Older, but wiser?

It's about a week ago, and the experience is still fresh in my memory. With the recent memory lapses, I can't trust myself to remember that experience - so why not digitally etch it in my binary notebook?

Squash in the morning with Eeboon and Yurong. Eeboon initially wanted to jio me for squash but didn't want to disrupt my birthday. Well, I clarified that it would actually be a very apt start to my birthday since I legit enjoy it. And no chances were given cause it's my birthday - I would be upset if they did that :P As usual, after each session there would be a mental reminder to work on my backhand, and reaction time. And now my stamina. Gosh, I'm old.
And Yurong gave me this cake from Breadtalk. Lol, so cute sia. A for effort.

After that it was lunch with Eeboon and Xf, with $5 Hainanese curry rice at Clementi. Yumz ^^. Treated myself to curry chicken and the char siew. Ok la, it doesn't matter if it was my birthday since I'll eat it anyway.

Then 2 dota games followed in the afternoon. And no chances were given cause it's my birthday. In fact I think I lost both games ): 

Dinner was at Fat Cow. Beef was really great, different level from what you normally get here. Then again, Singapore isn't really a "beef" country - we love to eat beef, but we don't/can't grow our own beef here. It's also interesting seeing the waiter is probably much younger than me (maybe JC or poly student?) and he's going through his well-rehearsed lines and trained gesturing. Then there was this mental debate about how companies can ensure exceptional service while training their new staff. Would probably go back again, but this time with another beef eater. 

And then there was this unexpected finale. So Yuan Ming jio-ed me out for dinner, saying he wanted to meet me to catch up as his girlfriend was busy and it was my birthday. Well, we were supposed to be meeting for like the longest time, and so I agreed. Meeting point was at Pump Room at Clarke Quay. Turns out that it was surprise birthday celebration planned by him, Leon, Hui jie and Ji Inn for me and Sey Chee (her birthday is 1 day later). When the cake came out and I saw them, I initially couldn't my eyes. But yea, they were there alright. And to top it off, they booked Teoheng at 11pm. So we K-ed from 11 till 2am. I don't know where I get all the energy from, but it was there. We just "high"-ed all the way through the night.

Once I started work I just thought that such days would no longer apply to me. And being single, why would there be a surprise being planned for me?

Sidenote: Lost my iPod amidst being stunned/shocked/surprised. The iPod has served me for a great 4 years. It has amazing battery life, still synchronizes with the computer well, works like a charm, and definitely as reliable as old Nokia phones. But it's ok, I gained something that night too (:

Special Mentions:
Adeline for singing a birthday song to me via whatsapp call. Omg it's like been a while since I last talked to anyone on the phone other than work. And it felt both weird yet funny at the same time.

My P&G team mates for getting a cake while having claypot with me

Thanh/Clara/Shawn/Ankit/Daniel/Clarice for wishing (:

Many firsts

In a span of 2 weeks, there were many firsts.

• Emceeing to a crowd of 100+
• Choreographing (includes music editing + simple blocking) and teaching a 2 min dance routine to office colleagues 
• Making a speech (as valedictorian)

Grateful is the emotion of the day. With the strong support from my family, friends and everyone else, I could achieve so much today. 

Key learning: grab the opportunity when it's there. If the potential work to be done scares you, think about the regret you'll have if you gave the opportunity up. 

Wasn't easy, spent several late nights and even had to skip my exercises/sports for 1 whole week - which is a relatively rare occurrence for me. 

Now to think about my next steps...

Orange is the new team spirit

It's times like this that renews and reaffirms me. A simple yet relatively ludicrous idea that led to the nearly full support of everyone in the group. Each member would have to suffer from a day of intense limelight, and most of them would not have liked to bask in such glory, but they went ahead anyway. 

To the 8 of you, thank you so much. You guys probably don't know it, but it really meant a lot to me walking into class and seeing 8 other bright shirts. Because it's not just 8 bright shirts, but 8 beacons of support (:

My Flight Back from the US

I wrote this post on my flight back.. and due to some extreme red tape, it finally get to see the light of the internet tonight:

