Going off for a game of basketball soon, but while I am waiting why not relieve this blogging hiatus of mine?
An eventful year, it really is; with new experiences and new friends.
Let's try to start off chronologically... as much as I can.
I met her. Someone whom I personally pledge I would love, not neglect and treasure, not spoil. I thought it would be really hard for me to get another, since I was "unwanted", and I was probably not the funny, fun-loving yet sensitive person like many others. I was the overly serious, can't-take-jokes and constantly put on a face of being owed a million dollars. I am still learning how to develop the relationship, balancing my priorities, but also maintaining my own identity - in the past I was so overly engrossed with my relationship I neglected my personal life (other than studies), it was terrible.
There was HOCC, the ultimate dance competition in NTU between all the halls. The competition was only half the story, the jubilation of finishing the routine, the satisfaction of actually remembering all the moves, and the pride of showcasing our 1 month+ long worth of effort. The other half was the commencement of a stronger relationship with the dancers. Looking back, we have understood each other better, felt more comfortable with each other and that's where the true colours appear. Some have commented how I have changed from last year, becoming more troll this year =/ It makes me wonder, how long does it take for people to truly open up.
My dancers are truly one bunch. They may not be the most compatible, they may have their own faults and their own worries. But we share and love good company. The feeling of completing something together is sometimes so immense it bonds us. However, not everyone will be bonded, but at least we feel more open to each other.
Drumming lessons and the beginning of other spin off hobbies. I probably went through another round of self actualisation and discovery. I do love music, although I am certainly not good with music. I can't sing, nor can I compose or even play music. But I have my own pattern, and my own tune, and I play my own band in my head. I pride in being able to recognise most songs that I have with me after hearing just around 5 seconds? Of course I'd reckon many others are able to do so, but I shall treat it as my own little achievement.
Nonetheless, the drumming lessons provided two .. benefits (I don't know how to call it):
1. Provided some roomie time out of the room - Discovered although we don't know anything in the world, we kind of catch things quickly and we just simply love having fun even if we don't foresee ourselves using that in the future
2. Discovered my love for music - Nope, I won't make music as my career, but I realised how fun it is to split a song into its components and listen to the various layers. Although I won't especially go out/drop my current commitments to practice music, fiddling with music is at least part of my "to-do-when-I-am-bored" list. Yep, guitar / drums let's go!
Another hobby: Learning French. Yep, it is fun to learn a language, and more fun when you are really learning it at your own sweet pace. Of course it may not be the most efficient way or effective way to learn, and I might be probably wasting more time, but hey it's still learning no? I never know when I can use it, but learning new things is always better isn't it?
Becoming a senior. This is probably the 3rd time I had the feeling of being a senior. Firstly in my secondary school CCA, then in JC and now in uni. Becoming a senior is like this "coming of age" thing. Now that you know the system, you are used to the way things work here. And it's interesting to watch the starry-eyed juniors coming in with their fresh slate of mind. The trepidation, hesitation, nervousness, excitement and passion that usually come packaged with them is so refreshing. I have always liked to teach and share my opinions (sometimes too much haha). Furthermore, being a senior and knowing the system means things are probably done more efficiently and time is saved on having to figure out cumbersome administrative work and effort is spared on assignments that are not numerically significant - if not graded, it's ok to slack. And of course, we all learnt that nothing in university is "compulsory", unless when it comes to prerequisites for courses and grades to graduate.
Becoming more aware of my friendships - and concretizing some. I am really glad for the people around me. Not everyone might be a good friend, but I can always be a person to open to. I wish to reinforce some of the closer friendships I have, whilst opening and developing new ones. It will be tough, and it will be time consuming. This is a shoutout to the 4 other musketeers who frequent the class table with me. They have suffered from my incessant chatter, ludicrous comments and unrefined behaviour, but they are still surviving at the table and (probably) happily staying there and entertaining me nonetheless. They have a good balance of fun and study, something which I appreciate. I do take my studies a bit more seriously and I place higher importance in attending and participating in classes. There is always room for improvement, and I hope to inspire and improve all those around me. And I do hope to carry such relationships beyond university life, and integrating them with my own personal life.
Participating in new activities I wouldn't have reasonably foreseen in the past.
1. F1 pit walkabout
2. Driving into Malaysia all the way to Taman Negara
3. Building a submarine (which kinda failed but it was fun nonetheless)
4. Going Bangkok with my parents and my dancers - and learning how to be more "loose" with my wallet
5. Attending my first ever church service (and seeing someone in action)
6. Removing my metal plate from my arm (I'm no longer wolverine D: )
I am hoping to be someone more sensitive, yet still being down-to-earth and pragmatic. I still staunchly believe in pragmatism, but I see that pragmatism is not the way to go in some occasions. In fact, adaptability is a far greater and superior trait than pragmatism. We should acquire and learn as many skills as possible, so as to increase our adaptability to situations; such that when faced with a situation, we are able to increase our options. Never should we pick a decision simply because it is "impossible", but rather "I can do it but I rather do something else". For instance, we can be thrifty, but we should also learn to be able to get clothes that fit us and know which clothes are of good quality. I was the former, but never the latter. I knew how to save, but at the expense of my inadequate knowledge in fashion and dressing myself up to look good. Of course we shouldn't be spending too much on clothes, but I was unable to even make myself look good in the first place. Now I would say I know a thing or two in dressing up, but at the same time I know when to save and when not to be so stingy with the cash.
Furthermore, I want to change the way I speak. Many at times my voice do not match my intentions, and my tone might intimidate people instead of encouraging them. I have to be practical, yet not be too harsh demoralizing. I have to also not judge people on the fly, and always try to understand the root causes of certain decisions. Remember, assume the goodness in others. Even if people ask questions which I think are silly or have a rhetorical question, either I am so obvious I am trolling or I answer the question without adding any form of judgement in my reply. Don't assume that people know what you know, and don't always be trolling people, sometimes it pisses people off.
There are many things that are, and will be, new to me. Especially with the other sex. As I used to commonly quip, "Girls are mysterious creatures that men constantly try to, but fail, to understand" (hey this is my own personal quote in the past haha), I am learning how girls tick. At the same time I must decide when I should give in, and when I should affirm my stand.
Again, I would like to take this opportunity to thank those at my table: Joan, Ji Inn, Clarice and Sean for tanking my eccentricities during class.
Thank you Sean for all your insights you shared with me.
Thank you Ji Inn and Clarice for not making me feel lonely during Creative Writing class.
Thank you my readers for ... reading; it touches me to know that you read my blog, as I see it as an effort taken to understand me beyond the classroom.
I know this seems to be so REP-ish, and so here are more kudos:
Thanks to my primary school gang for still being with me, especially my basketball gang (although they probably won't read this), for providing me with sports and tanning opportunities on Sundays
Thanks Hong Rui for just accompanying me (:
And thanks to my parents for providing me with my allowance! Haha joking, and much much much more than that.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Monday, December 02, 2013
Help
It's really a weird thing. Helping people should be good right?
But why do we, occasionally, have second thoughts when helping? People judge, and you are afraid that people judge you or attempt to "decode" your efforts.
Outside: "Thanks for the help!"
Inside: "Whoa, this guy study so fast already, coming to show off is it?"
And then there's this issue of whether your help would actually help the intended person. If you end up sounding like another confusing professor blabbering on, both your time will be wasted; but your poor friend would still say they are "fine with it" because they do not want to make you feel bad.
So you end up not helping. But is it an overall more efficient use of resources?
