didn't bother/couldn't find them), I decided to apply for Imagical (a marketing group) and Berkeley Consulting (a consulting group) as they are both interesting and I am willing to invest 24/7 onto them.
However, my practical side sounded some alarms - a particularly strong one in fact: we (me and REP people) are only here for one year, and they (the clubs) will probably want members who can stay with them for as long as possible. Nonetheless, the defensive pessimist (or is it optimist/perseverant?) decided to try and apply for it, what's there to lose?

Lo and behold, all I got was some computer generated email from both sides:

Thank you for applying to Berkeley Consulting. Unfortunately, due to the competitive nature of the selection process, we regret to inform you that you have not been selected for a first round interview with Berkeley Consulting. 

I want to assure you that we considered your candidacy carefully and that it was a very difficult deliberation process given the number of extremely qualified applicants we received this semester.

Kind of expected, but this certainly was a direct stab in a heart. I mean, why don't you just provide me with an interview? Ok, maybe they have prevented me from wasting my time, but isn't this a good chance for you to use the interview to get to know other willing people? Ugh, oh well. My stubborn self made me waste 2 nights of my life (which could have been used for squash and homework).

Also, I have decided not to join the Squash team. Nope, I am not going to stop playing Squash, but I won't fork out the $300 required to be in the team. The $300 covers transport and some team outfits, but I feel that it will only be worth it if I get to play in competition. I know I am not up to par, but can't I wish for it sometimes? Well, squash to me is my "best relative" game, the one with the highest "comparative advantage". For the befuddled, there are significantly many more pros in badminton and basketball, the other sports that I can (defined as being able to engage in some level of game without having to spend much time picking balls) play, as compared to squash. 15 people will be recruited into the team, and I think I can make it to the team. But only the top 10 will be given the opportunity to play in competitions with other schools, and from my observations I definitely will not be able to make it - even if I mugged squash every night. C'mon an opportunity to travel around US and play with other people? That's like once in a lifetime experience + there's so many perks to it.. all for $300? (+ some possible extra fees) That's a real steal!

So what's my plan now. I am definitely not someone who is fine with doing nothing - I have come all the way here, and I have decided not to pick up the 150B course that the 10 other chemical engineer classmates have picked up = more free time more me!

But again, that quote still stays: You can do anything, but not everything.
After some rumination, here's a condensed list:

• Make some good international friends. Everyone can be a friend - it's pretty easy to make friends. But 99% (I'm exaggerating the numbers) of these people will be relegated to hi-bye friends. While we should maintain contact with people back home, now is a good chance to develop strong friendships with other people from around the world.
• Travel (and drive hehe) around California to appease my nature loving self
• Better my squash (I got a new racquet :D) - I will try to make it better so I can at least play properly back in NTU. Shoutout to Yu Rong and Leon who would probably be my squash buddies this year.
• Work extra hard in the Engineers Without Borders chapter in Berkeley. 

I think I should stop being a "jack of all trades", and try to master something, or at least be decently better than what I am now. Realised I have to play catch-up to simply too many things. 

Side note:

~$180. Vans for $30 (:

Went shopping at Livermore Outlet and here's my loot. Honestly I should have brought clothes so I don't need to buy. But that Gap T shirt was like USD$4, so why not? XD
and I think the pair of Vans was a splurge, but I probably need the other shoes. In fact I'm wearing the Columbia shoes now to break into them. And I realised I am a US 7.5 feet.
But I have to get more stuff - for the more "official" and "officy" look. Omg, I saw my watch for sale, but it wasn't on discount ): I actually thought it was out of season, as I last checked the online catalog it was absent - and it still is ):
And leather shoes. And a cardigan. (omg, shopaholic me)


And below is a random anvil I saw at a car workshop. Can you believe that there's an "F1" team in United States, where students actually build cars (some even built their own engines) and race? Like.. How cool is that? Joan would certainly love this ;)
 

Always see them in virtual games.

 

Reflections 2 weeks late

*Cue nice music*

Yes Sean, yes Joan ... This is certainly due. And I shall dive straight into it - and this time with little or no organisation. Anything that comes into my mind will be placed without significant rearrangements.

