http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG9CE55wbtY

interesting video you might want to watch
especially if you are concerned about education

when i thought the dust has settled
the wind just started to blow again

wooooo~


-----------------------------------------

gah, today didnt go to school
for an official reason: the doctor wanted $22 from me

so ya
alone at home
lucky I spent like 4,5 hours with my bed
( literally a bulldozer, I am a taurus )
or else I will be like wasting my time away
no motivation to do work
gah, being alone on a school day can sometimes be boring!!

shit i think i am sick again

finished state of fear (again)
in 2 weeks

bah
quite a lousy rate, but oh well, considering the fact i usually sleep on my bus trips.. :)

can you believe it?
i am doing work now .. :O

i need music now
i need you now

I hope this means good luck

my PW S/N and group number
888 HI192 SENG HWEE MIN KEVIN (censored upon den's request.. but true though i shld censor this) 3035 / 1899

:)

how hard is to go against the issue of "obligatory" ?

in other words,

how hard is it to say "no"?
even I am baffled

生病

ya, i am sick

rawr
tml going sch till 11.30
then i go home sleep bah

cant watch movie with my class leh >.<


wheeee, so happy for all your concern

Please help, thank you.

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fuck la
fuck you
fuck you both

the more i think about it
the less I can really think through about it, and the more i think you are fuckers

seriously
can you all just let me do what I want

and yes, ABCD D < i lied on the last grade
not good for you?
ya i know that
i told you the truth
yet I am scolded like shit, like fuck

you know what?
fuck this
i want to show back some fucking attitude, but i can't

you think i act like little kid?
treat me like little kid?
i show you how little kids can fuck you

i think all this talk about generation gap is just 1000% truth

am i that really shit like what you want me to be ?
i know you love me and stuff
but please do not make me give up my NRP and my own life just because my blocks flunked
you think so easy you go do la

edit:
i love songs
cuz they make me feel better naturally..
especially selected songs

treating me like kids, because I am not ready.. ?

I protest, am I really still thinking like a kid now? Or are just our principles and "benchmarks" different - one example: sleeping habits.

SOT really enlightened me alot
but then am I acting in defiance, or merely for my own rights that I actually truly deserve.


edit:

I think you all need to do your own soul searching too, sorry for being so "rude", but I really think you should.

why have i become the thing i have so ever vehemently protested against in my teenage life?

(its quite interesting too)

When You Believe

When You Believe
Mariah Carey & Whitney Houston

Many nights we pray
With no proof anyone could hear
And our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understand
Now we are not afraid
Although we know theres much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we know we could

Oah yes
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who know what miracle
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Mc:
In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
And now I am standing here
My hearts so full I cant explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought Id say

There can be miracles
When you believe
(wh: when you believe)
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who know what miraclea
You can achieve
(wh: you can achieve)
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Both:
They dont always happen when you ask
And its easy to give in to your fear
Ohhhhh
But when youre blinded by your pain
Cant see you way safe through the rain
Thought of a still resilient voice
Says love is very near

There can be miracles
(wh: miracles)
When you believe
(wh: when you believe)
Though hope is frail
Its hard to kill
Who know what miracles
You can achieve
(wh: you can achieve)
When you believe
Somehow you will
(wh: somehow somehow somehow)
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
You will when you believe
Just believe
You will when you
Believe

-----------------------------------------

i wish to dedicate this songs to some my friends that I know


knowing there's an inherent problem, but unable to help
sometimes they might even be masking these unhappiness inside their seemingly joyful self...

maybe for myself as well, a dose of encouragement...
i do not find anything much to search within myself, I think recently I have been through alot of thinking, and yet am happy to have someone be with me all the way, allowing the liquid in my conical flask to all evaporate away (read my previous post about conical flask)

it was dormant for the time being,
but for some reason, the thoughts suddenly just returned back
(at least now at a smaller scale)
i should shake them away, with my dominating pragmatic sense



woooo
unsatisfactory results for blocks
i am sure everyone got them too,
depends on their own standards

stop comparing with others,
only compare with urself.

hey, nothing in life is sweet, isnt it ? :)

blerh..
buey ta han (can't take it)

why is all the work coming at the last minute?
why am i just still equally sian and lazy?

zzzz
blocks is just 10 weeks away.