So here I am, in a twist of fate, enjoying the Business class life on my SFO-Incheon (Korea) leg in a SQ15 Boeing 777-300ER back home. I initially requested to switch my middle seat to an aisle seat (I feel my lengthy legs need some more room than an Economy could provide), but the request couldn’t be met as the plane was at maximum capacity – or in Economy terms. You can piece the rest of the puzzle. There was so much to take in, and I thought this is a feeling that many of us would have felt – and it’ll only become more frequent as time goes by. First, let’s just list some key features: 1) omg such a huge ass seat. 2) the table is huge, it’s even bigger than most tables in the lecture halls back in UCB 3) there’re so many places to stash your belongings 4) the legendary Business class service (they know my name :O) 5) last but not least, just this general feeling of swag. I’m sure many of you would be able to relate to this: you’ve been used to a certain life, and suddenly, by a stroke of sheer luck, you are whisked away into this land of privilege. To top it all, all your pre conceived notions about the “elite” or “rich behavior” come flooding your brain, you wonder how you should act, you wonder what you should be doing, you wonder whether what you should do to not make a fool of yourself (I spent a good 5 minutes trying to ease the table out of its hiding spot because it was like a behemoth trapped in a small cave), you wonder what do the air stewards think of you, you wonder and you wonder and you wonder. Then again, it’s a really nice feeling, this feeling of privilege, because after all, I’m an Economical person.

3 course meal? Fresh prawns? Steak? Omfg (well due to health reasons they only made it Medium-Well done. I prefer my steak Medium-Rare but it’s fine) And champagne. I thought I was dreaming – what did I do to deserve this luxury?

So I just watched Fast and Furious 7, and I must say it was an amazing movie. Yea, there were some plot holes, some inconsistencies, and the heroes always win. However, the action scenes were great, the story was well paced, and there was this overall theme about family which I thought was really great. And at the last part, the tribute to Paul Walker just made me board the feels train. I don’t know him personally, nor am I such a great fan of Fast 7, but what I really liked was the camaraderie between the actors (and the team in Fast 7). I guess that makes us human, this friendship that keeps us together. And when I see a group that has so much synergy, you just can’t help but feel great on the inside – and jealous too.

And now I’m listening to a playlist of the National Day songs of Singapore, arranged by, surprise surprise, SIA. I heard that this might be Kit Chan’s last NDP ): Our original Home singer won’t be around for the future NDP, and I hope the newer generation of singers don’t defile the original NDP songs. Just stick to the classics please? Listening to these songs can really invoke the patriotism in you. Just read Sumiko Tan’s (Omg it just hit me that I’ve not read her columns for a year! I used to diligently read her columns every weekend in the Sunday Times) rumination on how the intangibles are the ones that keep you “Singaporean”. I have to agree though – I seriously can’t wait to meet my parents, my relatives and my friends. And here’s a shout out to the friends who have stuck with me for so long – I’m talking about my primary school friends.

I was browsing the menu for the inflight catering service, and I saw that most of the items were pretty Western inspired. In fact, in retrospect, the very surprise that I had when I saw steak as a menu item, was a surprise in itself. I talked about this to some guy before, about how in Singapore, we still look at Western “culture” or “things” as more superior and exquisite. While the Singapore Girl still wears the traditional SIA kebaya – which I really admire, the air steward wears ironed out Western jacket and tie. This does not apply to just the air steward, but to the general business scene in Singapore. We’ve been taught that to look “professional” is to wear “long sleeve shirt with tie”, and if you want to look even better “add a jacket (which we all know is pretty stupid in Singapore)”, and these are, I think, very Western views. Of course, to pander to the Western clientele, we should dress the way that impress them. But is there any room that can accomplish both? The Singapore Girl’s kebaya is an example. It’s so elegantly done, it’s colorful, it’s uniquely “Un-Western” (although ironically it’s designed by a Westerner I think, have to double check), yet I doubt anyone can say it’s any less professional. I’ve grown up in such a culture long enough that I can’t think of any new designs that will be more Singapore yet not throwing away a “professional” image. I think I just like my polo shirt and jeans.

Sadly I won’t be able to enjoy this luxury on my final leg, unless I get incredibly lucky – I think I just spent all my karma points on this flight. Well I won’t mind if the seat beside me is empty. But this Business class business has got me thinking – one thing about first living as a regular man on the street before being able to get bumped up to a “higher tier” is that you get to appreciate all these finer things much more. You compare between what you used to have, and what you have now, and you go “oh my god, there’s so much out there”. But then again, does this mean I was any less privileged when I was flying Economic all the while? You can have this Business class, but it does not take away the fact that I’m here on this flight alone. And assuming that I get the money to keep flying Business class, will I end up taking this for granted? It reminds me of this story that was circulating around the internet for some time: *Let us celebrate this moment, a brand new day awaits - oops* In a classroom, each kid was given a paper ball and they have to toss the paper ball into a bin that was placed right at the front below the chalkboard. Naturally those at the back saw their position and complained of unfairness; but those at the front are unable to see their luxury of having the bin nearer to them. Well it’s meritocratic – whoever lands the ball in the bin gets rewarded, but how can you judge what is based on merit? A child who has to help his parents to earn money may be as smart as another child who has the privilege of his 3 meals taken care of, but because he has less time to study he’s already worse off compared to the latter. Meritocracy is definitely a good social equalizer, but there is opportunity to improve on the system. So now that I was given the taste of being in luxury, is this luxury something that is an unfair advantage? (Rambling detector turns on) Well, the Business class is also a way for SIA to rake in higher profit. I’m not sure exactly how much more SIA earns from a Business class compared to a group of Economy class (technically 1 Business class seat is about 2 Economy class seat), but having a plane full of Business class will earn SIA more than a plane of Economy class – or maybe there’s a golden ratio that statisticians in SIA has figured out.