Here are some things that I picked up:

1. The word "big" just grew bigger when you travel from Singapore to US
2. There's just so much land everywhere you go
3. And animals too. Mooo. Mehhhh... *insert deer sound*
4. Air is significantly drier, and weather is cooler - but still bearable and in fact it's like permanent air-conditioning -> this means my feet is constantly wet (I have "sweaty palms and feet" in cold weather)
5. Everyone here is good in something, and when they are good, they are really good. Puts me into shame -> what am I doing with my life?
6. There's really so many cultures and other people in the world. The world is like FKING huge?
7. It's one thing to know, understand and read about; and another to experience it in full blast in your face
8. There are many Koreans in International House as well, we can probably fight with the Korean contingent
9. The system here supports alot of recycling, but somehow, paradoxically, some people do not bear the "recycling" or "save the earth" mentality. It's like you have recycle bins, we do drop in the food into compost bins and plastic bottles into the recycling bin for plastics, but we do not cut down on the initial consumption... It's like we have NEWater but we still waste water nonetheless
10. I like this campus because it makes people walk, and walk alot. It's like walking from Hall 11 to Can A everytime -> not too far, but not that near.
11. There is an epic fitness culture here, almost everyone is doing something related to health/fitness I think one can easily catch the fitness bug. It's all about making the decision to get out of the room, through the cool/cold air, into the sports facilities, and sweating it out and getting into shape. The sports facilities are almost always crowded with people. They might not be 80-90% occupied, but at least 40-50% full at ALL times - including off peak periods like mornings and mid day.
12. Making friends is 'easy', but actually creating a bonded relationship - that requires some effort. I think one can be easily "overwhelmed" with the number of "friends" you can have.
13. A term is coined: socialising saturation point / friendship saturation point
14. There are 2 ways to spend this time in CA, US:
• Do different things with the same people to deepen the relationship
• Do different things with different people to expand your circle
15. There's really so much thing to do and so little time.. which leads to
16. This quote: You can do anything, but you can't do everything.
17. Now I have to find things that lie in the "I want" & "I can" quadrant. Joining the established clubs just mean one thing: selection. And that's tough.
18. Now distance is calculated in hours, rather than just minutes.
19. Relatively laggy internet -> boo ):
20. More 花草树木 ;)
21. Simply more experiences lie ahead. Make a choice, and work with it. Grass is always greener on the other side, but be thankful that you have the opportunity to be where you are at the moment.
22. I like wearing caps + hoodies -> Gonna have a new style yo~ wassup~
23. And finally, more self actualisation. Who am I?

Yosemite

That's pretty much about it. Time to go for lunch then class ~

Thanks Clara for this wonderful photo.
I pretty much look like this everyday.

Prophase I

So now is the short interim phase before that long phase overseas.
But I got 2 new things, ok.. 3 (including a mouse which I kinda bought on the fly right after exams, with the reason being me being unable to throw a grenade with the broken middle mouse button of my previous mouse, .. but the new mouse only costs $10 so... can pardon me hor? xD)

1. Bought a new Xiaomi Redmi phone.. which isn't red in colour because the red ones were sold out. Needed a relatively budget phone to replace my previous Ace 2 phone which had a black LCD tumour that was growing at the bottom left. Initially it consisted of a short line of dead pixels, but the disease spread and now the spot is practically as big as my thumb.

2. Finally was able to get an internship. And yep, can't say much about what I am doing because... classified (lol, joking), but rather I don't really know what I am doing yet. All I know I would be given a project to do, but what it will be about (and what I have to do) is still unknown.

So yea, life changes so quickly. Everyone is now either overseas, working, or not working. (lol like duh). And I am now thrown into the 8am - 5pm work cycle, and being a worker again.

Now to see if I would be willing to work in such an environment.

Chapter (x + 1)

Tomorrow marks my first day at work as a university undergraduate in an internship.
Excited to see what I can pick up, and also to experience how mundane work can be.
Grateful for the support and help that I have been provided with. Help is given to those who ask.
I have been blessed with this opportunity, better make full, good use of it. However, that being said, if you ask me now, I have no idea what my internship would be. Neither do I know my remuneration, my job scope yada yada. All I know is to turn up at that place, at that time.... and the rest will be history for the next 3 months.

So my chapter at hall 11 is likely to be closed, amid speculations about us shifting into new halls when we return. Even if I do get back to hall 11, the population there of people whom I would be familiar with would probably dwindle to a handful.

It is so interesting and intriguing how we take so long to build a relationship (i.e. with the hall), but a simple, single effort (i.e. simply depositing the key into the letter box) can end it so ever swiftly. Well, to be more specific, the physical relationship and physical closeness.
I would also not meet some of my friends in a year?