This won't do.
All the sniffing down my back,
you think I don't know what I am doing ah?

Do you know the reason why I am still able to "survive" till this day? Because I got people to talk to, people to crap with, people to make me happy and "youthful"!

Whatever you are telling me, is just saying this:
"Do not mix with your friends. You can have friends, but just leave it as friends. Don't bother when it comes to "help" or alike. In other words, be a true-blue anti-socialist."

What's wrong with chatting online? It is not a curse, it is not a crime. Even though if my work efficiency drops, at the end of the day I am still glad that I chat with someone. You know if you just remove my modes of communications, I will just totally feel empty, devoid of something?

Screw la, I am not anti-socialists (not the socialist political system mind you) like both of you. You think just because there's A levels coming I should just make books my best and only friend?

****

黄城 灯光 - 会庆

Was clearing my phone of crap things, and came across this:


memories just flood back to me...
the times we spent together..

i think it is because of 灯光 that made me decide to go for 黄城...

i love you people ! :)

Don't know why...
just have a sudden craving for sweet stuff

chocolates, sweet.. and so forth

today was waiting for the bus home at clementi, then i bought $3 worth of sweets and biscuits, all in a matter of 10 minutes
its like eat, then sian, then eat, then sian, then eat

i think i bao today's budget liao lol

then back in sch, just bought sweet drinks - Ice Lemon Tea + Peel Fresh Apple Juice

oh gosh, wondering what's with my sweet addiction...

now i just want more sweet stuff, but i cant find any! :(

sad thing is how I can only look, but I cant touch it.... :(

Sitting in front of my computer

Alot of things have gone past,

huiqing is over - phew
blocks are over - phew

ok
are those 2 count alot ?

but then, there are still projects still remaining undone, assignments still remaining unfinished, questions still remaining unresolved...

and it seems that the above 2 events somehow raised even more questions, stirred up more feelings ... innocuous they are? I am not sure.

as i am swirling them in my mind like you do with chemicals in a conical flask, i shall take out each drop day by day and solve them slowly..
or should i just drop the conical flask and let everything spill out?
(or just sleep cuz I am speaking gibberish)

rawr this is boring

i rather have school!

serious..

maybe school shld end at 10am on "holiday" days...


even my post can tell how bored i am, see how long it is.

blerh
just had the runs >.<

i think too much milk ingestion..

White Flag by Dido

I am not sure why.
This song keeps getting stuck in my head, and I just love the tune and Dido's voice!

though it makes no sense that I have to mean it now, because it is really not nice when you have to...


"White Flag"

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was there
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Fear

I remembered a quote once... that fear comes about from lack of knowledge

many people fear because they do not know much or are unsure of a certain thing. They have no ample knowledge about what is going on, and they fear for the unexpected.

You fear examinations because you are unsure of what is going to come up, and questions like "Is this formula coming up? Is this tested?"
Do you realise that when you know a certain topic is coming up, you immediately feel better?

You fear when questions about how the certain thing is going to run, going to happen, going to take place start to come out, and when you realise you cannot answer them... you start to "hallucinate" and imagine things, and this makes you even more paranoid.

This applies not only in school.
In your life, you fear when you have to make the next decision.
When you are in love, you fear that your loved one is taken away - because there is no concrete evidence or a strong answer that says "no"
When you are going for a job interview, you fear that the interviewer will come up with some super random question that is not part of your "FAQ"
When you watch a horror movie, what makes you scared and frightened is that you do not know what is coming next. You know that something is going to happen, but what? A ghost? Some bloodied hands? Ghost movies specialise in surprises - it is what makes everyone afraid.

So ya. I read in the book "State of Fear" by Michael Critchon. I tell you its a very insightful book, even though its fiction, because the idea behind it is really powerful.

Well.. not sure if it applies to you ... but it certainly applies to me. It still does, right at the very moment I am typing this. Even right at the moment i click that "Publish Post" button.


So be afraid... be very afraid...
It hurts now, but it can also be exciting.
And enjoy the adrenaline rush when the thing you are fearing about sets past...
or maybe the tears...