The air stewards/stewardesses are really well trained. I’ve heard of the grueling training and selection that each staff has to undergo before they can actually step foot on the plane. In addition to the impeccable service (they were so polite I find it uncomfortable,  I’m just not used to it), whenever they walk past your seat their eyes do a quick scan and will remove any trash that is within reach automatically.

End of story: I would love my friends to experience this luxury once in a while. But remember to stay humble in person. It’s definitely a good tale (and bragging rights), and definitely good advertisement for SIA Business Class. And if you are wondering, I am not paid by SIA. Just keep this in mind if I do get successful in the future.

Updates + Appreciation

Seems that my blogging mood kicks in when I'm alone, and listening to music, and again contemplating. Add in that nagging "pressure" to blog - if I expect to have readers I surely have to be expected to provide some reading materials right?

My time in the US has been nothing short of an interesting (this is probably the mildest word ever), roller coaster ride. Well, my ride probably didn't take me on 360 loop, but there definitely have been highs and downs.

Semester 1 was like a "plan for a trip one week and then go on the trip in the next, and then rinse and repeat".

Semester 2 is now "I'm gonna stay here and mug. But then so many new stuff are happening every week, but it's still primarily in Berkeley"

Maybe I'm simply old xD

I think I have talked about this before. The USD 300 dent. Just got a letter saying they (Citi) have received the claim and will be processing it. #efficiency

The International house regularly holds a "Coffee Hour" every week where residents can mingle over coffee and some snacks. It has also become a tradition where groups of residents from the same country (or region like Scandinavia) will rise to the occasion and organise a themed Coffee Hour to showcase their countries. 

And hence we had our own. It was no mean feat, and I must say I am very happy that I joined in. Was in charge of the drinks and I decided on bandung (you can see Clara adding the red colouring) and iced tea (奶茶冰), and green bean soup (haha I really love green bean soup). Yuan Ming was in charge of food and he prepared laksa and indomee (instant noodle). 

It was real great fun preparing the drinks, as we had to get utensils + borrow cambros (drink dispensers) from the dining hall + decide how to fully utilise our limited crockery and space in the kitchen.

Oh, and those cambros provided great memories of the army. And yes these also have the infamous ability to retain the smell of their previous contents even after soaping and washing.

Preparation started as early as around 3pm and the event commenced at 9pm. 

You can see that Clara is adding red colouring to make the bandung and Yuan Ming is looking for something

Sadly I couldn't find the photograph with the graduates. But this is nonetheless a nice picture of us (or rather those who came down)

This event is quite a significant milestone in many ways. Apart from the praises that we got (one of, if not the, best coffee hours ever), this event made me feel really touched by all the help rendered by my friends. Ask and you will be given. Furthermore, I am blessed to be given a responsibility, and also be able to work with fantastic people. Matthew (the smiley guy on my left) and I "lamented" that a few days up to this Singapore Coffee Hour, all in our minds were just how to execute the Coffee Hour, and once the Coffee Hour ended it really felt as if heavy weight just got lifted off our shoulders. It's not that we feel it's a burden, but it's like ... our project.
I have to thank friends for making this happen. From setting up the beautiful and elaborate decorations, to emceeing and preparing the 4D lucky draws (yes we had 4D, and we made a lottery out of it), running the various booths, providing entertainment and hospitality to all the guests and simply being there to add to the 气氛.
But 我要特别谢的是 Clara (the girl in blue in the previous photo). She was like my right-hand man. Without her I really wouldn't have been able to prepare so much drinks and so good as well. She probably doesn't know it, but she helped me take my mind off some parts of the drinks preparation.  
It was a good night.

Full DOUBLE Rainbow! Thanks to the open landscape. When you are in the countryside, this would be pretty commonplace, but nonetheless still breathtaking. Taken in Peru.

And a week ago, I was off to Peru on an Engineers Without Borders University of California - Berkeley monitoring and evaluation trip. I like how whenever people ask me for my Spring break holiday destination, and I reply "Peru", and they think I'm going hiking or Machu Pichu. But I'm actually there for "work" and of course some sightseeing - along the way to our "work place". I'm there as a technical side to collect samples and data about the water in the Peruvian communities we are working with.

Makeshift lab. Chemistry 101!