Learnt quite a bit in school.

I think after 2 years, I must admit that the "cliques phenomenon" is indisputably inevitable. And it is for the better good as well. Although it might create some drift between members of different clans, it also provides the members some form of support to turn to. Initially I was quite apprehensive about this "clique" thing, and steadfastly proclaim myself as "clique-less"; but then I realised I am into this "clique" thing as well.
But there's nothing to be ashamed of, it is alright to have a clique. But be more aware about others who are so-called-not-in-your-clique. It doesn't mean they are not in your "clique" you treat them as second-class friends. People in your clique might be the first whom you turn to, but these other friends living on the fringes are equally important as well - because you always need a plan B in case your clique collapses.

I have made more friends. And I intend to keep most of them. This time, I have more friends to stay in touch, but still the same 24 hours a day. Looks like I am in need of some time management.


Time to get a new phone. There are indeed so much wisdom in my friends, I cannot fathom how they know such stuff. Looking for the small rice, and had some "fun" scrambling around everywhere getting price quotes. 

And my tablet seems to be screwing up. Some China stuff seem to be working, and others seem to be relishing in bad reputation.

And I probably need to do another thought rumination process. Have to settle my priorities, and what to focus on.

Note to self

New Year Resolutions

Note to self: 

1. 30 Cheap And Amazing Date Ideas For Couples

2. Trampoline Park

3. Use less "swear" words

4. Watch my tone: speak in a less condescending tone, sometimes good intentions may be masked by bad publicity

5. End my URECA with a bang!

Shall sticky this post for constant reminder (:

Quick glance for 2013 in review

Going off for a game of basketball soon, but while I am waiting why not relieve this blogging hiatus of mine?

An eventful year, it really is; with new experiences and new friends.

Let's try to start off chronologically... as much as I can.

I met her. Someone whom I personally pledge I would love, not neglect and treasure, not spoil. I thought it would be really hard for me to get another, since I was "unwanted", and I was probably not the funny, fun-loving yet sensitive person like many others. I was the overly serious, can't-take-jokes and constantly put on a face of being owed a million dollars. I am still learning how to develop the relationship, balancing my priorities, but also maintaining my own identity - in the past I was so overly engrossed with my relationship I neglected my personal life (other than studies), it was terrible.


There was HOCC, the ultimate dance competition in NTU between all the halls. The competition was only half the story, the jubilation of finishing the routine, the satisfaction of actually remembering all the moves, and the pride of showcasing our 1 month+ long worth of effort. The other half was the commencement of a stronger relationship with the dancers. Looking back, we have understood each other better, felt more comfortable with each other and that's where the true colours appear. Some have commented how I have changed from last year, becoming more troll this year =/ It makes me wonder, how long does it take for people to truly open up.
My dancers are truly one bunch. They may not be the most compatible, they may have their own faults and their own worries. But we share and love good company. The feeling of completing something together is sometimes so immense it bonds us. However, not everyone will be bonded, but at least we feel more open to each other.


Drumming lessons and the beginning of other spin off hobbies. I probably went through another round of self actualisation and discovery. I do love music, although I am certainly not good with music. I can't sing, nor can I compose or even play music. But I have my own pattern, and my own tune, and I play my own band in my head. I pride in being able to recognise most songs that I have with me after hearing just around 5 seconds? Of course I'd reckon many others are able to do so, but I shall treat it as my own little achievement.
Nonetheless, the drumming lessons provided two .. benefits (I don't know how to call it):
1. Provided some roomie time out of the room - Discovered although we don't know anything in the world, we kind of catch things quickly and we just simply love having fun even if we don't foresee ourselves using that in the future
2. Discovered my love for music - Nope, I won't make music as my career, but I realised how fun it is to split a song into its components and listen to the various layers. Although I won't especially go out/drop my current commitments to practice music, fiddling with music is at least part of my "to-do-when-I-am-bored" list. Yep, guitar / drums let's go! 
Another hobby: Learning French. Yep, it is fun to learn a language, and more fun when you are really learning it at your own sweet pace. Of course it may not be the most efficient way or effective way to learn, and I might be probably wasting more time, but hey it's still learning no? I never know when I can use it, but learning new things is always better isn't it?