I wonder what have become of me with examinations. I do not want to complain, because complaining is not going to do anything and it will simply end up in a spiral. But I too want to let out some steam? Maybe it's because I want to show that I have faults. It's nice to know that people regard me highly, but sometimes it becomes irritating instead. As in, I don't mind getting teased now and then but sometimes I get this feeling that people in fact do think in that way and then they assume!
Not say I have done fantastic this time round, I have grown much more slacker, probably too slack? I'm not sure. Maybe we are all already used to this examination mode.
Now is the final exam. Finally! And I have decided to go on trips with people... but sadly things seem to be cropping up, such as the Bangkok protesting.
And holidays are here... Looks like Round #3 of "Who will you be with during the holidays". Time to catch up with old ones and rebond those decaying ties...
But why do we, occasionally, have second thoughts when helping? People judge, and you are afraid that people judge you or attempt to "decode" your efforts.
Outside: "Thanks for the help!"
Inside: "Whoa, this guy study so fast already, coming to show off is it?"
And then there's this issue of whether your help would actually help the intended person. If you end up sounding like another confusing professor blabbering on, both your time will be wasted; but your poor friend would still say they are "fine with it" because they do not want to make you feel bad.
So you end up not helping. But is it an overall more efficient use of resources?
I wonder what have become of me with examinations. I do not want to complain, because complaining is not going to do anything and it will simply end up in a spiral. But I too want to let out some steam? Maybe it's because I want to show that I have faults. It's nice to know that people regard me highly, but sometimes it becomes irritating instead. As in, I don't mind getting teased now and then but sometimes I get this feeling that people in fact do think in that way and then they assume!
Not say I have done fantastic this time round, I have grown much more slacker, probably too slack? I'm not sure. Maybe we are all already used to this examination mode.
Now is the final exam. Finally! And I have decided to go on trips with people... but sadly things seem to be cropping up, such as the Bangkok protesting.
And holidays are here... Looks like Round #3 of "Who will you be with during the holidays". Time to catch up with old ones and rebond those decaying ties...
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Be Friends with Failure
And I might be overdue on posts.
Nonetheless, this is something worth to look at, to constantly remind yourself how good you are intrinsically.
And one more thing:
If you are ever bored, it's because you are not curious enough.
There are so many new things to discover each day. Even if you find yourself with nothing to do, just chilling out and watching scenery is itself something to do.
Friends ask me, how do I cope with all the stress?
Enjoy anything you do. I am lucky enough to have the luxury of being successful in some things that I do, but that is primarily because I like learning, whether it will be useful or not; because anything will be useful, it is a matter of when. Fight those unhealthy tendencies and thoughts that go something like "Why am I learning this shit?" or "It is not even going to help us next time!".
There's a difference between saying it for fun during lunch chat and actually believing in those statements.
I may not like studying some subjects. Neither do I like to see myself scribbling and pondering over some questions only to smack myself in the face when I see how simple the solutions are. I curse and swear at myself for stupidity, overlooking simple details or just careless mistakes. But do I actually let them affect me?
No.
"Failure is a sign you are learning something new." Even if you have tried time and again and keep making mistake, it's a sign that:
1. You can try a new method to learn it.
2. You simply haven't learnt it that well, so learn again!
Oh and try listening to this Youtube channel, been my study music for this sem: Relax Daily
Friday, November 08, 2013
While waiting ..
While waiting for my 11MB poster to be rendered and saved by my computer, I went some internet trawling and came across this.
.
And interestingly, the author's wife made the female version of the checklist, and curious me went to take a look.
The Husband List: 12 Non-Negotiables
Strip away her religious tendencies, I agree the characteristics that she is looking for are characteristics that will lead to a stable and sustained relationship.
Definitely, everyone is a work in progress, hence if I could add one more point, it would be: They should have a learning and never-say-die spirit.
Remember, this is not about "ticking off mental checklists" when you find a person of the opposite sex. Even if someone lacks some, enlighten him/her and bring him/her on a journey where both of you can improve each other.
The Wife List: 10 Qualities
Of course we should not turn people into walking checklists, but also look whether they have the potential to do so.
In fact, end of the day, I feel I can sum it up again to self confidence.
Nonetheless, there was one striking line that reverberates with one of my own ethos:
Marriage is a joining of two lives that existed prior to meeting the other person.My version: I love you not for you to become Kevin's girlfriend (proof I am straight xD), but I love you because you are
And interestingly, the author's wife made the female version of the checklist, and curious me went to take a look.
The Husband List: 12 Non-Negotiables
Strip away her religious tendencies, I agree the characteristics that she is looking for are characteristics that will lead to a stable and sustained relationship.
Definitely, everyone is a work in progress, hence if I could add one more point, it would be: They should have a learning and never-say-die spirit.
Remember, this is not about "ticking off mental checklists" when you find a person of the opposite sex. Even if someone lacks some, enlighten him/her and bring him/her on a journey where both of you can improve each other.
Wednesday, November 06, 2013
Being adaptable and I don't know what to do
Being adaptable is really the key to success these days.
It's not about being the smartest, or the fastest, but whether you give yourself the option to do whatever the situation requires you to do.
You get fit not only because you look better or can run/jump/swim faster, but because it gives you more options to
1. try other sports/games
2. literally escape from danger
There are always weaknesses to everything (in the process of being fit you might injure yourself and make yourself worse), but being adaptable means you have means to counter these weaknesses whenever you need to.
For example, gazelles can run long distance (they can sustain a longer distance than cheetahs) but do not have the option to sprint short distances (which cheetahs are famous for), this makes them less adaptable as they are unable to "switch" modes of running if they need to.
Here's a more relevant analogy. You may be the most diplomatic person around the class likes you, but inevitable there will be people in the future whom you will meet that will take advantage of your diplomacy. Are you able to switch to a more aggressive stance to get what you want? If you can, then good you are adaptable. But converse is also true, if you can't, you are not adaptable and will be subjected to abuse (and you will feel helpless about it because you will be wondering why your diplomacy doesn't work at that moment).
And here's a tip to the usual complaints of "I don't know what to do":
Enjoy school!
It's not about being the smartest, or the fastest, but whether you give yourself the option to do whatever the situation requires you to do.
You get fit not only because you look better or can run/jump/swim faster, but because it gives you more options to
1. try other sports/games
2. literally escape from danger
There are always weaknesses to everything (in the process of being fit you might injure yourself and make yourself worse), but being adaptable means you have means to counter these weaknesses whenever you need to.
For example, gazelles can run long distance (they can sustain a longer distance than cheetahs) but do not have the option to sprint short distances (which cheetahs are famous for), this makes them less adaptable as they are unable to "switch" modes of running if they need to.
Here's a more relevant analogy. You may be the most diplomatic person around the class likes you, but inevitable there will be people in the future whom you will meet that will take advantage of your diplomacy. Are you able to switch to a more aggressive stance to get what you want? If you can, then good you are adaptable. But converse is also true, if you can't, you are not adaptable and will be subjected to abuse (and you will feel helpless about it because you will be wondering why your diplomacy doesn't work at that moment).
And here's a tip to the usual complaints of "I don't know what to do":
If you find yourself in a situation facing a project/term paper/written report that you claim you have no idea what to do, imagine yourself in a situation where you are given 10 minutes to come up with anything linked to the theme in question otherwise you'll get shot/killed/mauled/decapitated/tortured/maimed (assuming these are treatments you don't want to get).I think you would have probably come up with 1 idea by now. Work on that idea, brainstorm and apply that scenario again until you have a sizeable amount of ideas.
Enjoy school!
Saturday, October 26, 2013
What you want is harder to find than what you don't want.
What you want is harder to find/discover than what you don't want.
Sounds potent, and logical enough.