This trip meant a lot to me. It represents this affirmation by the Peru Project committee of my work that I have put into the project over the previous semester. Ok it's not like I was very outstanding or something, or maybe there were simply lack of applicants. Nonetheless, I did attend like 90% of the meetings and tried to learn and contribute as much as I could. One key tenets in my life now is appreciation and affirmation, and this is like the best way to do it. 

The infamous alpacas. Quite rare to see wild, unrestrained ones. And they are cute. But I ate alpaca steak on the 2nd day, not that fantastic though :/ (maybe expectations were too high)

This EWB has taken quite a lot of my time and energy. I put in a minimum of 2 hours a week (because I attend 2x 1 hour meetings each week), and I have to say I'm learning a lot. I've never participated in a student organisation so actively before (sorry REP Club, my hands were tied then), and it was eye-opening learning and experiencing all the behind-the-scenes and concerns that student clubs/chapters face. Then there's also the common mistakes that student clubs make and of course the benefits and joy from successfully organising events or recruiting new people. Stuff like institutional knowledge, member retention, fundraising, so many skills. But one key phrase sticks: 

"Don't be afraid to make use of people's enthusiasm, for once it dies, it is really hard to rekindle the flame". 

It's not about abusing your friends, but more of utilising this enthusiasm to get things done. It's so much more efficient and effective when people are enthusiastic. Just remember to attribute and credit the work appropriately.

Till then~

Rekindling of an old flame

"There has to be a way back."
With those last words, he put it back on the table.

--

He enjoyed the ride immensely, his imagination still flickering wild. It has been years since he enjoyed such trips into the fictional world. He enjoyed playing out the written description in his head, and watching as a 3rd person how the story plays out. 

Micro (2011), by Micheal Crichton and Richard Preston (Crichton passed away in 2008 and Preston helped to finish the manuscript)

The last of his favourite author books. Although the story was fairly predictable (Micheal Crichton style), it was still interesting to read.

--

And he looked up, the clock read 11.50pm. He spent the last 3 hours reading the book.

This would mean he had to rush his homework in the coming weekdays, adding more workload to the already busy week he has.

Worth.

Dan Brown's Inferno will be coming in roughly 2 weeks, he can't wait. Maybe he should just Amazon Prime a book in the meantime. 

This is the Closest to Drunk, that I've ever been

And I don't wanna do anything now..

And all I could do was to sleep in
And all I could feel was to vomit
When sooner or later I woke up
I just realised it's 5 freaking pm

Hope you got the song reference (:
But yea, this is such a fantastic experience I shall blog about it while waiting for dinner (or whatever food that my stomach can take) in 30 minutes.

No worries, I have tons of biofuel in my body in terms of alcohols, this should provide me with lots of energy hehe.

So shame the culprits I shall:
Yuan Ming, Thanh, Jia Rong, Yanling, Theodore, Sey Chee, Leon

But yep, it was a whole hell of fun. Like pure fun. And Sey Chee gets special honourable mention for being so funny and cute (and she just drinks when told to do so without much resistant lol-worthy)
And knowing that you are in a bunch of friends you feel ok to just drink. And I have nothing on in the morning, so hell yea!

But I wasn't entirely drunk though, just having that disoriented feeling. I could walk back to my room unassisted, but Yuan Ming was kindly around in case anything happens. (And of course that random 5am message on the REP whatsapp group, idk but I just saw the first group that I knew Yuan Ming was in and hence I just posted in there)

But it was the aftermath that hit. I think because I wasn't that drunk I did not vomit last night (or this early morning - We stayed till around 4.30am and I slept at 5am) So after lunch (yep I had lunch), my stomach suddenly felt damn weird, and like vomiting. So while trying to have conversations with friends my stomach was feeling like shit. And I don't want to vomit because vomiting is such a terrible and horrendous experience (link to Bangkok trip when I got food poisoning). End up, enough was enough, I just went back to sleep.

So now I am going for dinner.. shall choose my food wisely. No dairy, and no food that's harsh on the stomach. There must be still alcohol in there, waiting to vomit.

But still, I had fun. And this is a good experience.

Random thoughts

Yes! Finally completed an assignment in one day of sitting (ok, I completed the easiest question 1, but managed to tackle the last 3 questions in the afternoon + night).
Frustrating, but nonetheless that sense of achievement is still awesome. There's like the 4 stages of guilt finding an error in your workings:
1. Horror (OMG!)
2. Self-denigration (wts, why am I so toopid?)
3. Denial (am I really wrong? sure or not?)
4. Relent (haiz, just redo ..) OR IDGAF (screw this shit)

So I had the glorious opportunity to experience that roller coaster of emotions multiple times today. Let's say those rides taught me to become more careful and know which are the areas that carelessness breeds.