Becoming a senior. This is probably the 3rd time I had the feeling of being a senior. Firstly in my secondary school CCA, then in JC and now in uni. Becoming a senior is like this "coming of age" thing. Now that you know the system, you are used to the way things work here. And it's interesting to watch the starry-eyed juniors coming in with their fresh slate of mind. The trepidation, hesitation, nervousness, excitement and passion that usually come packaged with them is so refreshing. I have always liked to teach and share my opinions (sometimes too much haha). Furthermore, being a senior and knowing the system means things are probably done more efficiently and time is saved on having to figure out cumbersome administrative work and effort is spared on assignments that are not numerically significant - if not graded, it's ok to slack. And of course, we all learnt that nothing in university is "compulsory", unless when it comes to prerequisites for courses and grades to graduate.


Becoming more aware of my friendships - and concretizing some. I am really glad for the people around me. Not everyone might be a good friend, but I can always be a person to open to. I wish to reinforce some of the closer friendships I have, whilst opening and developing new ones. It will be tough, and it will be time consuming. This is a shoutout to the 4 other musketeers who frequent the class table with me. They have suffered from my incessant chatter, ludicrous comments and unrefined behaviour, but they are still surviving at the table and (probably) happily staying there and entertaining me nonetheless. They have a good balance of fun and study, something which I appreciate. I do take my studies a bit more seriously and I place higher importance in attending and participating in classes. There is always room for improvement, and I hope to inspire and improve all those around me. And I do hope to carry such relationships beyond university life, and integrating them with my own personal life.


Participating in new activities I wouldn't have reasonably foreseen in the past.
1. F1 pit walkabout
2. Driving into Malaysia all the way to Taman Negara
3. Building a submarine (which kinda failed but it was fun nonetheless)
4. Going Bangkok with my parents and my dancers - and learning how to be more "loose" with my wallet
5. Attending my first ever church service (and seeing someone in action)
6. Removing my metal plate from my arm (I'm no longer wolverine D: )


I am hoping to be someone more sensitive, yet still being down-to-earth and pragmatic. I still staunchly believe in pragmatism, but I see that pragmatism is not the way to go in some occasions. In fact, adaptability is a far greater and superior trait than pragmatism. We should acquire and learn as many skills as possible, so as to increase our adaptability to situations; such that when faced with a situation, we are able to increase our options. Never should we pick a decision simply because it is "impossible", but rather "I can do it but I rather do something else". For instance, we can be thrifty, but we should also learn to be able to get clothes that fit us and know which clothes are of good quality. I was the former, but never the latter. I knew how to save, but at the expense of my inadequate knowledge in fashion and dressing myself up to look good. Of course we shouldn't be spending too much on clothes, but I was unable to even make myself look good in the first place. Now I would say I know a thing or two in dressing up, but at the same time I know when to save and when not to be so stingy with the cash.
Furthermore, I want to change the way I speak. Many at times my voice do not match my intentions, and my tone might intimidate people instead of encouraging them. I have to be practical, yet not be too harsh demoralizing. I have to also not judge people on the fly, and always try to understand the root causes of certain decisions. Remember, assume the goodness in others. Even if people ask questions which I think are silly or have a rhetorical question, either I am so obvious I am trolling or I answer the question without adding any form of judgement in my reply. Don't assume that people know what you know, and don't always be trolling people, sometimes it pisses people off.

There are many things that are, and will be, new to me. Especially with the other sex. As I used to commonly quip, "Girls are mysterious creatures that men constantly try to, but fail, to understand" (hey this is my own personal quote in the past haha), I am learning how girls tick. At the same time I must decide when I should give in, and when I should affirm my stand. 

Again, I would like to take this opportunity to thank those at my table: Joan, Ji Inn, Clarice and Sean for tanking my eccentricities during class.
Thank you Sean for all your insights you shared with me.
Thank you Ji Inn and Clarice for not making me feel lonely during Creative Writing class.
Thank you my readers for ... reading; it touches me to know that you read my blog, as I see it as an effort taken to understand me beyond the classroom. 
I know this seems to be so REP-ish, and so here are more kudos:
Thanks to my primary school gang for still being with me, especially my basketball gang (although they probably won't read this), for providing me with sports and tanning opportunities on Sundays
Thanks Hong Rui for just accompanying me (:

And thanks to my parents for providing me with my allowance! Haha joking, and much much much more than that.

Thought Catalog Strikes Again.. Hot

14 Of The Most Powerfully Hot Qualities People Can Have

Again, Thought catalog strikes.