People actually don't mind interacting, just you have to actively engage them if they don't engage you.
Sounds potent, and logical enough.
People actually don't mind interacting, just you have to actively engage them if they don't engage you.
Thursday, October 10, 2013
A coded message
If you have been asked to see this, by all means carry on. But if you have no clue whatsover what this message is doing here, then this post is just not for you today (:
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RPVQK CCMNI
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GXETA NTKUN
KGRSS VNQEG HPXIA CRFKW TUWBG LEEHD CDXTB SLXUT QJCPO
JSRIL KPVQQ
VFNGS FPKPL IJIWU RKCMV BLTRI HJVWG UENCS EUEXT AIPFG
PFCSR OKWGW
CWPTM OFJMH ECXEQ CIMCV JGRKF BOKJQ AXERP JVKKB OAWGV
QQOCU LVPPV
JFBFM BNUHU AUNUN EDENI HAMDW AEPJA KMVBR UTMML WHDNE
PPEVD MJUNW
BHGNU UHSHS VRSNH BPKEV GMCOB RTSHK CWERG MEDGX HRDCT
NRNIW MCQPA
GBHCQ FEAGG MLSFK XTTDQ AJCFO OVQSC PLMOV BUNJR RDWAL
AEUBL XAHFK
KUOJE CCAFT WVBWH UBHLV KQCIJ UUCGV FAHFW TLOXO HKNSX
TPVLD SHDXQ
GFJEM ILIMQ XWPSJ JTQMM XSQMR EPFUK FHKFK IUFKR QPVJO
OPJMR QVWCS
CNJHL ATXGR QSDWM XDFWJ WCLDG CODLO PBCCP GEQJU RTCKU
VMGXM KXJLE
UIQRP WWLIX BJTBS TTPTA EEXLW JQAEJ AJOAE JTPEG LDUDQ
BKKXU LJRCX
RWMJP AMDNB LODBB OAQPV UUSJS JOTHJ ACQWN VROIC LBGAI
PAKXQ JKSKA
WNVHQ CDFXM RTUEU BTGSM AAPEP GWVPQ RJIWP DOUIS LJVLU
DTUTG UBPMC
NMQPQ KLTIK HNGBR SQMVS NILAH EDBTC BCQHL CEWCP VNRPN
GXPAE WUGPB
CPMWX GPMLN AVWGS MDLJC WOKNE PEMDK VOFGA VQSQQ COLWI
RDCQX JOJIP
FKFJL OJFNM TOSOU XFKDH KJODX BCTFP VFTKB TPAKX KDTTT
SCTUJ WSOMB
MPETT PDUOI LBESI PDRMV PRVLV QLNLO WAPGF DXXVR PKUUN
TNVRC BIECS
FOUHB IHHQG FQKEQ CNQJX DGSOS OCEMR RDMIM ADWXF NLRSI
ITCHF CSTHW
RACOX GONEL CNEJL JEOQG EGUFQ OSSDX XJNXI DPFNN HSKBK
VNBUT QGCFX
CVJBI OVWRU AESUV NEUFP AIOSR LOLXH GRUXC QMURO XCNPJ
TTQBA RNRXQ
KBKGI VISTQ RUNCD OUIIO AFKNK CQAFK RQLLS FWHUW GHWDH
JABSO AOAHU
VSTOQ ENLRF LTDJB KQEEN WEWBG VNLBL CIAHL FVXPQ GHDRD
XPXSX QFDAU
LCKSL OMSPG FMGNN CNSOW AEJPD WVCBF DJJGC MXFWG RESQU
LRDNX DWCBE
FWXSJ NUNCO GIHEX VRRFA MDVXS JDIIC SSTTL XCGEP QENEO
POCAD VSSUG
DVMDS XARHV EXGFO TBCBP DRMNR UGXKV FJAFK ALIKF CGMUB
QRPNB OEPOH
CVVOI SSGWR OGXAF CTKSP TAXMU JHRJC JLPRS WTQLQ OWGHP
EDSHV GQEOI
GAFLF VTJUO IJSKT PTUQJ SLJHM AWLGS PMKKC WQRWI VDNCV
XNJTP XBIAG
SMGRM RXMWV QSLAV EITDL PXWAD AGGES LPLDB TFOCU WGFWE
CLHPV RQMLJ
GGXEG NNLNH TGKOT HFMRE KRTUW MCXMX EFNQP KCBFK IMBIE
IEBGP CEBNW
MVMMN CMJDA NMTHS UACLV LRWUG CFETT RHCEH GTBMK EBKMO
LMIBQ VFFLR
JDOBN CVJLR UKHLN TSUFI BRTXM WCAMP HOITD RARMU XPATE
HCPPW BCCBK
BREFG LMLRI UEGNH UFFBB ABIGP VPOKM DVVEU ULQII MXFAB
TFOFL CBKIL
JIQCK TAPGL MEBRH JSVGE WBEXP MWSES XOPJR PXMHJ PCFGV
MISGG TOOUF
AGTSI TRUNE UKUIC GCFOM ESLVL LIPBW QADXS KLNFJ GUFBO
TNBVQ FFPXG
RBPPN LWFWD CJXWJ NFALH HRLRA LLDVL DNVLR IIVMM ANVDS
IEISG TUOTM
LMJGP IPLMP KDDFR PGFGQ QUKHI WQKLG OEPNK GCWKL XAJCF
WHBFN HINHX
NNTCM DWEXO AEVJV XMDAG JEVRC NQPXP IOSWX IJWQD BHMEU
JVFSX SKKAB
IEBDN JBMCN LVEAP MBHDK NKMHT IEGAP FFJXA AUDJM TGCMS
VISNH MJSPB
LQFGJ KULFG UNSEF BRBOA GMETT IRCQE DFMHJ PKROI GBHCI
AIJUD HTSAS
LMLKQ QANHG WHQMU SWPKA AKCVO JNSFC NRUAL JMSAC EVKQP
ROEGS QQAAK
WCQLB AMSMM PIEHI RAPME GFXUS SQJXO PCEPP LTBSO FRQFG
OGIPM DNKVR
EBOXT BQHBD IHKJM XVHKA ODAWL LXBDI XHDBR CSAFF LDRUP
RBFNO EDJRK
JVDBU APRJG SHSUL MNNDK CGFOK BCHOO WDRNH WLHHG PMTXG
TLHDU TUPMO
TLPJB ONRCL UMUDI FOUSV MPPAA HIURQ UGVHJ AQJTJ HMFUA
EXPNB KKHKU
LVHLV XFBND HTWII IFFJP NWJFP TCQCP FWGQJ LFMJU WKVJQ
FSFPU NVABN
NBCFU SIBPS NULXH GJRUJ ECBUG GPQIM AQCJQ IOOSG IMNHP
AODGD LMSHI
MCEWM KCFPD MCXUI UTHFN GRPQO RFSSX FJGCU KOFVQ XHPPV
XXIQU LVGDA
MDTVF WOAHG AOFJK GFTUI MQSRH HJGCL AQUDF QJKJL SGQEE
OEGIQ QJGRM
UXFWA LQTAO NAUEM MNSSN EMWVO WVSQV WEUXH EGBGD EKHPK
HTDRO UMQVA
XJLCM KPMGF QJGLD WDLLL BHISM NQLDX BLHKU NXIUR GKEQD
VRJII XEURN
WWBAX ENUVA DLTTJ BTOUR RCUVK EHBJA WFTRN MCSSH EADME
XUHQU JOMON
OHENJ NGRCW FELIP RMQLV SKMDK KHCOJ HSLUD JIDUO FXCIS
KXAAV SSGNN
TRBEQ QKWFD UQPVS BTPIU NTPHM WHMQD WDQBK RKUBH TFWKI
SIKJJ DMTUR
ERTTR EEVGM VLXEC VMRJG XLPLR KWPPG JEFRK VHEXL LLVGV
LPWXQ AOOJK
RGFXT REGCB OFFHA JNHRE VOUPB XGUJB EPRMR PBRAH QWJGK
JDWHO ODTCC
AFRTX OFKAO OJNOX QKEMW PHUFG AFRGS ERTHO LODKA UBKAV
WGQVP EPREB
UXHIG GQDCL PSHSV BATPL SABES AIJNN AADAU WHJAJ XITTS
LJUIO XGBIS
TNNJH TVFHC XKSLU JOGBX XTUWA IBDSJ GVICU VDGKL IUWXP
GRSLE JLBHW
TITWH HKKOX JNEKE JHHPN DCGIQ NATJS SPWBO CMORL THIEL
LQKKJ QXMSA
XQRXU FKXEB CLROF NTSSA XEEJL IFRXK QGMDH CVOKP JSNCW
TACHL BDULO
BJKUL NHJQD IEXCX JDGRE SXKIV TXDTP LHJRB VKDUO BRQSR
QTJIN JSTGG
SRDGR BJOBB WSQDQ MESRC UOCLJ SPAEJ BDOTU XOGCG RDFPW
GGBLR GXXQT
MUXLJ LOGBQ FFLDG RFPNE OPHSP PDVEA NBHMO UQIGM TXDIC
IDLRH VBOWK
NFSJS RNTQE AVALN XMBSV GPKUD JCARR QWCHI KMPPQ HLDDL
NBCWD SQVKF
NGROH KJRML AIBXO IONHR BNFXL EHVDI DRLLG UJATI VUFVC
CVVOJ QIFSI
AJNQR XJLJE CQUEH VWMER MHFGG SLOCW ATFRB IFHXT FSSFP
JAROL NGDQF
OKODA XTEXA DJUGS VIWRU SSDDR QOAUU LBSRI UHMDQ VDBCB
PIVLE VLORC
TQFVA OFNIW FHEBG FAAGH UTNIL GOIXU SNRID GPGDQ GNQVV
EVHXB WPEOP
TEXFH HCAFM DGQDC ONSDO IPQGC JCKQQ VRQRH ASGQN VOPCF
TXKED GKUQR
KEQMP LLOVN GTOTF HNARC DXPMX MMBDI CSSWL IMLSK EPUQB
RJGCS ONFVP
FPNEN DLUVU TCUXJ GDMZZ YYYYY
Hint: Solve the bottom first, before you approach the top.
Codegroup:
89 87 75 75 71 45 79 86 81 68 84 45 74 88 85 88 85 45 80 65 86 83 80 44 72 75 69 85 70 44 77 74 70 82 86 44 88 76 63 65 79 43 74 72 71 70 75 43 86 73 80 79 88 43 74 84 63 72 62 42 83 81 67 84 68 42 66 86 66 83 85 END