Other random things:
1. Akin to another post, sometimes I still feel I am on vacation. In the sense, I am still a tourist, just living here for a year.
2. My flatulence smells really different from that in Singapore (idk, I have no clue what caused the change)
3. We are spending hours on assignments that contribute to a measly sum (as low as 0.4%/homework) to our final grades - but they definitely provide more value such as revision and practice
4. I am growing long hair. Like I am now breaking personal records for hair length every day I wake up. Matthew suggests I put on a mullet. It's pretty cool too, I like rockers with rockingly long hair. It just puts an extra cool factor to these people. But idk whether I can pull this off =/
5. We are beginning to fall into a routine
6. Have to resist adding more load into the already packed schedules. Might seem unpacked at times, but that's because "let's do this another time"
7. Still focusing on EWB, and getting inspired to add a continuity back home
8. And focusing on some key friends - not enough time and spare effort to get to know everyone else in a deeper level. This will take time, but I think it will bear fruit.
9. And not forgetting those abroad (home included). Appreciate, communicate and reciprocate.
10. Money outflow >>>>> money inflow
11. Planning trips is both fun, yet mentally exhausting.
12. Still on mousehunt (lol)
13. Stupid US$15 TP-Link wireless adapter is causing more inconvenience than convenience
14. Have to stop getting jealous of others who are more capable (or seemingly). Sometimes it just sucks when you see others who seem to "beat" you in every aspect of your life, it's like shoving the phrase "what have you been doing" down your throat
15. What do I want to be known as?
16. It's getting more and more random the more I type. Probably cause the clock says 12.22AM
17. DOUBLE RAINBOWS! Lazy to post, but it's on insta :D
18. And omg, can you imagine a university which rear cows for dairy as well as butchering? The cows are literally there for you to touch. And I touched cows. Moo~
19. I really like driving. I appreciate whoever who lets me drive. Vroom vroom.
20. H.a.v.e...t.o...s.p.e.a.k...s.l.o.w.e.r... or rather, enunciate my words better.
21. Stay in shape! Can't stress this importance enough. Have to maintain my regime.
22. Supposed to be planning for my 2 trips, which seemed so far away the last time I thought about it, but to think about it they will be made in less than a month's time
23. MY CAREER ): ):
24. Why am I concerning myself with so much stuff?
25. It's awkward in dance clubs when you don't know 90% of the songs =/
26. I think it's time to sleep. My eyes are going to call it a day.

And of course, thanks for reading (:
More smileys (: (: (:
(somehow I have this funny notion that smileys are trademarked by me, and others who use this (: smiley (the bracket first) are infringing my copyright)

Reflections 2 weeks late

*Cue nice music*

Yes Sean, yes Joan ... This is certainly due. And I shall dive straight into it - and this time with little or no organisation. Anything that comes into my mind will be placed without significant rearrangements.

Here are some things that I picked up:

1. The word "big" just grew bigger when you travel from Singapore to US
2. There's just so much land everywhere you go
3. And animals too. Mooo. Mehhhh... *insert deer sound*
4. Air is significantly drier, and weather is cooler - but still bearable and in fact it's like permanent air-conditioning -> this means my feet is constantly wet (I have "sweaty palms and feet" in cold weather)
5. Everyone here is good in something, and when they are good, they are really good. Puts me into shame -> what am I doing with my life?
6. There's really so many cultures and other people in the world. The world is like FKING huge?
7. It's one thing to know, understand and read about; and another to experience it in full blast in your face
8. There are many Koreans in International House as well, we can probably fight with the Korean contingent
9. The system here supports alot of recycling, but somehow, paradoxically, some people do not bear the "recycling" or "save the earth" mentality. It's like you have recycle bins, we do drop in the food into compost bins and plastic bottles into the recycling bin for plastics, but we do not cut down on the initial consumption... It's like we have NEWater but we still waste water nonetheless
10. I like this campus because it makes people walk, and walk alot. It's like walking from Hall 11 to Can A everytime -> not too far, but not that near.
11. There is an epic fitness culture here, almost everyone is doing something related to health/fitness I think one can easily catch the fitness bug. It's all about making the decision to get out of the room, through the cool/cold air, into the sports facilities, and sweating it out and getting into shape. The sports facilities are almost always crowded with people. They might not be 80-90% occupied, but at least 40-50% full at ALL times - including off peak periods like mornings and mid day.
12. Making friends is 'easy', but actually creating a bonded relationship - that requires some effort. I think one can be easily "overwhelmed" with the number of "friends" you can have.
13. A term is coined: socialising saturation point / friendship saturation point
14. There are 2 ways to spend this time in CA, US:
• Do different things with the same people to deepen the relationship
• Do different things with different people to expand your circle
15. There's really so much thing to do and so little time.. which leads to
16. This quote: You can do anything, but you can't do everything.
17. Now I have to find things that lie in the "I want" & "I can" quadrant. Joining the established clubs just mean one thing: selection. And that's tough.
18. Now distance is calculated in hours, rather than just minutes.
19. Relatively laggy internet -> boo ):
20. More 花草树木 ;)
21. Simply more experiences lie ahead. Make a choice, and work with it. Grass is always greener on the other side, but be thankful that you have the opportunity to be where you are at the moment.
22. I like wearing caps + hoodies -> Gonna have a new style yo~ wassup~
23. And finally, more self actualisation. Who am I?