But this is different from the usual love story based articles found in traditional Thought Catalog fashion, it's about being yourself.

Yes, ultimately you want to get a good partner (and be a good one too). But like the old cliche saying goes, if you cannot even take care of yourself, how can you take care of others?

Of course, being a humble bragger, I would say I exhibit some levels of each of the 14 points, but definitely still a work in progress.

I recommend, exhort if you want, you to read through and reflect on yourself.
If I were to sum up the article, it is about self-confidence, and being optimistic.

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" 

The Trouble with Bright Girls

Stumbled upon this post, and got really enlightened. A logical piece that could potentially explain some of my concerns:
The Trouble with Bright Girls

Excerpt: How often have you found yourself avoiding challenges and playing it safe, sticking to goals you knew would be easy for you to reach? Are there things you decided long ago that you could never be good at? Skills you believed you would never possess?

I really recommend all my female friends (and male friends included, it may even apply to you despite the target gender of the article) to have a good read with it.
I would really love you, my reader, to read it. And to read it good. Read and reflect. Personally, there are several elements in it that I agree with, and that I am guilty of. But do not have any negative thoughts on yourself. Change them into motivation, pure motivation.

If you do read my blog, and I know it, I would want you (J,C,J) to read. I just feel that tagging you on facebook would just demean this post, and sending you this link while you are in class would not solicit the right amount of respect for this article.

Ode to you, my reader

So now the examinations are over.
Had a blog post in mind but somehow couldn't get it out of my head, probably my brain is still processing and searching for that mental draft. I think I need to install JARVIS into my head as well.

Went for the Fe man movie with the dancers, quite a good movie, worth watching. Enjoyed the graphics (and omg the dolby surround sound) and the A class acting. Robert Downey Jr. could really portray the narcissistic Tony Stark together with the problem that sporadically haunts him. However, as usual there were a number of plot holes or "quick cover ups" to end the story - but that's fine with me. I go to a cinema to be entertained, not to challenge everything I see.
And ... once I reached home and I read up on the actual characters portrayed in the movie... and kinda got disappointed again. But well, it is a "movie adaptation" and not a "movie on the actual story". Ok shan't spoil the story to my readers. 

But what I liked about Iron Man was this subtle raising of the issue of technological advancement. In our quest for betterment of our lives, we create technology that would help us, but which could also potentially harm us. The very creation of E______s would help us biologically as human beings, but when misused in a military context it could be potentially problematic. Also imagine if Tony Stark suddenly got mind controlled by some super villian, won't the Iron Man be a threat to the world then?
So as scientists, how far should we pursue our dreams? Only to create something that could be potentially rewarding, both in good and bad?

After that we went to Cold Stone. And this is my first time going there. Haha there's a reason why I label myself as a "tourist in Orchard Road". Ok la, I know where the Cold Stone is in Orchard Central, and I do know its existence, but I never actually entered and ate their ice cream before. Pardon my ignorance (:
But we had a nice little chat, nothing deep, but still updating each other on the teeny bits of things we did just after Thursday. (lol, ok it's only like 1 day but still alot have been done.. in terms of laziness)


===============================

But yep examinations are over! I owe myself a recollection and summary of this entire academic year of reflections. 

*shall take a shower before continuing*
*back, switches on Kevin Kern music*

So one year as a university undergraduate has simply slipped away. Metaphorically alone now, listening to soothing music, and immersing myself in the buzzing world of crickets - just like I was in hall. Even more striking (I just realised), is that the window is to the left of me now, exactly the same way I am positioned in hall.

Hall has been a fantastic place for me to be in. Other than having a new, separate social circle (I think we have discussed about this before, the benefits of having a separate social circle, although the hall social circle is partially fused but still I can consider it almost separate from the circle in school and outside school), Hall provided an immense level of convenience and independence. Although I am still technically in Singapore and have the luxury of a 24/7 response hotline that I can dial in case I meet any difficulties, I told myself never to use that hotline other than to update them on me being safe and enjoying my time in hall. I think I got this bug from the army, but I can't help but smile at the idea of being able to stay by myself (or with an awesome room mate like whom I have presently), and "visiting" my parents on the weekends. I can even regard this as an early opportunity to be "post marriage living away from the parents" kind of thing, getting to experience first hand what it's like to be alone. (Maybe my roomie can turn into a girl or something)