89 87 75 75 71 45 79 86 81 68 84 45 74 88 85 88 85 45 80 65 86 83 80 44 72 75 69 85 70 44 77 74 70 82 86 44 88 76 63 65 79 43 74 72 71 70 75 43 86 73 80 79 88 43 74 84 63 72 62 42 83 81 67 84 68 42 66 86 66 83 85 END
I would excel if I were to put in a n x (n2+n/2) array, and I
heard Fibonacci first didn’t like that number.
If that didn’t help you, adding up both the row number and column number won’t
give you more chairs than a square of five chairs. Following that, watch out for the same
mischievous bunch of students that keep
appearing, maybe they will give a clue to this mayhem? But take note –students
being in the same school does not mean that all levels of students are exactly the same. Lastly, I really hate numbers. But you know what, the
first thing you should do when you are stuck, is to always ask questions… with just one letter? Y?
And when you are done with all those.. here's the last puzzle for you to solve:
AEDHH – NSATA – GUYRP – OOTIP – HYOBY
It will be remarkably easy. However you started, will always be however you end.
And when you are done with all those.. here's the last puzzle for you to solve:
AEDHH – NSATA – GUYRP – OOTIP – HYOBY
It will be remarkably easy. However you started, will always be however you end.
Monday, October 07, 2013
Thought Catalog Strikes Again.. Hot
14 Of The Most Powerfully Hot Qualities People Can Have
Again, Thought catalog strikes.
But this is different from the usual love story based articles found in traditional Thought Catalog fashion, it's about being yourself.
Yes, ultimately you want to get a good partner (and be a good one too). But like the old cliche saying goes, if you cannot even take care of yourself, how can you take care of others?
Of course, being a humble bragger, I would say I exhibit some levels of each of the 14 points, but definitely still a work in progress.
I recommend, exhort if you want, you to read through and reflect on yourself.
If I were to sum up the article, it is about self-confidence, and being optimistic.
"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light"
Again, Thought catalog strikes.
But this is different from the usual love story based articles found in traditional Thought Catalog fashion, it's about being yourself.
Yes, ultimately you want to get a good partner (and be a good one too). But like the old cliche saying goes, if you cannot even take care of yourself, how can you take care of others?
Of course, being a humble bragger, I would say I exhibit some levels of each of the 14 points, but definitely still a work in progress.
I recommend, exhort if you want, you to read through and reflect on yourself.
If I were to sum up the article, it is about self-confidence, and being optimistic.
"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light"
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Interested in Interesting Interest
Lately, I have been very fortunate to experience some very positive emotions.
Talent and skill is secondary, but the interest and desire to learn is primary.
It's very interesting, and also uplifting, to see a friend's eyes sparkle when they enter a new place. Bearing the curiousity of the child, he will go around and soak in all the new stuff that he can see in his eyes.
Interest in a certain topic/project/subject really changes one's behaviour. You will automatically become interested, take initiative and be willing to discuss and try out new ideas/methods. There is no need for external impetus, just solely relying on the fire of desire burning within the mind is sufficient to keep one going. Negative thoughts become less commonplace, and failure only serve to fuel more desire to make things work.
It is a really refreshing thing to see, and pleasant watching someone so interested in something.
And surprisingly, the two friends I am talking about have names that start with the same letter.
Talent and skill is secondary, but the interest and desire to learn is primary.
It's very interesting, and also uplifting, to see a friend's eyes sparkle when they enter a new place. Bearing the curiousity of the child, he will go around and soak in all the new stuff that he can see in his eyes.
Interest in a certain topic/project/subject really changes one's behaviour. You will automatically become interested, take initiative and be willing to discuss and try out new ideas/methods. There is no need for external impetus, just solely relying on the fire of desire burning within the mind is sufficient to keep one going. Negative thoughts become less commonplace, and failure only serve to fuel more desire to make things work.
It is a really refreshing thing to see, and pleasant watching someone so interested in something.
And surprisingly, the two friends I am talking about have names that start with the same letter.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Got inspired.
Paradoxically, the only logical way to solve irrationality is by using irrationality, instead of rational means.
Still learning, I am.
Reflect on my paradigm,
If I want to help,
Help should be tailored to her (him)
Not based on my views,
But on the person herself.
Awkward haiku-burger is awkward. But u get the picture. I think.
Edit: If you realised, I edited my Out links -->
Paradoxically, the only logical way to solve irrationality is by using irrationality, instead of rational means.
Still learning, I am.
Reflect on my paradigm,
If I want to help,
Help should be tailored to her (him)
Not based on my views,
But on the person herself.