Yosemite

That's pretty much about it. Time to go for lunch then class ~

Thanks Clara for this wonderful photo.
I pretty much look like this everyday.

After M&E Balance (totally unbalanced lor)

What a good night sleep. Actually, I woke up much earlier, but I decided to give my body the break it so greatly needs desires. It's when you let your body take over the mind, and utilise all sorts of cognitive dissonance to pacify your mind that you have the right to chill.

But do I have the right to chill? I still have another exam, and many more assignments to complete.
Work will never be complete, but this lack of "drive".. should I be unnerved by it?

Nonetheless, yesterday was a good day of enjoyment after a horrendous paper. I do hope I'll be able to attain my desired grade. I don't think it's really a far cry, although one can never be too sure - based on my 2 CAs in this semester.

It is quite refreshing to be (for lack of a better word) "partying" with a different group of friends. It's like there was some random sorting in class and we got grouped together; ok, maybe not so random since all of us were in the same course. 

Definitely I wasn't that close to most of them there, looking at who I spend time with. But there are little/random moments in class (and outside) where I did interact with them. But definitely not to party together.
It was great fun, and you get to learn a bit more about the nuances and eccentricities of each other. It is also probably a "confirmation" or refresher on who they really are.

One thing we are usually worried about is the worry of sending "negative signals" when we only invite a certain person, when you know that person is part of a clique. I think we ought to learn how to prepare ourselves against that. I believe we are mature enough to not to be too fussy when someone only invites your friend but not you? Maybe it's a sign that he/she is not that close to you enough, and if you wish to be closer... then make the move!

This semester is coming to a close soon. And the thought of taking that plane in August is .... indescribable. Trepidation, anxiety, anticipation, excitement.. it's really an amalgamation of feelings into one. 


And yes, I have to find a story about myself. End of the day, in the shower, who am I? What do I actually want? I find myself losing some interest in the many things I do, but some still do stand out... I have to explore them further?

Now I know why you decide to join HOCC/Hall Dance for 2 years

"Now I know why you decide to join HOCC/Hall Dance for 2 years" - Guo Wen

Immense pride, with that feeling "I feel you bro" convulsing throughout me. And this gladness to have another person be on the same page as I (and the rest) am.

From the spectated to the spectating, it is a different experience.

If you haven't been spectated before, spectating would only mean a certain thing. There's only so much you can comprehend and understand to the statement: "They have worked so hard for this performance". But once you have gone through the experience and then sit in the audience seat would you be fully aware of what goes behind the scene. The long arduous training for that 5-10 minutes of showtime.

The blood (hopefully no literal blood) and sweat spent in the times culminating to the performance itself is a challenge by itself. But nonetheless victory is sweet, when you reached the realisation that you have conquered all those seemingly endless trainings leading to late nights unwillingly burnt and homework dreadfully left undone.

But this is not only limited to dance.

Many at times, such huge events are like stories and movies. You spend a significant amount of time and effort building up to the climax, which only spans a fraction of the total amount of time/effort spent in the entire storyline. We can read like 10 chapters of build-up before the protagonist finally faces the antagonist and engage in an epic duel that last 1-2 chapters before your page says "The End".

But this is what makes life interesting. We need not always have interesting things everyday, but we should have interesting things to work towards to. Isn't that what we look forward to in life?

Anyway good job to those who danced their hearts out today. May you taste that bittersweet liberation from dance. (Ji Inn, Guo Wen, Nisha, Daniel, Agnes, Mong, Jerald, Jun Jie, Jia Hui, Wei Ming) Probably only 1 or 2 would read this, but that's fine (: support need not be broadcasted

Communication

1. Don't expect mind readers
2. Don't expect to mind read
3. Clarify when in doubt, but maintain respect for each other - hence no flaming
4. Repeat step 3 until you are absolutely sure

So relieved today, at the cost of realizing how misunderstanding I was.
But what you do does not necessarily show what you think.


End of the day, communication and being adaptable. You need not change who you are, but you can adapt to the situation.