-

School in general was ... wait for it... fun! Personally I do not really understand all the hate and disgust for it. Or maybe this sense of hopelessness and despair when studying for it. However, please do not instantly think of it as "because you (Kevin) are smart and you are not really facing problems hence you naturally find it easier and hence less stressed". But of course, I do still whine now and then, but wholeheartedly, I really like this course. Where in the world can you find a course that exposes you to so much breadth? Isn't it quite heartening, or proud-worthy that when your other friends from other faculties discuss things and you are mostly likely to at least understand something? Yes we are all suspicious or wary about how our degree will serve us to get our job in the future, but in the first place when deciding to accept this programme haven't you done your research? Oh my I really sound quite bitchy now, and my English is deteriorating. I am fine with some whining now and then but sometimes I get the impression some are really so sick of being in this course but are holding on because of their scholarships. It's one thing to let us know your sentiments and want to "htht" but infecting people with negative energy is certainly not a way to do so.

I personally had to struggle with some topics, as I was unable to wrap my mind around some concepts. Anyway the immense workload would have definitely moulded us into better learners. In JC, we had the luxury of time to keep practicing on the same type of questions, and anything we didn't know we could simply rinse and repeat until we were nearly perfect with it (less some careless mistakes). However here we lack this luxury of time. In fact we probably practiced less than 5 times for each sub topic (what the question is essentially testing you on) before having to take the examination. This kind of stress forces us to change our way of learning - from simply rote learning to real conceptual understanding. We have to also get used to not having this "yes I thrashed this question (again)" feeling after completing a certain question, but rather "I hope I did it right with whatever I know". I feel this is more accurate of the working world where there is no such thing as exercises or tutorials for you to bank on. You can make mistakes once or twice - those were your "tutorials". Any further mistakes that cannot be otherwise explained would probably result in severe penalties.

-

Friendship. I have come a long way since army days. Constantly reflecting on the relationships that I have. I dare say now I am proud to cast aside this "pathetic, friendless person who is not usually invited and always on the initiating end of every conversation that is non-academic". Even though I still do not get as much attention as I would have liked, but I am getting more used to it. I have learnt, and have to learn more on:
1. It's ok to not be in the know all the time
2. It's ok to not have people talk to you or confide in you, they are simply not that comfortable with you and that's fine.
3. It's ok to not go for all the gatherings that you are invited to, there's no need to be afraid of "being left out"
4. It's ok to have some relationships fizzle out, even no matter how much you try

*Shall pause for some gaming*

However I have gained some new friends whom I can really count to. I have definitely increased the number of friends to go to for fun, but for real serious talk where I do not have to worry about making the other person feel awkward, I have at least found one person to talk to.

I am really appreciative of all the efforts my new found friends have put in me. Like seriously. It really makes my heart glows that people still remember me and make time just for me:
1. Simply knocking on my door without informing me to ask me to join them for pizza they just ordered (dancers) 
2. Simply crashing my room now and then for no rhyme or reason other than to see my face (: (many many people, you know who you are. #1 crasher: Sean. Jia jun crashed too. Nicole crashed with cakes! Adi, Yanling, Khee Ern, Hui jie crashed after their project meeting. Clarice crashing with Joan just for random chat. Leon crashing in just to have a chat at block 53 lounge. Bowen came in just to look around my room. If you have crashed but not in the list, I am really really sorry >.< )
3. Searching my name up on urban dictionary because my name came across your mind to poke fun with (I'm fine with that it just feels great to be remembered)
4. Having surprise birthday celebrations (hall + dancers - omg i really didn't know how to thank them)
5. Having people wishing me birthday when I didn't explicitly put it up
6. Having people ask about my arm now and then to see if it still hurts. And I really like it when people ask to touch it haha shit dont judge thanks
7. Having people pat my shoulder or attempt to carry me and do some stunt or world wrestling federation move on me, like justin especially (because it feels so fun)
8. A group of friends I could really call upon to go around anytime like basketball or chill or game!
9. Having friends who could tell me right in my face some things they thought I could improve on, and are willing to listen to my explanation to know more about me.

I never thought uni would be so much more gratifying, at least for this semester compared to the semester 1. I don't know but I feel much .. happier? compared to when I was in JC and army and before that. Other than the innocent childhood I had in primary school that is.