Awkward haiku-burger is awkward. But u get the picture. I think.
Edit: If you realised, I edited my Out links -->
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Would like to emphasize a thought again, something that makes sense and I wonder why I didn't think of it:
If you want to help someone or make someone feel good, make sure the person gets helped. There's really a time and place for everything, no use trying to help a person who does not intepret your actions the way you do, you only end up making the rift between you and him/her worst.
If you want to help someone or make someone feel good, make sure the person gets helped. There's really a time and place for everything, no use trying to help a person who does not intepret your actions the way you do, you only end up making the rift between you and him/her worst.
Friday, September 13, 2013
Random #1
#Warning: this will be a relatively disjointed post, compared to my other posts#
It just makes me feel so good, when someone initiates a random conversation with me just to share with me something random about his/her life. And I appreciate every bit of it.
Sadly, I myself am unable to carry on conversations.
Thinking back about me in class, maybe I am actually an introvert, but I act as if I am an extrovert because I want attention. But put me on a bus with a friend most likely the friend will end up getting bored (if he/she is looking for a conversation)
Somehow there are a million voices talking in my head, scrolling through all the thought catalog and random inspirational/humblebrags that I have read. But I realised they are actually largely contradictory in concept. The most important thing is where to draw the line.
For instance, we want to be ourselves, but if we simply be ourselves we will also impose upon others.
I need to learn to work with people of different personalities. And not misintepret things. But if I just take things at surface value, I become "insensitive". Oh my god...
And I have to reevaluate my commitments. And what factors should I take into account to do this reevaluation?
It just makes me feel so good, when someone initiates a random conversation with me just to share with me something random about his/her life. And I appreciate every bit of it.
Sadly, I myself am unable to carry on conversations.
Thinking back about me in class, maybe I am actually an introvert, but I act as if I am an extrovert because I want attention. But put me on a bus with a friend most likely the friend will end up getting bored (if he/she is looking for a conversation)
Somehow there are a million voices talking in my head, scrolling through all the thought catalog and random inspirational/humblebrags that I have read. But I realised they are actually largely contradictory in concept. The most important thing is where to draw the line.
For instance, we want to be ourselves, but if we simply be ourselves we will also impose upon others.
I need to learn to work with people of different personalities. And not misintepret things. But if I just take things at surface value, I become "insensitive". Oh my god...
And I have to reevaluate my commitments. And what factors should I take into account to do this reevaluation?
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
The Trouble with Bright Girls
Stumbled upon this post, and got really enlightened. A logical piece that could potentially explain some of my concerns:
The Trouble with Bright Girls
I would really love you, my reader, to read it. And to read it good. Read and reflect. Personally, there are several elements in it that I agree with, and that I am guilty of. But do not have any negative thoughts on yourself. Change them into motivation, pure motivation.
If you do read my blog, and I know it, I would want you (J,C,J) to read. I just feel that tagging you on facebook would just demean this post, and sending you this link while you are in class would not solicit the right amount of respect for this article.
The Trouble with Bright Girls
Excerpt: How often have you found yourself avoiding challenges and playing it safe, sticking to goals you knew would be easy for you to reach? Are there things you decided long ago that you could never be good at? Skills you believed you would never possess?I really recommend all my female friends (and male friends included, it may even apply to you despite the target gender of the article) to have a good read with it.
I would really love you, my reader, to read it. And to read it good. Read and reflect. Personally, there are several elements in it that I agree with, and that I am guilty of. But do not have any negative thoughts on yourself. Change them into motivation, pure motivation.
If you do read my blog, and I know it, I would want you (J,C,J) to read. I just feel that tagging you on facebook would just demean this post, and sending you this link while you are in class would not solicit the right amount of respect for this article.
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Leadership
Just realised, there's a difference between "Working in a team" and "Working alone with people assisting you".
On the surface, both seems to be the same.
But probe deeper they are worlds apart.
In a team, everyone trusts each other to do their part to the best of their abilities, and hence do not overly concern themselves with parts they are not allocated.
Whereas for the latter, you are still concerned about every other parts, even though you have "assigned" people to do it, ultimately you are still thinking about how they will do it.
This probably changes how we view leadership in a team.
So how do we balance?
More importantly, now that I am aware of this, what should I do?
On the surface, both seems to be the same.
But probe deeper they are worlds apart.
In a team, everyone trusts each other to do their part to the best of their abilities, and hence do not overly concern themselves with parts they are not allocated.
Whereas for the latter, you are still concerned about every other parts, even though you have "assigned" people to do it, ultimately you are still thinking about how they will do it.
This probably changes how we view leadership in a team.
So how do we balance?
More importantly, now that I am aware of this, what should I do?
Saturday, August 31, 2013
2 key ideas
These few days have made me wonder about my own personal beliefs, and also brought upon me the idea that once we hit a certain age, our own beliefs and thinking has almost been set in stone (unless a super strong wind is able to pick it up and fling it)
Hence I think it is only right to make my own ideas (or whatever I can think of now) concrete.
I like making analogies, and my recent reply to Sean's post (I can't hyper link because I'm typing from my phone) + some other recent posts brought about the idea of interaction, and my subsequent use of the interaction analogy.
We only have so much limited information about each other. We have only this amount of memory space that can store certain amounts of information about each other. Hence it is only natural for us to assume things about others since we base our judgement on whatever limited information we have. Furthermore, over time, as new experiences and information enters our mental hard drive, some preexisting data may inadvertently get over written, hence causing us to "forget" certain things about others.
Assuming kind intentions, we shouldn't be particularly disappointed if people do forget things about us. You have to see the amount of interaction you have with the person to make the judgement. Why blame someone for forgetting you had a girlfriend if the last time you have interacted with him was years ago? Even if you do interact with the person, did you give him the necessary information?
At the very least, we should be thankful if people do ask about you. This is what matters more, the initiation to know about you. At least he makes an effort to try to remember you.
Another principle I have is feedback. We all want feedback, but sometimes we are also afraid of the painful truths. We like hearing praises but criticism etches deep in our hearts. We continually self reflect until the point of despise if we keep hearing criticism, hence as nice people we try not to be "mean" and not tell people off. Of course there is a tolerance level we should all have, but when was the last time did you have a serious talk about your actual behavior? We can be nice and diplomatic in our packaging, but has any actual content been passed? Maybe sometimes in a serious talk we should not play so nice and sometimes say the real feedback.
And why do people like to talk about others but not to the person in question directly? Once or twice for ranting or venting frustration is fine, but if it's a "chronic" thing, aren't you unfair to the said person? You are complaining about a person but you don't give him a chance to reform. Even if you for try to have subtle hints, how about simply going to the person and talking face to face? It's "fun" and OK to be the one gossiping, but the one being gossiped? I doubt so. He will simply do it again and again (probably annoying things) because he does not know how it affects you!
Of course, if you have done your part and talked to him or communicated with him (I meant actual words not insinuation), and he doesn't change, that is a different matter. Maybe you might know the reason for his doing, and probably it won't be so bad after all. ultimately, assume kind intention.
Lastly, I am thankful for friends who have been entertaining me and trying to reach out to me. I apologise that I am sometimes not free to reciprocate your offers. (Don't go into business law mode Thank you very much)
I am also trying to balance out my relationships. Have to keep maintaining contact with my friends, because I don't want to lose them either. It will not be an easy task, but it will be worthwhile.
My post may sound angsty, but mark my words, my door is always open for communication.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Brief recollection of Academic Year 2 Sem 1 Week 1
1. RPR still feels the same to me though, reminding me of the entire year I spent listening to lectures, going through tutorials and having quizzes.