Chinese New Year, a new look

After engaging in my annual war with dust for control over any surfaces in the house (which I gave dust 364 days in advance to prepare), I eventually maintain my defending champion title, but the victory was almost Pyrrhic. Dust quickly penetrated my defenses and made me a living wreck, virtually sick but not technically sick. I have now a running nose and feel like shit even though I don't think I am actually infected.

Nonetheless, whilst in that epic war, the lunar new year songs kept playing and advertisements proclaiming wishes of good fortune kept coming. And the economist in me questioned:

If everyone wished each other for good fortune, such as 恭喜发财, would that in effect mean anything at all? If everyone became rich, that would only result in inflation and no one will benefit from any gain in real income! $10 would probably become the new $1 if everyone wishes came true.

I pursued the idea further. So what wishes are more logical and sustainable to dish out? How would I know if a certain wish would be in effect something that actually helps not only the individual, but also society?
(This also led to a spin-off discussion of how wishes actually show how individualistic we are. We only wish for the person's welfare, but never keeping in mind that of society's. Of course, this argument would not hold if the said person being wished 万事如意 wishes to contribute to society)
And I eventually came to a conclusion, wishes for goods/services/anything that is not "economically defined" scarce will be the best wishes to make in benefit of the society. For instance, health. Health may be argued to be scarce (places to exercise is scarce, healthy food is also scarce), but I think we can somewhat agree that we can be healthy together. If we want to wish 马到成功 or 万事如意, we should add a modifier clause: only if you intend to help society. 

No worries, this argument is flimsy at best. I will still wish you 恭喜发财! (:

Happy Chinese new Year!

Note to self

New Year Resolutions

Note to self: 

1. 30 Cheap And Amazing Date Ideas For Couples

2. Trampoline Park

3. Use less "swear" words

4. Watch my tone: speak in a less condescending tone, sometimes good intentions may be masked by bad publicity

5. End my URECA with a bang!

Shall sticky this post for constant reminder (:

Expecto Patronum

To continue my Harry Potter geek-fan-mode,

was thinking about which spell can be applied into our lives, and no points for guessing what it is.

Let's list down some facts:
1. The patronus charm can only be cast by good people (we are good, ain't we. good in every sense of the word =P )
2. It can only be cast when you think of happy things, things that provide you with joy. 

When we are innately happy, or choose to remind ourselves of gleeful moments, we are inevitably protecting ourselves from harm: physical, mental and emotional.

3. It is one of the few ways to repel dementors, which in Harry Potter is, to me, an embodiment of fear, grief and sadness.

In dark times, sometimes when the situation in front of us seems to be hopeless and we feel useless, we must draw upon positive experiences to harness the strength to break free from those crippling feelings.

4. It displays your inner self, symbolised as an animal

Each of us are different in many ways, and this is evident in our actions and our beliefs. And who knows, a potential partner would have the same animal (but of the different sex) as you a la Snape?

Many at times we face grievous situations which would immediately draw a teardrop out of your eyelid, or cast despair over our souls and weaken our resolve to accomplish whatever we set out to do. However, many of us do not realise, or do not practice, casting the simple (although in HP's world the spell is said to be difficult xD) spell to protect yourself. Do you succumb yourself to the Dementor's kiss, or do you summon your courage and survive to fight another day?

I love drawing lessons and analysis, albeit far-fetched sometimes, from things I read and see and listen. This is one of them. And I hope we can all start of our Semester two on a high note. There will bound to be tribulations that we will face, and the journey will only get tougher and rougher. But keep up your determination and pride, and I hope to see you at the end of these trials!

Once again, thanks to your support! And yea, Yufei! Haha no worries I didn't neglect you (:

P.S. Mine is a stag. Is yours a doe?  Find out! :O

While waiting ..

While waiting for my 11MB poster to be rendered and saved by my computer, I went some internet trawling and came across this.

The Wife List: 10 Qualities

Of course we should not turn people into walking checklists, but also look whether they have the potential to do so.

In fact, end of the day, I feel I can sum it up again to self confidence.

Nonetheless, there was one striking line that reverberates with one of my own ethos: 

Marriage is a joining of two lives that existed prior to meeting the other person.

My version: I love you not for you to become Kevin's girlfriend (proof I am straight xD), but I love you because you are .


And interestingly, the author's wife made the female version of the checklist, and curious me went to take a look. 

The Husband List: 12 Non-Negotiables

Strip away her religious tendencies, I agree the characteristics that she is looking for are characteristics that will lead to a stable and sustained relationship. 

Definitely, everyone is a work in progress, hence if I could add one more point, it would be: They should have a learning and never-say-die spirit. 


Remember, this is not about "ticking off mental checklists" when you find a person of the opposite sex. Even if someone lacks some, enlighten him/her and bring him/her on a journey where both of you can improve each other.