-

Joan. This short girl has taken me for a ride literally. Those who know would already know how different this girl is, where she asked instead of me. I did not have that much liking for her yet, but she took my heart. She's not the perfect girl that I want, well there's no one perfect enough for anyone. There are many "flaws" that I see in her, but those are simply what makes her so special. Even then, I myself am hopeless flawed, but also hopelessly smitten by her. Oh shit seriously this girl. Not only does she provide me with latest gossip (somehow she has a penchant to know about inside news hehe), she showers me with attention that I so greatly desire. I am also very thankful for her being able to pour out her feelings and problems to me, perfectly knowing how practical I am and probably too insensitive to provide her with any emotional relief. I yearned for company, and she fits into that role. She may not be as sporty as I would have wanted, she may not be a skirt-lover that I like, she may not be that perfect height (I think I'm the one with height problem D:), but she provides me with love and care and still some freedom for my own personal life. She trusts me despite knowing what a pimp I am, and she lets me go to have roomie time within pining for my attention. Even then, I am still not sure in what does she sees in me that she decided to even like me. Someone who is loud, noisy and relatively dense (everyone in the class knew but me lol what a loser)
Oh well, all the best to me and her. (:
Have to learn about her more, and she has to also learn about me hehe. No other way around it sorry!

-

So yea, one year has passed by. I am deciding to go for the op to remove the splint, and to remove the metal in my body. Decided I am still young and shouldn't have any foreign thing stuck in my body, and now is the best possible time to do the operation. Opportunity cost? Loss of potential overseas trips and internship opportunities. But oh well, 3 months of slacking shouldn't make much an impact will it?

=============

So what shall I do in the holidays? Oh my so many things:
1. Train my LoL to awesome 31337 levels
2. Practice my guitar
3. Ensure my cousins improve in their subjects.
4. Train my cooking (:
5. Catch up with my old friends, I need a refresher course with them again! Cannot lose them!!!!

-

Anyway, thank you blog readers. I really appreciate you guys/girls for taking the time off to read my blog. I take it as you are trying to get to know me better despite me not talking to like 99% to you guys in real life face to face. I know sometimes it's awkward but oh well. You guys could have spent the time reading my blog on probably watching other videos or doing other more useful things, but yea. For those who I know who read my blog, you probably don't know it but I am ready to talk anytime (: For those who I don't know yet and want to remain anonymous, no worries. I won't make an effort to find out who you are. That's what I told myself - at least that's if you don't come telling me that you read my blog la.

*Kevin Kern music still playing in background. Really awesome*

Time to sleep. Tomorrow gonna wake up for some awesome sporting action.
And I think I lost that bubble tea craze, probably thanks to exam.
And I spammed tags this time.
And thank you once more!

While drying my hair

Finally a chock-ful of my "have-to-do" list has been cleared :D
With two tests and a presentation set aside, now I can concentrate fully on my performance with Ji! I am really excited to how much my ability can be stretched (although I know it won't be great, but hey it is nonetheless a try!), knowing that I will probably not have such a rare opportunity in the future.

"We are both noobs, who would want us". Any kind soul might try to disapprove that statement, but hey practically I doubt we would have the opportunity for such things in the future.

This week has really been eventful, and my eyes have been opened to the inner workings and systems that have been going on within what may seem like an ordinary class. I have experienced how close friends do really care for each other, how they look out for one another, but sometimes some battles have to be fought alone. Friends can help provide you with motivation, morale support, some guidance on tactics or give you extra provisions, but ultimately you are the one who wield the sword and shield and slay that inner monster (or obstruction) of yours.

It is also interesting to learn more about your friends. Well I realised how my relationships with some people are improving, as a result of increased efforts by both sides.
Shall especially commend both hc guys for trying to spend more time with me, simple things like tagging me on Facebook (obviously mass tags ain't included), randomly striking conversations with me etc. I would love to spend more time to get to know them better. There are so many things I want to know more about them, and include them in my life!

Also I am slowly getting that awesome feeling of having some people I can turn to when I am bored. Like what some of my friends said (some even blogged about it!) it feels good to be able to just be yourself and don't give any shit about your image and you know they won't judge you severely just because you acted like a flirt or a retard. But what is more special is that want to share most things you find/do with these people. I can safely say that I am starting to really understand why tight groups form. Of course there is also a limit to how much you can play with feelings, and tensions do come about when primal things start to take over. But in the time being, I should enjoy and appreciate those who want to be with me (:

Ok it's time to sleep.
My hair is dried!