2. I still have to fight for my table (by going there early), maybe I should make a mark there xD
3. My behaviour hasn't changed, probably only got worst by distracting people. Sometimes familiarity breeds contempt disrespect?
4. Work will only get tougher, and with more commitments that I want to take up, there got to be a reshuffling of priorities, and possibly abandon activities that may not be "efficient use of time". But I could use some second opinions - but question is how do I do it approach it objectively?
5. I might have to pay attention to more "after class mingling", or maybe not?
6. I like to focus on my own plans too much, and not waste time in travelling. But I am fine with being in the place early and "wasting time". I tend to walk further in front, rather than chilling at the back and talking. Maybe I need to change that as well?
7. Should I change my group? But even if I change my group, it will usually end up with those standard "non-productive" talk cock anyway. How can I encourage people to talk to me in a deeper level? I'm always a door open but few has yet to walk through it... or could I have accidentally closed the door on someone?
Thursday, August 08, 2013
Burden
Someone once told me, "In life, you can be anyone, but never a burden to others, especially your loved ones".
So here comes the concept of a burden.
And my mind started to develop ideas, definition and perspective of this theme: burden.
But warning: this piece can be highly controversial and may sound very pragmatic. Judge me all you want, but these are issues that one have to deal with anyway.
So what defines a burden? There can be many definitions, but I settle for this generalization.
Having shortcomings need not necessitate a burden; only when the shortcomings can adversely affect the relationship in the future then a burden is present. Sometimes even strengths can be a burden. Let's give an example. (and of course, whether something "adversely affect" is also down to perspective, so this passage is based on mine)
Weakness that is not a burden:
Inability to entertain the other partner for long hours may be a weakness that is evident during the dating phase (oh my partner is so boring), but will not have any lasting impact. (when u are busy working there is no inherent need to entertain)
Being a burden not only waste resources, but unnecessarily consumes effort and time. Of course, in a relationship we have to share weal and woe together, and "complement each other", but each partner also has the responsibility to remain "worth of each other". Remember, doesn't mean you have the partner means you can stop all your efforts to impress the person. In fact, you have to maintain yourself, if not you are ultimately being a cheat/liar. For instance, you used not to smoke then you suddenly pick up smoking. Of course some of these things may be trivial, (like being funny when in fact all you did were memorize jokes and once she knows your hidden truth you are like "uh shit"), but even some seemingly trivial things may be important (if you have a pet peeve against your partner but you refuse to tell your partner for fear of being judged, you will end up suffering as your pet peeve happens again and again when you are with a partner).
But having a current disability or something does not necessitate burden unless the disability will be permanent. What is more important than all these "tangible symptoms" will be the mindset. The most crucial mindset in a relationship will be the desire to learn and explore. Only through constant learning and exploration will you be able to accept new ideas and adapt to your partner's changing needs (as they grow old or enter new phases of the life) It is also with this desire you will continually try to improve and outdo your current self, honing your own physical, mental and psychological well being.
So you may ask, will I "screen" a person before I take him/her as a partner for life? Yes I would. TV shows may be all drama, but they sometimes offer real lessons. Will you seriously want to marry into a family where you will be interlocked with family politics and infighting? Is it really that easy to just elope with your partner and run off? Maybe it is, but is it so feasible all the time? Good thing is, many things that may seem to be a problem, ain't problems at all, because they can be easily remedied. And some problems can't even be classified as problems. Remember, the "problems" I am referring to are those that may be life-threatening or have high impact to the lives. For instance, HIV/AIDs will be considered a problem. But having a broken arm will not be a problem since most fractures can be healed over time.
These problems are more "mental" rather than "physical". Someone who is highly intelligent but equally stubborn and obstinate will definitely remain in a forever alone group. But someone who is less intelligent but willing to learn will have more potential as a mate.
Of course, I guess a counter argument running through your head will be, what to do when someone eventually grows old. This is where this article will lose its hold. In fact I am not addressing those concerns when your partner grows old and naturally become weaker. But mindsets remains when your partner grow old. Will your partner, due to his/her aging body, become self depressed and complain non-stop without trying any means to get better? Or will your partner, despite the age, attempt to keep his/her life colourful so as to retain his/her mental faculties as much as possible? These are real crucial questions that you must ask yourself, because when everyone else grow old, only you have the responsibility to take care of the person, unless divorce is an option.
So what does this post essentially broach about?
Love, although idyllic and sometimes idealistic, is far from that. Love is formed from compromise, where both parties have to put in effort to maintain the relationship. This means a balance of both "me" and "him/her". As I like to tell my partner, "I love you because for who you are, not an extension of me (because you are too clingy)". Furthermore, I use a rope analogy for relationship. Imagine a relationship is like a rope that has to be lifted above ground to succeed. So 2 people come and lift the rope on both ends so that the rope will be lifted above ground. If one partner goofs off or is simply unable to hold on the rope properly, the rope will have a higher chance to touching the ground and the relationship will be strained. If one partner no longer loves the other party (he/she has dropped the rope), no amount of work (lifting of the rope) by the other party will not save the relationship.
So be true to yourself, but also be true to your partner. Do your best to grow yourself, because that's one of the best ways to keep your relationship growing strong. Of course, when you need help, ask!
So here comes the concept of a burden.
And my mind started to develop ideas, definition and perspective of this theme: burden.
But warning: this piece can be highly controversial and may sound very pragmatic. Judge me all you want, but these are issues that one have to deal with anyway.
So what defines a burden? There can be many definitions, but I settle for this generalization.
Having shortcomings need not necessitate a burden; only when the shortcomings can adversely affect the relationship in the future then a burden is present. Sometimes even strengths can be a burden. Let's give an example. (and of course, whether something "adversely affect" is also down to perspective, so this passage is based on mine)
Weakness that is not a burden:
Inability to entertain the other partner for long hours may be a weakness that is evident during the dating phase (oh my partner is so boring), but will not have any lasting impact. (when u are busy working there is no inherent need to entertain)
Being a burden not only waste resources, but unnecessarily consumes effort and time. Of course, in a relationship we have to share weal and woe together, and "complement each other", but each partner also has the responsibility to remain "worth of each other". Remember, doesn't mean you have the partner means you can stop all your efforts to impress the person. In fact, you have to maintain yourself, if not you are ultimately being a cheat/liar. For instance, you used not to smoke then you suddenly pick up smoking. Of course some of these things may be trivial, (like being funny when in fact all you did were memorize jokes and once she knows your hidden truth you are like "uh shit"), but even some seemingly trivial things may be important (if you have a pet peeve against your partner but you refuse to tell your partner for fear of being judged, you will end up suffering as your pet peeve happens again and again when you are with a partner).
But having a current disability or something does not necessitate burden unless the disability will be permanent. What is more important than all these "tangible symptoms" will be the mindset. The most crucial mindset in a relationship will be the desire to learn and explore. Only through constant learning and exploration will you be able to accept new ideas and adapt to your partner's changing needs (as they grow old or enter new phases of the life) It is also with this desire you will continually try to improve and outdo your current self, honing your own physical, mental and psychological well being.
So you may ask, will I "screen" a person before I take him/her as a partner for life? Yes I would. TV shows may be all drama, but they sometimes offer real lessons. Will you seriously want to marry into a family where you will be interlocked with family politics and infighting? Is it really that easy to just elope with your partner and run off? Maybe it is, but is it so feasible all the time? Good thing is, many things that may seem to be a problem, ain't problems at all, because they can be easily remedied. And some problems can't even be classified as problems. Remember, the "problems" I am referring to are those that may be life-threatening or have high impact to the lives. For instance, HIV/AIDs will be considered a problem. But having a broken arm will not be a problem since most fractures can be healed over time.