Thought Catalog Strikes Again.. Hot

14 Of The Most Powerfully Hot Qualities People Can Have

Again, Thought catalog strikes.

But this is different from the usual love story based articles found in traditional Thought Catalog fashion, it's about being yourself.

Yes, ultimately you want to get a good partner (and be a good one too). But like the old cliche saying goes, if you cannot even take care of yourself, how can you take care of others?

Of course, being a humble bragger, I would say I exhibit some levels of each of the 14 points, but definitely still a work in progress.

I recommend, exhort if you want, you to read through and reflect on yourself.
If I were to sum up the article, it is about self-confidence, and being optimistic.

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light" 

Interested in Interesting Interest

Lately, I have been very fortunate to experience some very positive emotions.

Talent and skill is secondary, but the interest and desire to learn is primary.

It's very interesting, and also uplifting, to see a friend's eyes sparkle when they enter a new place. Bearing the curiousity of the child, he will go around and soak in all the new stuff that he can see in his eyes.

Interest in a certain topic/project/subject really changes one's behaviour. You will automatically become interested, take initiative and be willing to discuss and try out new ideas/methods. There is no need for external impetus, just solely relying on the fire of desire burning within the mind is sufficient to keep one going. Negative thoughts become less commonplace, and failure only serve to fuel more desire to make things work.

It is a really refreshing thing to see, and pleasant watching someone so interested in something.

And surprisingly, the two friends I am talking about have names that start with the same letter.

Random #1

#Warning: this will be a relatively disjointed post, compared to my other posts#

It just makes me feel so good, when someone initiates a random conversation with me just to share with me something random about his/her life. And I appreciate every bit of it.

Sadly, I myself am unable to carry on conversations.

Thinking back about me in class, maybe I am actually an introvert, but I act as if I am an extrovert because I want attention. But put me on a bus with a friend most likely the friend will end up getting bored (if he/she is looking for a conversation)

Somehow there are a million voices talking in my head, scrolling through all the thought catalog and random inspirational/humblebrags that I have read. But I realised they are actually largely contradictory in concept. The most important thing is where to draw the line.
For instance, we want to be ourselves, but if we simply be ourselves we will also impose upon others.


I need to learn to work with people of different personalities. And not misintepret things. But if I just take things at surface value, I become "insensitive". Oh my god...

And I have to reevaluate my commitments. And what factors should I take into account to do this reevaluation?

REP Camp

So everyone is blogging about the REP camp... or at least all the posts that I have been reading is about the camp.

It's always different when u are now involved not as a participant but as an organiser. Ok fine, I did not technically organised, but rather floated around as a senior with no obligations.

As some would have already known, I deliberately decided against joining the committee last year (even after Sean and other people approached me) because I planned for my surgery to occur during this period and I didn't want to be "non-existent" for the camp.
So ended up I was really not involved in the planning at all. Had no news about the FOC until it was quite near the camp (around 1,2 months away).
Tried joining in for some meetings, and I remembered pestering people with "if got meeting tell me ah" reminders through both verbal and SMSes, and trying my best to contribute as much as possible. Of course after a while I thought I might have talked too much (as usual), I should simply let the committee decide themselves, and if they needed help, then they can approach me.

So as the camp proceeded, I find myself wondering if I should have joined in the organising team. I had ideas, but didn't dare put forth because I didn't want to doubt the pre-existing plans. I wondered if it would be irresponsible of me to be leaving at night to take care of my arm during the camp.

So yea, a question that will not be answered. You can give me your own replies, but of course there will not be the actual thing happening. But I am grateful that I didn't join in, because I think I will do feel very bad about leaving halfway.

I am aware this post might make me sound haughty and proud / arrogant... but yea... 

I too do not regret leaving the RSR and deciding to plant myself in ABC group (Adi, Bryan and Clarice) on Day 1. Don't know if I made any impact, I tried my best to rar-rar the group without hurting my vocal chords too much or sounding really too crazy or neurotic. Realised that all the group simply needed was some catalyst to get them going.
I still remember at fright night, (clarice and adi and bryan had to deal with fright night) E group still had no clue what to do. And our group seemed so quiet it was quite disconcertingly quiet.
But one takeaway is this: To get people to contribute ideas, you have to show that giving ideas, however stupid or dumb, is possible and won't get you judged, so they won't be afraid of giving ideas.
And lo and behold! What a pleasant surprise they gave me. I was there watching their very first rehearsal, and seriously.. they touched my heart! Of course no crying heh (I'm a man) but still giving me some fuzzy feeling.


And now.. I can't wait for Hall camp.

------------------------------

Have to constantly remind myself: it is ok to be not in the know.
And... there's no reason why people should talk to you... if they want, they will, if they don't want to, then they won't.