These problems are more "mental" rather than "physical". Someone who is highly intelligent but equally stubborn and obstinate will definitely remain in a forever alone group. But someone who is less intelligent but willing to learn will have more potential as a mate.
Of course, I guess a counter argument running through your head will be, what to do when someone eventually grows old. This is where this article will lose its hold. In fact I am not addressing those concerns when your partner grows old and naturally become weaker. But mindsets remains when your partner grow old. Will your partner, due to his/her aging body, become self depressed and complain non-stop without trying any means to get better? Or will your partner, despite the age, attempt to keep his/her life colourful so as to retain his/her mental faculties as much as possible? These are real crucial questions that you must ask yourself, because when everyone else grow old, only you have the responsibility to take care of the person, unless divorce is an option.
So what does this post essentially broach about?
Love, although idyllic and sometimes idealistic, is far from that. Love is formed from compromise, where both parties have to put in effort to maintain the relationship. This means a balance of both "me" and "him/her". As I like to tell my partner, "I love you because for who you are, not an extension of me (because you are too clingy)". Furthermore, I use a rope analogy for relationship. Imagine a relationship is like a rope that has to be lifted above ground to succeed. So 2 people come and lift the rope on both ends so that the rope will be lifted above ground. If one partner goofs off or is simply unable to hold on the rope properly, the rope will have a higher chance to touching the ground and the relationship will be strained. If one partner no longer loves the other party (he/she has dropped the rope), no amount of work (lifting of the rope) by the other party will not save the relationship.
So be true to yourself, but also be true to your partner. Do your best to grow yourself, because that's one of the best ways to keep your relationship growing strong. Of course, when you need help, ask!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
REP Camp
So everyone is blogging about the REP camp... or at least all the posts that I have been reading is about the camp.
It's always different when u are now involved not as a participant but as an organiser. Ok fine, I did not technically organised, but rather floated around as a senior with no obligations.
As some would have already known, I deliberately decided against joining the committee last year (even after Sean and other people approached me) because I planned for my surgery to occur during this period and I didn't want to be "non-existent" for the camp.
So ended up I was really not involved in the planning at all. Had no news about the FOC until it was quite near the camp (around 1,2 months away).
Tried joining in for some meetings, and I remembered pestering people with "if got meeting tell me ah" reminders through both verbal and SMSes, and trying my best to contribute as much as possible. Of course after a while I thought I might have talked too much (as usual), I should simply let the committee decide themselves, and if they needed help, then they can approach me.
So as the camp proceeded, I find myself wondering if I should have joined in the organising team. I had ideas, but didn't dare put forth because I didn't want to doubt the pre-existing plans. I wondered if it would be irresponsible of me to be leaving at night to take care of my arm during the camp.
So yea, a question that will not be answered. You can give me your own replies, but of course there will not be the actual thing happening. But I am grateful that I didn't join in, because I think I will do feel very bad about leaving halfway.
I am aware this post might make me sound haughty and proud / arrogant... but yea...
I too do not regret leaving the RSR and deciding to plant myself in ABC group (Adi, Bryan and Clarice) on Day 1. Don't know if I made any impact, I tried my best to rar-rar the group without hurting my vocal chords too much or sounding really too crazy or neurotic. Realised that all the group simply needed was some catalyst to get them going.
I still remember at fright night, (clarice and adi and bryan had to deal with fright night) E group still had no clue what to do. And our group seemed so quiet it was quite disconcertingly quiet.
But one takeaway is this: To get people to contribute ideas, you have to show that giving ideas, however stupid or dumb, is possible and won't get you judged, so they won't be afraid of giving ideas.
And lo and behold! What a pleasant surprise they gave me. I was there watching their very first rehearsal, and seriously.. they touched my heart! Of course no crying heh (I'm a man) but still giving me some fuzzy feeling.
And now.. I can't wait for Hall camp.
------------------------------
Have to constantly remind myself: it is ok to be not in the know.
And... there's no reason why people should talk to you... if they want, they will, if they don't want to, then they won't.
It's always different when u are now involved not as a participant but as an organiser. Ok fine, I did not technically organised, but rather floated around as a senior with no obligations.
As some would have already known, I deliberately decided against joining the committee last year (even after Sean and other people approached me) because I planned for my surgery to occur during this period and I didn't want to be "non-existent" for the camp.
So ended up I was really not involved in the planning at all. Had no news about the FOC until it was quite near the camp (around 1,2 months away).
Tried joining in for some meetings, and I remembered pestering people with "if got meeting tell me ah" reminders through both verbal and SMSes, and trying my best to contribute as much as possible. Of course after a while I thought I might have talked too much (as usual), I should simply let the committee decide themselves, and if they needed help, then they can approach me.
So as the camp proceeded, I find myself wondering if I should have joined in the organising team. I had ideas, but didn't dare put forth because I didn't want to doubt the pre-existing plans. I wondered if it would be irresponsible of me to be leaving at night to take care of my arm during the camp.
So yea, a question that will not be answered. You can give me your own replies, but of course there will not be the actual thing happening. But I am grateful that I didn't join in, because I think I will do feel very bad about leaving halfway.
I am aware this post might make me sound haughty and proud / arrogant... but yea...
I too do not regret leaving the RSR and deciding to plant myself in ABC group (Adi, Bryan and Clarice) on Day 1. Don't know if I made any impact, I tried my best to rar-rar the group without hurting my vocal chords too much or sounding really too crazy or neurotic. Realised that all the group simply needed was some catalyst to get them going.
I still remember at fright night, (clarice and adi and bryan had to deal with fright night) E group still had no clue what to do. And our group seemed so quiet it was quite disconcertingly quiet.
But one takeaway is this: To get people to contribute ideas, you have to show that giving ideas, however stupid or dumb, is possible and won't get you judged, so they won't be afraid of giving ideas.
And lo and behold! What a pleasant surprise they gave me. I was there watching their very first rehearsal, and seriously.. they touched my heart! Of course no crying heh (I'm a man) but still giving me some fuzzy feeling.
And now.. I can't wait for Hall camp.
------------------------------
Have to constantly remind myself: it is ok to be not in the know.
And... there's no reason why people should talk to you... if they want, they will, if they don't want to, then they won't.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Long overdue
*Background music on*
My mum decided to shift in to do her work in the same room and me... and me playing the "good boy", shall not have my final game before I sleep...
*after scrolling through facebook*
Some friends have commented on my lacklustre performance in the blogging community. I would correct them, reminding them that I have NOT blogged at all. The very most I probably did is to THINK about blogging, but that doesn't constitute any contribution right?
So, many things have happened in this few months.
For some, practical work/internship takes precedence and hence more money to spend and some work experience to accrue. I applaud your decision (even if its forced for some of you, thank yourself for "being forced to work").
For others, some travelling and overseas exposure. Good too, at least you are now more aware of around the world unlike those who are still in Singapore. You have seen some of the world, which is always good.
And for me... happily waiting for my surgery to take place... and it did take place!
So now I am waiting for my arm to recover fully, such that my arm does not overwhelmingly attract my mother's attention. I want to get back to my sports, I want to get back sweating in the sun, and I want to be able to use both hands with equal ease and dexterity and not having to raise my left hand like some statue of liberty while showering.
Maybe I am really stubborn, but the doctors have clarified that there is no dietary restrictions for me. Yet my parents still claim I cannot consume seafood and poultry, which kind of narrows down my food options by quite a bit. I still don't take cold drinks nor excessively spicy food, but I have been itching to eat chicken. Actually I can do without chicken, but I don't like having this loss of choice to eat chicken. Nevertheless, I still waited for 1 week, and will probably wait another week before I sink my fangs into the avian species - or at least after I remove my stitches!
A few people visited me, or "called me out". And I thank them for being so kind! I have never known how to entertain people, and although I like to be visited, I find myself cringing in anguish trying to think of something for my visitor to do. Like trying to start random conversations. But I just can't seem to really do it.
Didn't really accomplish much. Part of me wished I never had broken my arm so I would be in a middle of a job and feeling much more self-worth. It's really weird when I am so free and am spending all my time playing games. Like c'mon, my motivation levels to do anything beyond gaming has plummeted? At least I am picking up watching videos - yes documentaries or some short clips of science. I'm still interested in science-y, nerdy stuff, but hey that's me! I grew up reading about science so why should I stop? Just that all these 'science' will not significantly contribute to my future job, at least I think they don't.
But then again, holidays are meant to unwind and relax?
I think I have some competitive drive in me, that's always comparing between people and me. I don't normally show it (or maybe I do often but I am unaware of). But this flares up more when I am alone and having my own introspection. Advantageous because it keeps me going, gives me the drive to do things, but certainly not beneficial when the drive turns the other way round and becomes a "kevin-you-just-suck" in your face kind of thing.
Then again, I did a couple of things which probably won't appear in a CV or that my future employer wouldn't bother. But at least for my own personal experience, I have never regretted doing whatever I have done, which can be quite.. "astounding"?
1. I took a 3 day course in drums. I will never forget this! I really enjoyed it and want to continue, but the course fee is expensive... and now I can't really play drums without screwing my left wrist.
2. I worked for free for 2 weeks in a kitchen. Although I have kind of forgotten whatever I learnt, but it did open my eyes up to different profiles of people. And I learnt that the Westerners children grow up REALLY FAST!
3. Took a refresher course for driving by driving up to Malaysia. Once you can drive in Malaysian highways, Singapore roads become simple streets to you.
4. Worked on my gaming skills in League of Legends. Still far from being very good, I am at least playing and learning at the same time. I have become more aggressive in improving my skills, such as watching more replays and reading up more guides rather than mindlessly playing each game.
Yep! Sounds fun right my holidays?
Well I think it sure is. Fun. Productive? Maybe no...
But that's what school is for isn't it?
Some of you might probably know it, but I am probably a weird person as I am eagerly waiting for school! Partially because I like mugging, gives me this directional pole for me to follow. At least now I know I have to mug and score well, rather than mindlessly existing in my house. But mostly because I get to meet my friends again.
Will think about my "resolutions" for this coming year, and of course shall "promise" to abide by it. But generally, whatever projects that I am in I shall push for earlier completion rather than the trademark last minute rushing that every student in Singapore will face. And of course, more constant revision. Summary: more consistent work, less last minute.
So here you go. Kevin Seng, your classmate, eagerly waiting to see your face. Of course he might probably see your face and end up doing his own thing, but no worries, at least he has seen your face and know that all is well with you. He's just that kind of person. He doesn't foresee him expanding on whatever existing friendly relationship he has. Holidays are time where friendships either grow stronger, or will die faster.
My mum decided to shift in to do her work in the same room and me... and me playing the "good boy", shall not have my final game before I sleep...
*after scrolling through facebook*
Some friends have commented on my lacklustre performance in the blogging community. I would correct them, reminding them that I have NOT blogged at all. The very most I probably did is to THINK about blogging, but that doesn't constitute any contribution right?
So, many things have happened in this few months.
For some, practical work/internship takes precedence and hence more money to spend and some work experience to accrue. I applaud your decision (even if its forced for some of you, thank yourself for "being forced to work").
For others, some travelling and overseas exposure. Good too, at least you are now more aware of around the world unlike those who are still in Singapore. You have seen some of the world, which is always good.
And for me... happily waiting for my surgery to take place... and it did take place!
So now I am waiting for my arm to recover fully, such that my arm does not overwhelmingly attract my mother's attention. I want to get back to my sports, I want to get back sweating in the sun, and I want to be able to use both hands with equal ease and dexterity and not having to raise my left hand like some statue of liberty while showering.
Maybe I am really stubborn, but the doctors have clarified that there is no dietary restrictions for me. Yet my parents still claim I cannot consume seafood and poultry, which kind of narrows down my food options by quite a bit. I still don't take cold drinks nor excessively spicy food, but I have been itching to eat chicken. Actually I can do without chicken, but I don't like having this loss of choice to eat chicken. Nevertheless, I still waited for 1 week, and will probably wait another week before I sink my fangs into the avian species - or at least after I remove my stitches!
A few people visited me, or "called me out". And I thank them for being so kind! I have never known how to entertain people, and although I like to be visited, I find myself cringing in anguish trying to think of something for my visitor to do. Like trying to start random conversations. But I just can't seem to really do it.
Didn't really accomplish much. Part of me wished I never had broken my arm so I would be in a middle of a job and feeling much more self-worth. It's really weird when I am so free and am spending all my time playing games. Like c'mon, my motivation levels to do anything beyond gaming has plummeted? At least I am picking up watching videos - yes documentaries or some short clips of science. I'm still interested in science-y, nerdy stuff, but hey that's me! I grew up reading about science so why should I stop? Just that all these 'science' will not significantly contribute to my future job, at least I think they don't.
But then again, holidays are meant to unwind and relax?
I think I have some competitive drive in me, that's always comparing between people and me. I don't normally show it (or maybe I do often but I am unaware of). But this flares up more when I am alone and having my own introspection. Advantageous because it keeps me going, gives me the drive to do things, but certainly not beneficial when the drive turns the other way round and becomes a "kevin-you-just-suck" in your face kind of thing.
Then again, I did a couple of things which probably won't appear in a CV or that my future employer wouldn't bother. But at least for my own personal experience, I have never regretted doing whatever I have done, which can be quite.. "astounding"?
1. I took a 3 day course in drums. I will never forget this! I really enjoyed it and want to continue, but the course fee is expensive... and now I can't really play drums without screwing my left wrist.
2. I worked for free for 2 weeks in a kitchen. Although I have kind of forgotten whatever I learnt, but it did open my eyes up to different profiles of people. And I learnt that the Westerners children grow up REALLY FAST!
3. Took a refresher course for driving by driving up to Malaysia. Once you can drive in Malaysian highways, Singapore roads become simple streets to you.
4. Worked on my gaming skills in League of Legends. Still far from being very good, I am at least playing and learning at the same time. I have become more aggressive in improving my skills, such as watching more replays and reading up more guides rather than mindlessly playing each game.
Yep! Sounds fun right my holidays?
Well I think it sure is. Fun. Productive? Maybe no...
But that's what school is for isn't it?
Some of you might probably know it, but I am probably a weird person as I am eagerly waiting for school! Partially because I like mugging, gives me this directional pole for me to follow. At least now I know I have to mug and score well, rather than mindlessly existing in my house. But mostly because I get to meet my friends again.
Will think about my "resolutions" for this coming year, and of course shall "promise" to abide by it. But generally, whatever projects that I am in I shall push for earlier completion rather than the trademark last minute rushing that every student in Singapore will face. And of course, more constant revision. Summary: more consistent work, less last minute.
So here you go. Kevin Seng, your classmate, eagerly waiting to see your face. Of course he might probably see your face and end up doing his own thing, but no worries, at least he has seen your face and know that all is well with you. He's just that kind of person. He doesn't foresee him expanding on whatever existing friendly relationship he has. Holidays are time where friendships either grow stronger, or will die faster.
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